Welcome to my world as of January 15th 2008! Let’s see… I was unable to fall asleep until 2am this morning. I woke up at 5:39am to take my meds. I opted to not eat with them as I’m now dedicated to shedding some add’d med weight! Which meant that I became more dizzy than usual. As I attempted to prepare to climb the stairs to the safety of the bed, B told me that Bagel pissed the bed.

Now, I’m not sure — but I think B became annoyed that I was unable to assist in the cleaning of the mattress and pulling off of bed sheets. I was just too dizzy. I remember asking him if he could put Bagel in her crate when he left for work so I could sleep. I heard him say he would and I fell into the sofa. At about 7:50am I woke up with a tiny dog bouncing all over me, barking and licking my face. I put her on the floor several times only to find her bouncing and barking on me within seconds of having replaced her to the floor. Bagel was not going to let me sleep. So, I feel out of the sofa.

B somehow managed to sort of destroy the apartment as he prep’d for work. Granted, tho, it is a big day at the office. …Client pitches and the such. But, man o man! And, of course, without supervision, Bagel had found her way into a kleenex box and had decided to destroy it — all over the span of the apartment. I trip’d my way to the bathroom and splashed my face with a lot of cold water. I put on the incredibly pristine copy of the soundtrack of FUNNY GIRL I had found for $2! And, I began the task of stripping the bed, cleaning up the mess(es) — I drank some Diet Coke and as Bagel danced beneath my feet I decided to kick in to a full karaoke-type sing-a-long with Barbra! I sang my heart out — no one was going to rain on my parade! …at least not with this sort of vocal gusto! Bagel ran under the sofa, I trip’d on one of her chew toys and fell on a purple plush doggie toy. I was now out for the count. Someone somewhere had sounded the gong. This has been my morning so far. It is 9am as I type this. I can only imagine what fresh hell might await me today.

I figure I must have done something bad in my past life and I’m paying off some bad karma. I figure it was bad but not horrible. You see, I will beat this shit. I will rise above it and get my life back. I know that. I am not fighting some horrible disease. I have a fantastic, loving, sexy — tho, somewhat messy, husband who fails to put the puppy in her “safe place” so I can catch up on my sleep — but he is my everything and I love my puppy! I have great friends who are my family. I’m going to be OK.

But, man. I sure seem to go thru a lot of shit to get to that OK space.

So, I figure I might have been Hitler’s valet or butler. You know. I didn’t do any of the actual bad stuff. I just ironed the most evil man in history’s shirts. I worry that I might have been Hitler’s butt boy… I figure serving Hitler’s sexual pleasures was enough to cause me to suffer thru all this crap. If only I had killed the bastard instead of ironing his shirts or doing other butt boy things. Then the karma pay back could have been the motherload of riches. Tho, killing is always a negative in the karmatic laws of nature.

Sometimes it is easier to imagine silly scenarios to laugh versus crying.

“..I’ll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn’t make it
Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!”
I just hope I don’t get lost or too confused as I push my way thru my parade today! I don’t want to fall down and spill the popcorn again!

January 15, 2008. Uncategorized.


  1. Dessie replied:

    Butt Boys In Space?

    I have no words.

  2. matty03 replied:

    Dessie — Well, it was my one and only turn in gay porn art world. It is quite artistic and my scene has a great deal of artistic merit! I don’t know why they didn’t put me on the box?!?! I mean, I was the only model willing to work with that cattle prod! That should count for something!

  3. Steve replied:

    Yes! You are going to be alright. You need to play the Mary Tyler Moore Theme song when you wake up each morning 😛

  4. matty03 replied:

    Steve! Thanks! You know I used to try that, but whenever I tossed my hat the world kept going and I couldn’t get a freeze frame. …and then a cop yelled at me for being in the middle of traffic! I would get tickets and lose my hat!

  5. ing replied:

    Sounds like a morning from hell. But you did the right thing, playing your new rekkid, and your sweet, adorable dog went back to a safe place. I know it probably wasn’t funny at the time, but I like how you tell it in such a funny way. That’s a good sign.

  6. hot lunch replied:

    Your outlook and humour and positivity shines through and inspires me.

  7. Anita replied:

    OK, that was pretty funny the way you told it; but, I know it wasn’t! You go kid, cause that is the way to win!

    So, let’s see, tomorrow a.m. when you take your med.’s you will eat a little small bit cause that won’t cause weight gain–right? and, it helps the liver absorb meds without harm and you won’t fall on top of Bagel!
    Much Love and Good Wishes coming your way!

  8. Pants replied:

    Puppies are so cute but also soooooooo naughty! I hope the day got better.

  9. matty03 replied:

    Ing! Oh, I hope I never lose my sense of humor or we’re in real trouble! Tho, I guess I have lost that more than a couple of times in the last couple of months.

    Hot Lunch! Awwwww, thank you!

    Anita! Thank you — sending lots of love and positive vibes your way too! I did just that, but it left me feeling much more drug’d than per usual. I don’t care. As long as I’m thinner!

  10. matty03 replied:

    Pants! You are so right! My day did get better, but poor little Bagel was just a bad girl all the way into 3am this morning! She’s been in the dog house – so to speak. LOL!

  11. javabear replied:

    Well, Matty, you may be going through some shit, but you are able to write about it, and I think you handle it in a most healthy way. Good choices, buddy.

  12. matty03 replied:

    javabear — thank you. i know it seems odd, but it makes me feel better to read your comment.

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