MADONNA AND ESCALATORS…

I was starting my daily walk — you know, the one where I am supposed to try and walk two to three miles, but I am not feeling so hot today. Sleep was troubled and I’m just feeling a bit sick. I guess. I don’t know. Anyway, I wasn’t up for the walk, but I decided to walk to BART, have the Subway 6 inch sandwich of the day, a huge Diet Coke and at least walk a few blocks on this sunny day in San Francisco. I plugged my iPod into my brain. Yes, I can now hook it directly into my brain for maximum listening pleasure!

Anyway, I selected Madonna’s American Life CD as my music of the day. Now, critics and many people I know tore this one down. However, I’ve always liked it. But, I must confess I had not paid too much attention to the lyrics. I enjoy all the sounds and beats she and her producer created for it. This morning I paid attention to the lyrics and it struck me how we can work all our lives toward a goal of some form of success within the scheme of the American Dream (which is just that) and even reach it — but the bottom line is we all want love and are still stuck in the miseries of our childhood (if we were unlucky enough to have misery) —- this seems, to me, to be what much of Madonna’s LP is about.

And, that lame rap? Well, maybe it is meant to be lame. Maybe it is meant to be vapid and insipid as cultures are co-opt’d. Well, I think I’m trying to give Madge “a save” here — I think the rap is just lame and one has to fight from not laughing or rolling of the eyes. However, I think I shall pretend that it intended to be this way. Or in Madonna’s head — “ironic” — it rather fits the tone of the song which critiques our culture’s obsession with doing what ever is required to “make it” — even rap.

Still, I must remind myself that Madonna is close with pals with Gweneth Paltrow who once posed for Esprit and told them that the one thing she would do to change the world would be to create an orange juice that wouldn’t taste bad after brushing your teeth. …Deep. But, man! That theme song for the James Bond movie rocks when the headphones are on and you’re trying to dodge that crazy guy on Market and Powell! Anyway, as I was thinking about the merits and possible depths of Madonna’s music I noticed that I was getting on to the escalator like an old man. I was waiting for a new grill to come up before placing a foot on the magical stairs. I finally got up the nerve to step on and noticed the very nervous business man who seemed to be in a rush to get to a meeting — running up the actual stairs. As he ran, I stood still and landed at the top a few seconds before his marathon run up the stairs. However, there were a few hurry’d folks who ran up the escalator and they beat him by at least a minute!

So — if you’re in a hurry, the best thing to do is to run up the magic stairs, uh — I mean escalator. Or, simply stand on the escalator. The stairs are slower and should only be used if you’re meant to be walking two to three miles a day.

I have yet to evaluate the merits of running down stairs vs. riding the magic stairs but I might do that one day. …Maybe when I get ’round to re-thinking Madonna’s Eroitc CD. …I don’t know. Maybe it would be better to change the taste of orange juice than cure cancer, AIDS or stop all wars. But, somehow, I doubt it. …I also would not name my child “Apple” — but, that’s just me.

I know. How very non-Esprit.

December 14, 2007. Uncategorized.

20 Comments

  1. Dessie replied:

    I agree, the rap was supposed to be angry/ironic. Think about it, Madonna has never made a false career move and she must have known what she was doing.

    We might be the only two Matty, but I loved the album also!

  2. Old Cheeser replied:

    The rap does make a certain point about a certain kind of lifestyle. The irony is that it’s the type of lifestyle Madonna lives! (All that stuff about having a maid, bodyguards etc). I think Ms Madge is suffering from the “cake and eat it” syndrome. She tries to come over as cool by critiquing the shallowness and materialism of such a lifestyle whilst actually living it! I do agree though some of the lyrics are hilarious and cringeworthy, intentional or not – “I drive a Mini Couper and I’m feeling super-duper”, anyone?

    Like you Matty I think the album is underrated – it’s certainly got its merits but critics seem to hate it. It’s just got quite a “grungy”, downbeat feel but there’s still some good toons on there. Highlights for me are “Hollywood”, “Love Profusion” (lovely sound) and “Intervention”. However there is another silly rap on “Mother and Father” where she sounds like a bloody smurf…

    What’s your fave Madge album Mr Matty?

  3. ginab replied:

    If I had a child I’d name her Margaret so I could call her Maggie and then most affectionately, to her horror, Mags. Yes, “Mags”. I love it.

