FANTASY ME

Well, 2007 is close to an end.

I feel that one of the most important things with which to close the year is my Magical Eyes Of Laura Mars sno-globe!

It knows all.
…nothing says late 70’s fashion like over-turned cars in Washington Square with models beating each other up while wearing fur and panties! Anyway, just ask your question, shake the sno-globe and the kinky Faye Dunaway disco fashion knowledge will guide you! Everyone should have one. It has already advised Ing on her dating life!

But, and perhaps this is the most important thing — a friend in NYC, Mr. W — created 3 Avatars for me! They don’t really look like me as much as they feel like me.

..they are the fantasy me in Avatar form! Tho, I guess that is what an “Avatar” is ?!?!? I only wear flare-led’d jeans, but the rest of the outfits are close. And, I do like the shoes and Bagel looks really cute, tho a bit too big.
However, I’ve not worn a scarf since I left Boston. And, I can only wish I had that much hair. But, it is a fantasy. Oh, and, for now — I’m sporting a beard! Full-on beard, babies! I think it is coming off tomorrow morning.

It is neat-O having someone create an Avatar of you! Sort of like having someone write a song or poem about you. …Only not.

And, finally, what better way to bring a close to 2007 than to share a new picture of our baby girl, Bagel. Here she is chillin’ on her electrically heated pad which she loves on a cold day! I woke her from a nap for this shot, but she was too damn cute to allow her to sleep!

Let’s hope 2008 brings us all more hope, love and peace. I think it can only get better! …Or, at least this is my hope! I just shook the Magical Laura Mars Sno-Globe and it gave me a rather uncertain answer, but I’m ignoring it. I am forging into 2008 with the best attitude I can muster! It’s what Laura Mars would do! …Oh, by the way, this is the appropriate pose one should always strike when taking a photograph. Please adopt this approach as you go forward with your photographing adventures. Already, this is how me, Ing and Miss S take our pictures! The results are just amazing!

Happy New Year, Kids!

December 31, 2007. Uncategorized. 16 comments.

CONFESSIONS OF A MUSIC JUNKIE

As of Christmas Day B is off for a full two weeks! It’s really cool! We can both stay up late, sleep late, go for drives, walks, play with Bagel, take in a movie or just sort of chill out together! We’re closing in on the end of the first week and had our first minor “argument” — well, it wasn’t so much an argument as a rather aggressive observation from B about myself.

Yes, as much as it might shock a few of you — I’m not perfect. However, I can assure everyone: I always smell really nice. Anyway, I was in the mood for a bit of Thelonious Monk so I plugged the iPod into B’s handy iPod-ready Element when he turned the volume down to an inaudible level and announced that he needed a break from my endless reign of streaming music and that in the two years we have been together he has not had more than an hour without music of one form or another blaring. Well, he is exaggerating just a bit there. I’d venture to say that B has had at least 3 or 4 hours of home time without music when I’ve been out with a friend or sleeping late while he tinkers about with some computer thing that is far beyond my limited mental capacity.

But, the truth is I am never really without music.

Part of the problem is that quiet is loud to me. I have that thing where there is a constant sort of ringing in my ears. It has been that way as far back as I can remember. If it is too quiet it feels like my head might cave in or I get a migraine. But, one doesn’t have to have music to mask that — in fact, any sound saves one from the insanity that this condition can bring. The tick of a clock will even work. I just prefer music and lots of it.

Truth is — I’m a bit of an addict. A junkie, really. If one could mainline music into the blood I’m quite sure I would have tried it by now. Yes, I’m telling the world — or the part of the world that might be seeing this blog: I’m addicted to music. The problem is that I don’t want to change or correct this about myself. They say the first step to recovery for an addict is to admit that he/she has a problem. Well, I can admit it but I don’t really care.

So, tonight we have to find a connector so that we can wire headphone from the stereo to my desk. This way I can enjoy my iPod and/or vinyl without disturbing B anymore. It is most pressing as I’ve a stack of vinyl that I’ve yet to play. I was surprised to hear it but my rambling and endless chattering and even my current battle with PSD is no big deal for B. However, my need for non-stop music is about to drive him out the window and we’re 5 stories up! Well, technically, we are up three but this building is odd so the third floor is like being on the 5th and the 5th is like being on the 8th. If there were a 5th floor. Our building stops with a 4th floor, but I digress. Anyway, B got me a way-cool new digital camera that is really small, slick and red! It is a Nikon Coolpix S200!! I can even take video. I just might end up attempting a Vlog at some point! Tho, I doubt I can master it. Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying the tail end of 2007. I, for one, will be very glad to see this year come to a close! And, now, we have to go find a connector and some wiring. The music must never stop!

I’m reminded of the tag line for SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER which was: “Where do you go when the record’s over?” …Mine never is. …and, if I have anything to do with it — my record will never be over! Oh, and I really do love the new Goldfrapp — which “drops” at the end of February — but it shimmers instead of glitters. And, I always prefer glitter balls to fine crystal. Still, I will take Goldfrapp any way I can get it! …and, thank you to that person out there who sent me the full CD a month ago!!! I wonder if it will sound the same when it finally is released on 2.25.08?!?!!? Hmmmmm… Maybe the remixes will glitter! The first single is out, by the way!

