The reaction was perfectly correct and brave, but I suspect the emotional response she discovered was quite unexpected.

I was driving down Geary Blvd and had stopped at a red light when I heard a woman screaming at the top of her lungs:

“What are you doing? Why are you in my car? Get the fuck out of my car! Get out! Help!”

I turned on the emergency blinkers and opened my car door. The woman was standing by the driver’s door of her BMW and a scary looking bum was sitting in the driver’s seat.

“Do you need help?” I called, now standing halfway out of our car. She looked my way, but quickly turned back to the intruder waiting inside her car.

“I said get the fuck out of my car! What in the hell do you think you’re doing! Get out! Now!”
At this point she was screeching.

The bum slowly stepped out of her car. Once out, he didn’t look so scary. He looked frail and confused. He looked at her, shrugged his shoulders, muttered what I think was some form of apology and headed his way down the boulevard.

I watched the woman watching the bum as he limped away. She leaned against her car clutching her keys and cell phone. Another women had rushed to her. She had only been away from her car for a few minutes and had left it unlocked with the windows down. She had started to cry and climbed into the car. She covered her face sobbing. The other woman walked away.

I got back in my car. I had missed the light change, but no one was honking. I think we were all watching.

As I waited for the light to turn back to green, I glanced back at the person who had just been violated. She looked back at me for a quick minute. I was expecting to see a sign of relief or horror. Instead, I think she gave me a look of exhausted guilt. I smiled at her. She turned and just looked ahead. A few minutes later I was sitting on the beach watching the waves and surfers. I was thinking about what I had just seen.

A man with a dog and a stolen shopping cart trudged toward me and asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one. He then asked for a light and I explained that I didn’t think we could get a light with all the ocean wind. He took my lighter and lit two cigarettes and handed my lighter and one cigarette back to me.

I thanked him.

“No problem, dude. By the way, them are some magic shoes you’re wearin’. Have a cool day.”

And, he and his dog pushed through the sand with the cart.

I pushed my magic shoes into the sand and waited for the dizziness to fade away.

September 19, 2008. Uncategorized.


  1. Pants replied:

    It’s all about the magic shoes!

  2. hot-lunch replied:

    if u click ’em 3 times, do they bring you home? that’d be an excellent way to travel, i think.

  3. matty03 replied:

    Pants! I guess so. It’s just that they have gotten so bang’d up over the last year. Still. Most comfortable.

    Hot Lunch! Wouldn’t that be an awesome way to travel?!?! But, sorry to say nothing much happens when I click them three times excepting I tend to break out in song which gets me stares.

  4. javabear replied:

    Very interesting tableau you describe there with the bum in the woman’s car. And how interesting her reaction, before but especially after.

    Magic shoes. Or a magic guy wearing the shoes?

  5. ing replied:

    Change is in the air. . .

  6. joe replied:

    cigarettes lit in the ocean wind. strangely, that’s kinda romantic in a california sorta way. Maybe he was trying to light your fire. 🙂

  7. Walter Briski, Jr. replied:

    what shoes were you wearing?
    the pair from goldfrapp black cherry album cover?

  8. Red Flashlight replied:

    Holy cow. What a great story! I got here by clicking through your comment on Pants. Good luck, keep writing, push on.

  9. The Sagittarian replied:

    I guess it takes all sorts eh? I’m not sure that would happen over here, they would probably have hotwired the thing and be gone before you could click your heels together once let alone 3 times!! 🙂

  10. Steve Rebooted replied:

    Geez! Poor woman an poor confused, bum. Years ago, I had a prostitute get into my car when I was waiting at a red light. She tried to go down on me as I was pushing her outta my car.

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