I couldn’t wake from my drug-induced stupor to go with B to bring our little Bagel to the vet this morning. In a way, I’m glad. I know that this operation is performed every day on thousands of puppies and kittens, but I’m worried for Bagel. She is being “fixed” today. We will not be able to pick her up until tomorrow. …The apartment is not the same without her. It has been less than an hour and I miss her.

Two independent doctors have been located! The hope is that actual therapy will help me out of this Post-Traumatic Disorder hole of an episode. I think it will. Both doctors are in The Castro. And, one will be able to take a look at my current meds and give me a second opinion. Fingers crossed! I meet with both next week! As always, B is my hero! He screened a lot of doctors for me.

Yesterday, I finally saw Clair Denis’ much discussed and seemingly hated film, TROUBLE EVERY DAY. I suppose one can view this film as subversion of film genre. A film about the dynamics of gender dynamics or sexual repression or fear of stigma created by AIDS disguised as a horror film. I found this film to be quite flawed. It didn’t work for me. There was almost no dialog — an intentional artistic decision on the part of director, Claire Denis. I felt this was an interesting idea in theory, but the actors she chose were not strong enough to convey any level of character development. Far too wooden. Beatrice Dalle was quite effective — but only on the horror level. Her character already too deteriorated to understand how she became the creature locked away in the attic by her worried husband. Another interesting symbolic device by Denis. The moments of the film which did work were the moments of erotic horror. However, these cinematic moments were effective because of the way the somber silences would be broken so quickly and without much warning. The savagery of the violence was quick, cruel and too heavy to make for an effective symbolic gesture. Or, maybe this was all a part of Claire Denis’ plan. She is certainly an accomplished film maker. As one of an all-too-few population of successful female film directors I was disappointed to see her waste her name on an film experiment of this sort. I’m all for rattling the cages and pushing the envelopes. However, it can be pointless to rattle those cages so much or pushing the envelope on to the floor so far that no one will look or pay attention. This film goes too far for an intellectual art house film crowd and not far enough for the gross-out horror film crowd. Or, rather, the violence is laced with far too much in between to hold the interest of the horror genre crowd. This film isn’t so much scary or disturbing as it is just plain mean.

The one really positive thing I can say about the movie is the score by Tindersticks. However, I’d skip the soundtrack and jump to the LP that came out the same year as the film: “Can Our Love…” — Tindersticks makes me think of Leonard Cohen gone more low rent. I do love this CD. Never mind the silly joke of a photo on the cover, the music is sad and rather rag-tag-beautiful. The vid-clip created for the song “Can Our Love” actually manages to say more in four minutes than Clair Denis conveys in 90 minutes of footage with TROUBLE EVERY DAY. …Relationships are tough, but are well worth it — if there is love. Can our love? Yes, I think so.

Horror shows are not needed or wanted.

Still. I had been hearing about this film for years. So, it was cool to finally see what was being discussed.

Just heard from B. Bagel will be going in for her surgery at 1pm. We can pick her up tonight, but would have to make sure she doesn’t move much at all for the night. Am sort of thinking we should just let them take care of her tonight, but B and I are going to talk about it later today and decide.

Poor little Bagel.


February 8, 2008. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized.


  1. johnmichael replied:

    Hi, I’ll keep Bagel in my thoughts and prayers that she recover without a hitch.

  2. Pants replied:

    Poor little Bagel! I’m sure she will be fine but I know it’s scary.

    Hooray for B screening doctors for you! I know how hard it can be to do that when you’re down.

  3. Java replied:

    Poor Bagel! Poor Matty! I hope she’s OK. You know she probably will be, if that helps.

    It’s great that you have 2 docs to see next week! I have high hopes for some effective treatment for you. Take care of yourself, Matty.

  4. ing replied:

    Bagel will be fine, I promise. Little dogs pull through this operation with flying colors, always. She will be sleepy for a little bit, and after she’s had a well-deserved rest, she’ll be the same as she always was.

    (i.e., “licky.”)

  5. ing replied:

    P.S. What’s so silly about that Tindersticks art? I think it’s cute!

  6. Una Persona replied:

    I keep telling you to stop posting pics of that dog. I’m going to dognap, no lie!

  7. matty replied:

    Hi! Bagel is doing well! The first night just sucked, but now she is starting to return to her old self. I think she is actually enjoying the fact that I have to hand feed her — she has the smallest cone, but it totally swallows her so she can’t get to food.

    And, yes! Yay! Real doctors this week! I just dread the first appointment(s) where you have to review everything. But, it just might be the key to getting me out of this hole!

    johnmichael! …thank you! You know, they really do feel like a member of the family!

    Pants! I know! But, she is kind of cute in her cone. Sad, but cute. I will be posting some pictures and a complete report soon!

    Java! Yes! Thank you! I can’t wait to read of your adventures on the great seas!!!!

    Ing! I know, but I worry! It’s not that I think that the picture on the Tindersticks cover is “silly” I guess I just don’t like the implication with the title. The title song is really quite lovely. Have you heard it?

    Steve! LOL! Well, I figure when you break in to take her I can stop you and actually meet you! LOL!

  8. hot-lunch replied:

    good luck to Bagel and to you next week!! 🙂

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