Indie critics pretty much slammed this CD which Devendra Banhart released this past fall. My understanding from what I read was that many felt he was trying too hard to push into the area of commercial pop. So, when I finally heard the CD I was left to scratch my head trying to understand why critics would take this view point. In many ways, this CD is less commercial than his previous release. There is a rather filtered feel to the music on “What Will Be” — to borrow a word from one of his new songs — the music, at times, feels a bit muddy and murky. But this is not a negative thing. There is something so oddly dense and warm about this music. It sort of makes me want to pull up a blanket and just create a sort of sonic cocoon as it plays. Bums me out that it doesn’t seem to be getting the attention I think it deserves.

There seems to be so much re-hash and crap out there right now. It is so refreshing to hear something with a newly fused energy. Not at all commercial pop, but it deserves to reach the commercially successful level. I guess it won’t. But, sometimes, it is cooler when you find some music that feels more like just your own. …Your personal discovery. A sort of musical treasure.

Life continues to throw curve balls. I manage to dodge most of them. Sadly, I end up catching a few. Worse yet, I’ve been hit in the head by a couple. But, one must push forward. Especially when one finds one self using lame/cliche sport metaphor — and one knows nothing of sport.

I wish therapy days did not fill me with such dread and drain me of so much energy. I am told “we” are making exceptional progress. Yet, it feels like it is getting worse before it gets better. It is a feeling. I suppose it is not truth, but feelings are what I run on — so it can get quite grim from time to time.

However, then, something perfect will happen. I’ll see a surfer catch a wave with perfect balance and grace. Or, my lover will kiss me in that way that only he can. Or, I will hear an artist hit that one note that fills my heart with joy. …Or, I will catch a glimpse of what makes the struggle of life so brilliant.

And, it is in these moments of pure hope that I find the strength to keep pushing forward.

December 9, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . Uncategorized. 4 comments.



Currently disabled, confused but disarmingly dreamy former office management executive states that while he is still fucked up and suffering with an ear infection (currently under treatment of HMO doctor) is in good state of physical health following an odd fall in his tiny bathroom.

Mr. Stanfield confirmed he was “OK” to no one in particular Wednesday morning in a statement posted to his blog. Mr. Stanfield has noted that he did discuss the matter at length with Little Bagel, the Stanfield-B pet Shih-Tzu puppy. Bagel had been crying and pawing on the other side of the closed bathroom door after hearing one of her daddies take a tumble.

Stanfield, who prefers to be called by the nickname “Matty” noted that he was getting ready to embark on a ride into the lovely city of San Francisco to meet up with his husband, B, for lunch and then a possible visit to the dollar bins at a cool record store Matty frequents — when he was over come with the need to clean the bathroom sink.

Matty discussed the fact that his desire to clean the bathroom sink rose from an odd constellation of events: Mr. Stanfield woke up too early due to the “beautiful and amazing sunlight which was filing the loft” and felt this might have contributed to the upsetting incident.

Matty has confirmed that he was playing his vinyl copy of Devendra Banhart’s “Cripple Crow” when he decided to cuddle with Bagle on the sofa. Matty suspects he drifted off to sleep at some point mid-cuddle. Following an odd mixture of the normal horrible trauma dreams and an equaling traumatic erotic dream involving his husband, B, and lame comedian/actor Dane Cooke, Matty woke up “with a start!” and got up.

Matty noted that all drugs he takes are prescribed by a psychiatrist of some note.

Matty’s desire to clean the sink started at approximately 9:00 AM USA West Coast time. Matty confirmed that he was quite relieved that he did not allow Bagel to enter the bathroom at the time of the attempted cleaning.

To the best of his recollection, Matty started to feel confused, dizzy, disoriented and light-headed before he even began to clean the sink. Matty remembers trying to hold on to the top of the toilet, but stated that this didn’t seem “to the trick” required. Matty refused to answer any direct questions from Little Bagel, but did state that the next thing he knew he was on the floor looking at the bottom of the bathtub. Matty could hear Bagel crying and clawing at the other side of the door. Matty also made mention of a fallen towel breaking his fall which spared his head from any injury.

Upon getting up, Matty stated that he felt somewhat less normal than his normally very abnormal feeling self of late.

Matty confirmed to Bagel that he did consider phoning B or Ing for a few minutes. Tho, he felt that might be “silly over-kill”

And, after holding Bagel and listening to the comforting strain of Devendra Banhart, he started to feel better. Not quite up to “conquering the world or running a sprint down the street” but Matty confirmed he felt much better.

Before embarking on his BART journey to The City, Matty stated that he did change his clothing as he did not trust the tidiness of the bathroom floor. Matty is looking forward to a Diet Coke and the warm sunlight mingling with the sweetly sea breeze tinged air of the Bay in San Francisco. He could not remember the actual name of the bay but was fairly certain that the cause of this memory lapse and restroom tumble should all be blamed on Dane Cooke.

“In fact,” Matty added “I think all bad things should be blamed on Dane Cooke. When will the madness end!?!?!”

Bagel refused official comment, but seemed optimistic that her Daddy would have a nice day once he got out of the house. It was clear she was most appreciative that Matty had given her a piece of ice with which to lick and play.

Matty did ask that someone inform Dane Cooke that he “just better” stay out of his dreams and stay clear of his B or there will most certainly “be trouble” Bagel seemed to want to add something. At first it was believed that she was concerned that Matty was turning into Britney, Bitch. However, as it turned out, she was most likely worried that Matty would pick up the fallen towel as she was looking forward to taking a nap – or possibly even a wee on it.


…everyone should have a copy of “Cripple Crow” by Devendra Banhart. really. everyone should rush out and buy and or download it at once! …except for Dane Cooke who should just stop it. Matty was heard screaming, “Dane Cooke! Just go away! You’re not wanted here! And, take that Jessica Simpson and her sister as well! Don’t like ’em! Don’t trust either of ’em!” Matty was then see to kick a pole and attempt a conversation with a tree. No one noticed.

January 30, 2008. Tags: , , , , , . Uncategorized. 25 comments.