trying not to float away

getting better
adjusting to this floating bubble of a feeling
stomach wanting for more
my pockets are empty
but, my heart is full of love
and this simple fact is more power(full)
than any pain
i close my eyes
and try to pull myself to the ground
…to the earth

April 24, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized.


  1. walter J. Briski, Jr. replied:

    i love it.
    and i think i will steal one of your lines to use it on myspace and credit you for that.
    i love you babecakes.
    maybe, after i am done with my green card, and if i do have the nerve to move to san francisco… i think we are going to be best pals.
    and THAT would make me happy.

  2. ing replied:

    I’m so happy you’re moving to SF! See you tomorrow night. . .

  3. Java replied:

    Hang on a sec. Did I miss something? Are you guys moving to Gay Central? You’ve been sketchy on details of late.

    It is good that you’ve got a string connected to your head there. Is the string the power of love?

  4. Pants replied:

    Empty pockets with a heart full of love? Sounds good to me!

  5. Steve Rebooted replied:

    I’m sorry things aren’t the best for you. Believe me, I know that numb feeling, all too well. However, I’m so happy that you’re in love 🙂

  6. Old Cheeser replied:

    Good stuff. One day you will have to publish a Matty anthology. And I will be queuing for my autographed copy!

  7. Dessie replied:

    Honey you need to fill me in. The thing on the bottom right, above Earth:


    A helicopter?

    Knitting needles?

    Enquiring minds want to know!

  8. Karyn replied:

    Man, how I love your self portraits. I still have Christmas cards from you — or their envelopes in a few cases — because they had those faces on them. ❤

    Love you Matty. Wish I could help, but hope that it is enough that I (kind of) understand.

  9. matty03 replied:

    Walter! “steal” all you want! Yes, You must bring yourself and your art to San Francisco!!! You must!

  10. matty03 replied:

    Ing! Yay! …and, yes i saw you that night! No one can say we have dull times together! Oh, my goodness!

  11. matty03 replied:

    Java! Yes, we are returning to GayTown! Sooner than later I hope! I’m sorry! I owe you a couple of emails!!! I’m ok. Yes, I think that the string just might be made of love! I’m really quite blessed!

    Steve! I’m glad someone else understands that odd feeling! I’m so tired of it, but I have my B who wateches out for me! …and, there is so much love. It keeps me going!

    Cool Old Cheeser! lol! Well, if I ever write it and if anyone should publish it — it is good to know that someone will want to purchase and read it!

  12. matty03 replied:

    Dessie! I brought you up to date and you did me! That IS meant to be my illustration of sushi and chop sticks! You’re so clever to be able to read my drawing! Cryptic at best!

  13. matty03 replied:

    Karyn! Yes, that is more than enough! Keep sending me those good thoughts! My xmas cards! LOL!

  14. Sagitarrian replied:

    Oh cool picture! I like stick-figures, you have done well. Great pome too!

  15. christian replied:

    oh matty… another great writing. excellent visual journal entry. i agree with walter (who is a delight)… we could (all) totally be great pals… just on virtue of diverse tastes in music ALONE.

    enjoying your blog as always and glad to hear you are moving to SF. totally understand based on your last email.


  16. ing replied:

    And yet you manage to be my rock. . .

  17. Brian Finch replied:

    I think I’ve been feeling like your poem quite a bit lately.


  18. Robert replied:

    Matty getting better… I like that, lots!

  19. hot lunch replied:

    greetings from the Orient, Matty!! Hope u are doing okay, just wanted to say hello!

  20. Daniel replied:

    I hope you feel better soon, love.

  21. matty03 replied:

    Sagitarrian! Thank you!!!! I like stick figures, too! I’m working on losing enough weight to be one again!!!

    Christian! Oh, yeah! We would have such fun discussing music and hanging out! SF move will be coming soon. Just trying to figure it all out!

    Ing! I think we serve as “rock” for each other!

  22. matty03 replied:

    Brian! …Oh, it is not a good feeling — that horrible sensation that you could float adrift at any moment. But, we must hang on. It has to just get better! (sometimes it feels like it can’t get any worse) …love, kisses and hug to you.

  23. matty03 replied:

    Robert! Yes! Thank you! I like it, too. Just wish it were a much faster process. Sometimes it feels that progress is just so very fucking slow! ugh!

    Hot Lunch!!!!! Wow! I’m so very jealous! Can’t wait to hear of your adventures!!!

    Daniel, Oh, thank you! Sending love and tight bear hug your way!

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