    Apple would end up very rich indeed and spinning around in the centre of LPs. And she’d be green in hue. The hue of green, would be the title of her book. Under the shadow of Esprit her second book.

    All the while Mags would be screwing the town, and pumping out babies, along with iron, on the side. She’d keep her looks alright, a glint of rose about her amber, a silk of black tossed down her back.

    Apple would become terribly rich and terribly known.

    Mags would become a grandmother by age 41 and known, but not so terribly. Money would only ever be her dog’s name.

    -ginab+bb

    PS: my favorite speculation of yours here, “I have yet to evaluate the merits of running down stairs vs. riding the magic stairs…”. Got me lost on the names.

  4. matty03 replied:

    Dessie! Yeah, I’d like to think that the American Life dream was meant to be intentionally lame! And, I just know that we’re not the only two who love this CD! We can’t be! Can we!?!?!?

    …Um, you should be receiving something in the post by either this weekend or Monday!!!!

    It’s supposed to be a surprise, but I couldn’t help but mention it cuz I hope you’ll be loving it and able to sort of bounce off the clouds — well, that is a figure of the speak, but you’ll understand once you receive it, Sir Desssie!

    May I call you “Sir Dessie” from now on?!?!?! I feel the queen shall be knighting you any day!

  5. matty03 replied:

    Cool Old Cheeser! I just knew Sir Dessie and I couldn’t be alone!! Yeah, she tends to bitch about the woes of fame when it was all she wanted in the first place. You know, Barbra discusses her own issues with the woes of fame in her diva long DVD A STAR IS BORN commentary, but she says something like (and I dare not quote her! This is a paraphrase!) “…but I would not trade my fame and success for anything as it what I wanted from the start! I wanted to be known! …but it comes at a price which one must accept” or something like that.

    I guess Madge must learn to accept that price because I think her single goal was to be famous — and powerful. She said as much from the start to Dick Clark.

    …but, sadly, one can’t have her/his cake and eat it, too.

    Very few of us ever really get the cake. Most of us have to make do with some icing.

    …I’m happy to say that I have enjoyed my share of icing and it has and continues to be delicious when I’m able to get it.

    However, lately, I’ve only managed to get a piece of cookie here and there — and that cookie hasn’t even been chocolate as of late.

    But, I shall not rap about it. Tho, I might whine blog about it from time to time. It is my blog and I shall whine from time to time if I’ve a mind to!

    Wait. I’ve forgotten what I was trying to say! Cool Old Cheeser! Help me! I’ve lost my thought train!

  6. matty03 replied:

    Cool Old Cheeser! Sorry! My fave Madonna CD as of thus far? Hmmmmmm… I guess it would have to be “Like A Prayer” …that was the one that won me over to Ms. Madonna.

    You know, I must confess: I never really want to like Madonna, but she seems to be able to force me to love her. And, so I do. Like a good gay boy should.

    …and, yes. I demand to always be the boy! Even tho I’m 41…

  7. matty03 replied:

    Gina! No! I don’t think your Margaret would turn out like that at all! She’d be a high-fashion writer of the most talented. She’d cause Apple to run for cover and hide behind Esprit and be quite limited in comparison! This is what I think — were you to mother a daughter and call her “Maggie” — she would only be the best of all! Only!

    I wish the stairs were magic instead of just escalators.

    I get lost in general. Not just with names.

  8. diamondfistwerny replied:

    Whoever created an O.J. which tasted fabulous after tooth-brushing would be a millionaire! Maybe even a billionaire 😛 And I haven’t listened to song from Madonna since her Ray of Light Album. So I’m oblivious to your critique!

  9. matty03 replied:

    Mr. Diamond! True, but I still feel that there are better things one could do if the chance came to change the world.

    …sounds like someone needs to do some serious downloading and catching up with Madonna! …that deducts points from your gay card, you know!

  10. ing replied:

    I haven’t listened to Madonna since high school, and I guess I never really liked her stuff, though remember that glitter cowboy look when she went back to blonde? I think that was my favorite Madonna era, the dance-y “hey Mr. DJ” stuff.

    But back to your post, I had no idea Patty Hearst made a rap! Wow, man! I don’t know if you should be listening to Patty Hearst while trying to get on the magic stairs.
    (I do that old man thing too with negotiating the escalator stairs in fear that I will fall and break my hip, and I admit that today, I decided to sprint up the secular stairs because I’m old-fashioned that way.)

    I’ll see you tomorrow, dear. Since it’s Christmas and all, feel free to cue up the stack of Liza records you love so much, and I will bring earplugs.

  11. matty03 replied:

    Ing! That would be Madonna’s “MUSIC” CD! And, yes, love the glitter cowboy DJ thing! Actually, as you know, I like anything that mixes glitter with disco!

    Silly! Sprinting up the secular stairs may work out that fine body of yours, but it will get you no where any faster. Sprinting up the magic stairs, however, will get you up there faster, tho!

    Ok, if you’re too embarrassed to admit to your love of Liza’s art I will be your “Liza Cover” — sure, I’ll play “my” records and you can put in the ear plugs. (wink wink)

    …Patty Hearst rap? Was there a type-0? Color me confused.

  12. Dessie replied:

    Oh Matty I said you mustn’t spend your money – you naughty naughty boy!!!

  13. ing replied:

    Isn’t that Patty Hearst up there on your blog trying to look and sound like Madonna, or am I the confused one? Because it looks like Patty Hearst to me. . .

  14. ing replied:

    p.s. Okay, I will “listen” to “my” Liza records and I will “clap” and “dance” and “sing at the top of my lungs” like “I” always do when “I” play “my” Liza records on “my” record player that I “store” at your place, while “you” try to block it out with earplugs. And I will find that Liza DVD (ah, yes, now I remember, it was called Liza With A Z) that I also “store” at your place, and, as “I” always do, “I” will prove that “I” have the whole thing memorized by “mouthing along” and “gesturing” and “singing into an invisible microphone”. Yes, that’s exactly how it will happen, yessssssssss.

  15. matty03 replied:

    Dessie! I’m not naughty. …I’m just drawn that way.

  16. matty03 replied:

    Ing! Oh, I get the whole Patty Hearst mention! Yes, that is Madonna trying to pose like some cross between Patty and Che. I think. Not sure.

    And, yes! That sounds much more like it! Can’t wait to see “you” perform!

  17. Old Cheeser replied:

    Like A Prayer! Yaaaay! I am in agreement there, probably one of her best albums. Some excellent tracks which manage to be mature and accessible at the same time.

    I know what you mean about the Madonna forcing us to like her thing. It’s a gay cliche to be into her, but somehow us fags just can’t help ourselves…

    And as for Queen Madge looking like Patty Hearst, true enough, but personally I think she resembles Wolfie from “Citizen Smith”. Try Googling that one if you don’t know what the hell I’m on about.

  18. hot lunch replied:

    Hi Matty!

    As you know, I love love love Madonna, and American Life is sadly, not one of my favourite albums from her. Though, I do like the songs Mother and Father, as well as Intervention. I just felt there was a lot of filler on that album, I suppose. I liked how you interpreted her rap though. I never thought of it that way! Everytime I go over to my friend’s place however, I always request he make me a soy latte, with a double shotte, so I can be satisfied.

    It’s too bad she pulled the video, as it probably would have given her more to work with if it had been released. It’s quite good for a video that no one has really seen: http://youtube.com/watch?v=R55xDxaXw5E

  19. pakipoptart replied:

    Matty this album has polarized the gay community. Where some really hate this album. I actually like it, especially the second half of the album. I have actually argued with people that it isn’t such a bad album. I will say that I’m not too crazy about her new songs that have leaked on the internets.

  20. matty03 replied:

    Cool Old Cheeser! Well, who would have thought that Madonna was going for a Citizen Smith look!?!??! Quite interesting!

    Hot Lunch! I think we all get an appreciation from a soy latte. …Not really. Diet Coke pour moi! Thanks for the link to the original vid clip! I quite agree! Tho, I do so enjoy this CD. I’m a bit worried about her new one. Not really liking what I’m hearing so far. But, I think we have till spring of 2008 till we actually hear the true results.

    pakipoptart! I agree about the new songs as I just shared with Hot Lunch. I don’t ever argue with anyone about art — if everyone liked the same thing all the time it would get so dull. But, I think everyone is JUST TOTALLY INCORRECT — THIS CD RULES! lol! kisses!

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