i thought i was dying
i held you tight
so tight it must have hurt

and now
sitting alone
catching my pulse
i close myself into a fist

pulling the fire into my lungs
i know i am not alone
i know i am not dying
but, i am so weary

like “they” say —
fact is so much stranger than fiction

April 2, 2008. Uncategorized.


  1. Steve Rebooted replied:

    I’m sorry things aren’t great. But the way you expressed it, is absolutely beautiful.

  2. Pants replied:

    I just hugged you…did you feel it?

  3. ing replied:

    Fact is so much tougher to manage than fiction, but fiction gets us through it, yeah? (Helps me, anyway.)

  4. pakipoptart replied:

    You’ve definitely been on my mind. Wondering is he ok? Is he making progress? I hope, I hope, I hope…

  5. The sagittarian replied:

    “closed myself up like a fist” – very very nice! I do believe this is progress, buddy boy!! 🙂

  6. matty03 replied:

    Steve – You know, things are better. But, as you know, some days (and nights) are tougher than others. Thank you for the sweet compliment.

  7. matty03 replied:

    Pants – I think I did! I can use all the hugs I can get! Sending one back to you right now. Hope you caught it.

  8. matty03 replied:

    Ing – Yes. I understand what you mean. I think music gets me through things more than anything, really. I guess that is fiction in some ways. Tho, I find a great deal of truth in it. Same idea, tho. I should think.

  9. matty03 replied:

    pakipoptart – Thank you, sweetie. Yeah, I am making progress. It appears to be such a slow train of a journey, tho. But, make the journey I shall! And, will be all the stronger for it.

    The Sagittarian – I’m glad you caught that. Yeah, I’m fighting back to pull myself back to me, my loved ones and my life. I am getting there. But, that night, it felt like I was dying. Scary feeling.

  10. johnmichael replied:

    Big hug buddy!

  11. matty03 replied:

    johnmichael – Thank you — kisses from O-town.

  12. The sagittarian replied:

    Self trust Matty, and being kind to yourself. You will get through this, you have so much ahead of you not to!! 🙂

  13. pakipoptart replied:

    Matty! I’m so happy to hear this! Actually I didn’t think the poem was completely sad. I felt there was a lot of hope in the struggle from reading it. Also thank you for the sweet comment you left on my blog! ( :

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: