Indie critics pretty much slammed this CD which Devendra Banhart released this past fall. My understanding from what I read was that many felt he was trying too hard to push into the area of commercial pop. So, when I finally heard the CD I was left to scratch my head trying to understand why critics would take this view point. In many ways, this CD is less commercial than his previous release. There is a rather filtered feel to the music on “What Will Be” — to borrow a word from one of his new songs — the music, at times, feels a bit muddy and murky. But this is not a negative thing. There is something so oddly dense and warm about this music. It sort of makes me want to pull up a blanket and just create a sort of sonic cocoon as it plays. Bums me out that it doesn’t seem to be getting the attention I think it deserves.

There seems to be so much re-hash and crap out there right now. It is so refreshing to hear something with a newly fused energy. Not at all commercial pop, but it deserves to reach the commercially successful level. I guess it won’t. But, sometimes, it is cooler when you find some music that feels more like just your own. …Your personal discovery. A sort of musical treasure.

Life continues to throw curve balls. I manage to dodge most of them. Sadly, I end up catching a few. Worse yet, I’ve been hit in the head by a couple. But, one must push forward. Especially when one finds one self using lame/cliche sport metaphor — and one knows nothing of sport.

I wish therapy days did not fill me with such dread and drain me of so much energy. I am told “we” are making exceptional progress. Yet, it feels like it is getting worse before it gets better. It is a feeling. I suppose it is not truth, but feelings are what I run on — so it can get quite grim from time to time.

However, then, something perfect will happen. I’ll see a surfer catch a wave with perfect balance and grace. Or, my lover will kiss me in that way that only he can. Or, I will hear an artist hit that one note that fills my heart with joy. …Or, I will catch a glimpse of what makes the struggle of life so brilliant.

And, it is in these moments of pure hope that I find the strength to keep pushing forward.

December 9, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . Uncategorized.


  1. joe replied:

    that last part is so beautiful. I try not to forget the beautiful things in life, the little things and the big things that can make being alive so wonderful… even though I still cry in my sleep, and my heart hardens from the slings and arrows of being alone. you make me happy to know you.

  2. matty03 replied:

    Joe — Me, too. I’m so very happy to know you. It is heart breaking to know you find yourself crying in your sleep. I hope you will embrace the magic that is you. And, do whatever it takes to bring you on the path toward happiness. Tho, I often think that “happiness” is a fleeting emotion. …Like most. It is the one emotion that should be pursed the most.

    Of course, I’m one to talk and offer this sort of advice.

  3. anita replied:

    Gosh, that was sooo well written Matty! I think your therapist is correct about the progress because I see it in the quality and style of your written words. Caught me completely. Thanks for putting the up the Utube on the album you liked. I love the quality of the guys voice and the music and lyrics crept up on me, and I liked that too. Me thinks you have made a good discovery in this group. I bet we hear more from them. The critics can take it only so far, and what people like is the one that wins.

  4. The Sagittarian replied:

    Just wanted to wish you and B and Bagel and Lola all the very best for Xmas and New Year.

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