You know, I met Carly Simon in Boston on Newbury Street back in 1993 (I think it was 1993) — some guy I was “dating” at that time was a real estate person and he was showing her a house on Beacon Hill. He let me meet her before he took she and her husband to see the property on the condition that I agreed to do nothing more than say “hello” — as I recall, I was only allowed to say “hello” — literally. “I will take over if anything else needs to be said and will indicate when you are to leave us.” …I also remember that he did not want me to say “goodbye” — I was just to walk away upon his instruction. Anyway, ever since I’ve been plagued by the feeling that I would never have the chance to ask her the questions I wanted to ask her. So, I figured I would just put my questions on my blog some 16 years ago.


1.  Carly, are there still clouds in your coffee?

2. Ms. Simon, are you still tired of being blonde or have you grown comfortable with it?

3. Do I really belong to you?  Or, wait, were you singing about someone else? Jeez! I feel all a-flush. I suspect you were singing about James Taylor and not a 10 year old kid. (sigh) Oh well, if you could answer that anyway, I’d greatly appreciate it.


4. Carly, did you realize that this incredibly artistic photograph that served as the cover to your LP was most erotic, mysterious and worrying to a young boy — even tho I was not in a tree and was gay?

5. Were you ever really naive?

6. Did a spy love you or was it Warren Beatty? Oh, wait. You didn’t write that song did you? Or did you? Carly, did you write the theme song for that James Bond movie or just sing it?


7. In 1983, I got into a stoned-infused debate with a member of my high school football team about whether or not that vid-clip for “You Know What to Do” was about a rape or the fantasy of rape. What’s the story with that vid-clip? How did you get it past the MTV censors?

8. Not really a question, but great sex is rather like a house on fire. That was yet another great lyric, Ms. Simon. Just have to let you know my feeling about that particular lyric.

9. Carly, was it your idea to put that killer drum solo at the end of the last song on the “Spy” lp?


10. Carly, no matter what — you always give great album cover! Always! Seriously. How involved are you involved with the LP art? That Mick Rock shot for that one you did in 1981 was awesome too!!!!

11. It’s OK, you can tell me. Was “Jesse” meant to be called “Matty”?…I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I will admit. I am so vain.

12. Why did you sing that song with John Travolta? I just don’t understand why you did that. Please explain and defend that choice?

13. Is that James Taylor you’re hanging on to on the cool cover of “Torch”?


Carly, I understand if you don’t want to answer. That’s OK. I know you’re a private person. However, it would be greatly appreciated if you could. Just type the answers (in full) in the comment section below or give me a call. You know the number.

love and kisses,


July 13, 2009. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 7 comments.