As I sorted and folded thoughts — my mind began to wander all about. I brewed some tea and sat in my green chair and tried to sort my thoughts the same way I had worked the socks. However, much like our sock collection — several thoughts failed to match up with others, more than a few had holes, one seemed to have some dried paste stuck to the bottom and a couple had faded away to thin fabrics from my mind’s Third Eye.

I decided to jot a few of these thoughts down in my note journal. Tried as hard as could, but these thoughts remain unsorted. These are the thoughts most in need of another to form a pair:

* I feel sad that so few people seem to realize the power, beauty and depth of Greta Garbo. I don’t mean just that face which seemed to glow in the dark shots of cinema. There was so much more — the timbre and grace of that voice that managed to be both warm and distant at once. Unsure and steady at the same time. And, the grace that moved from frame to frame as if without thought — and the grace of the woman who opted out of the Hollywood Machine forever cementing a sort of mystery of what was and left us wanting for more — and wondering what that more might have produced. Movie magic we will never know again.

**My legs are starting to ache almost as much as my heart.

***Why do some people want to hold others up to a standard to which they fail to even hold themselves? And, why are they so unable to notice that they do this?

****Art is so subjective and yet so political in reaction(s)

*****Time seems to go by way too fast and way too slow — at the same time. It didn’t always feel that way.

******I really can’t stand Tom Hanks. I don’t even know why, but he sort of makes my skin crawl. “…Run Forrest! Run!”

*******I saw a film from Thailand that gave me a sort of sucker-punch. I need to watch it once more and write about it. I don’t think enough people have seen it. …Like my stupid blog will help. Yeah, well. Whatever. lol.

********I hold birds suspect.

*********Sometimes the very touch of B can make me feel OK.

**********I miss weed so much it hurts. I dream about it. And, right now, those are the only nice dreams I have. How funny. …nice dreams. …I just thought of that! I used to love that movie! I doubt I would now, tho.

***********I never thought, at 41, that I’d be so worried about money that $10 seems like a lot of money. Being this broke is not cool.

************Sometimes I just feel so desperate I don’t know what to do. And, then music saves me.

**************As bad as things feel sometimes as of late, I never thought I would make it to this age. I guess I’m beating my odds. Not too bad.

***************And, it is a blessing and grace to be loved as much as I am.

*****************I never seem to have enough of anything. I always seem to need more. I just want everything!

Put the pen down and fold the undershirts.

Listening to this as I composed this post: …I think it seems to get better with age.

February 24, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized.


  1. ing replied:

    I don’t like Tom Hanks, either! I can’t figure out what it is, exactly, but there’s something about the roles he gets. Maybe it’s because his characters are always 100% sympathetic in the end, which doesn’t seem realistic.

    And because real people are not 100% sympathetic, they hold others to standards to which they don’t hold themselves. They can’t recognize their own imperfections (the things that make them less likeable in the particular but much more likeable in the general sense). But they can easily recognize imperfections in others. This tendency to recognize imperfection in others is not, paradoxically, a likeable trait.


  2. Java replied:

    Hey honey. I’ve had a bad day myself.
    Funny you should mention Tom Hanks. I just watched Terminal this evening. I mostly like Tom Hanks’ movies. But he looks funny. Tom Cruise and John Travolta, however, make my skin crawl. Haven’t seen Hairspray yet. I might like Travolta in drag better.

  3. Miss S replied:

    Ditto on Tom Hanks. Maybe it is because he is such a goody two shoes. I saw him on The Oscars tonight and cringed immediately when I heard his “better than though” voice. I don’t know. Leave it to Tom Hanks and Bono to point out all the injustice of the world.

    I believe all art is political.

    I want people to live up to my standards. I have pretty high standards, and I don’t like to disappoint people. I hate being disappointed. But, I guess I’m the worst offender. I fail all the time…

    I miss weed all the time, too, but then I remember it makes me paranoid and also, it makes me vomit. It’s not fun to vomit, no not at all. So, then I don’t miss it so much.

    I’m rambling. I miss you. Sorry I was such a sad sap the other day. Lot’s of dumb stuff on my mind. Take care.

  4. matty replied:

    Ing! I think I dislike Tom Hanks due to the vast mediocrity of his work. And, I look at him and I just think “bland” — which he can’t control. But, there are some movie stars I just don’t enjoy watching. He is one.

  5. matty replied:

    Java! …but, remember when John Travolta used to be hot? …when he was a stooopid sweathog or in the 80’s when he worked out in those mini shorts and forgot his underwear to “wooo” Jamie Lee Curtis in PERFECT!?!? Yummmmmmy!

    …I didn’t care for the musical version of HAIRSPRAY. I tried. And, I Travolta was annoying. What WAS that accent?!!?!?

  6. matty replied:

    Miss S! I think we all need the space to feel sad and the need to drain our sorrows. No matter what they are.

    Tom Hanks! I just think of deflated softballs and women forced into lame fish suits. SPLASH!

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