Robert Altman's Brewster McCloud

After enjoying Dim Sum, we returned home. I decided to watch Robert Altman’s BREWSTER MCCLOUD. A film I had seen on late night TV when I was pretty young. The “story” takes place in Houston — most specifically in the Astrodome which must have been fairly new/cool for 1970. As a child, I did not grasp all of the sociopolitical “jokes” or much of anything other than there was a lady in it who was a sort of bird and a small guy who just wanted to fly.

Watching it today, the movie is so very dated and oddly simplistic for Robert Altman. Blame it on the thudding end to the 1960’s and drugs. But, the idea of watching Bud Cort wanting to be a bird still struck me.

After the DVD was over I walked outside and let the cool San Francisco breeze rush through my hair. The fog had been burned out by the sun. It was beautiful. I could hear the seagulls’ calls coming from the beach down the way. I closed my eyes and imagined that I was flying free and easy. Away and above all the mess that waits down here on the troubled ground.

July 10, 2011. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 7 comments.

Getting Back Into Life…

Patti Smith & Sam Sheppard

Therapy has continued onward. 3 times a week and a new psychiatrist who has up’d my anti-depressant. I had a required surgical procedure that went fine but that pulled me further down.

My blues continue, but to trigger my way out I need to get back into the nature of living.

My world has become an isolated bubble. I’ve found myself in a place of inertia. Constantly examining what is going on in my head is the way out of – or at least a way of dealing with DID. However, it can make things that should be “big” become “small” and things that should be viewed as “small” become “gigantic” — So, it is time to break free.

I aired up the tires in my bike which I had not looked at in over two years. I secured a new brain bucket for bike riding. And, I’m going to get myself back into the world. I need to connect. A structure for my day must be created.

This is one of the first steps. Returning to my blog and returning to writing.

So, I push forward. I begin to break the bubble. And, the isolation.

July 7, 2011. Uncategorized. 3 comments.