December 28, 2007. Uncategorized. 18 comments.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

from me and Bagel!

…and, this was the Santa created by B and Ing on Thanksgiving! …which they placed in the hallway by our front door!

…and, this is the same Santa a few hours before Christmas! …we’re not sure where his Dorito Chip beard went. However, a sweet potato Santa doesn’t age so well.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a very happy Santa Day!!!!

Kisses from the Ghetto Fabulous — just across the bridge from Gaytown!

December 24, 2007. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

MY XMAS POST: IS IT THE HI-FI OR PAT BENATAR?!?!

I often feel I was born a bit too late. Someone of my generation who is gay should be totally devoted to Madonna. I mean, I enjoy Madonna — but I was practically addicted to Barbra Streisand out of the womb. That is the action of someone fifteen to ten years my senior! I like to think of myself as a child of the 70’s, but I came of age in the 80’s. And, as anyone who came of age in the 80’s I was touched by the magic that was and will always remain Pat Benatar! Her music was a sort of wall paper of my teenage years. Admit it. If you were born between 1964 and 1971 — you were almost required to have at least one Pat Benatar single, LP or cassette! It was almost mandatory!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Love is a Battlefield, We Belong, Invincible and We Live for Love all managed to embrace a sort of confused sexual power as well as a beat you could dance to without claiming to be too shallow. Who can forget the powerful and empowering way Pat shook her boobs at her mean pimp in defiance and returned triumphant to the safety of her suburban home after having runaway?!!?? It was an MTV Miracle! And, of course, there were the powerful message songs like Hell is for Children — probably one of the few “cool” songs to shout out about the evils of child abuse. It was as if somebody had pulled a strong voiced girl, tried to make her sound like a Blondie for a tougher sort of suburban ethic. It usually always worked!

…well, except for that failed attempt to cover The Beatles’ Helter Skelter — which is. let’s face it, just painful. Why? Who knows?!?!? The vocals seem to be on the mark, the guitars soar, there is anger — but it doesn’t form correctly. Like all of Pat’s work there seems to be an underlining corporate plan to control the teen masses of the Regan Years! Some strange rock-n-roll plan gone wrong and exposed by a single Beatles cover from which Ms. Benatar never fully recovered. This was about the same time that Culture Club decided to start singing an odd war protest song that seemed to be — somehow shallow. World War is stupid. …and, what?!?!?

Anyway, my post is not so much about Pat Benatar or my failed attempt to describe her appeal – we all know her music was appealing, catchy and memorable. And, while Madonna was flaunting sexuality one way, Ms. Benatar was asserting it in another. Sadly, most of the girls at the mall misunderstood. But, who can blame them or us — it often seemed that Pat (or her people!) were as confused when promoting her to the masses. …just view FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH if you don’t get what I’m saying. This film, unlike BREAKFAST CLUB captures my generation in a more true light than any other. …I think. Who knows?

But, my Xmas Post is straying!

What I want to say is this! Why, when I play either a CD, LP or MP3 of Pat Benatar do I discover it is just too “tinty”!?!?? What is up with that? No matter how I adjust the trebble or the base — Pat sounds like she was engineered for the Top 40 on an AM station from Hell!?!?! Only the desperate notes of GET NERVOUS come close to sounding well recorded or mastered?!?!? And, Ms. Benatar was on one of the best of record labels!

What gives? I was thinking about this after I managed to find a still sealed and pristine vinyl copy of Pat Benatar’s Best Hits! …It sounds as horrible as the MP3’s I created from my CD’s! I just don’t understand.

…If only Santa could re-master Pat! I know that it would be far better for a big box of peace, but a part of me would just like to hear We Live For Love without having to wince at the tinty sound as it blares away. I just don’t get it. Culture Club, Toni Basil, The Cars and even Phil Collins sound good. Why does Pat sound like her music is somehow stuck on an AM transistor radio?!?!? …or is it my “Hi-Fi”

I hope everyone has a very happy holiday — if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you at least have the day off and can do something you for you. And, that no one is alone.
Kisses,
matty

December 23, 2007. Uncategorized. 9 comments.

SOME HOPE FOR AMERICAN CINEMA

I really expected to not like this film. Actually, I was worried I might hate it. But, as it turns out, I absolutely loved it. It actually made me tear up — in a good way. Sort of.

…I always forget that Nicole Kidman can be an incredible actress when she wants to be. And, Jennifer Jason-Leigh and Jack Black just rock always.

December 20, 2007. Uncategorized. 14 comments.

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE…

Someone sent me an email. It wasn’t mean, but it was a bit thoughtless. The sender “anonymous” as his/her name. It may have been sent by someone who reads my blog or it might have been sent by someone with whom I work. Who knows? This is not a plea for pity or even sympathy. I decided it might even be somehow therapeutic to write this down.

The email wanted to know what the big deal was with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and why I wasn’t able to just “snap out of it” and get on with my life. I know I should be an expert on the condition of PTSD by now, but I’m not. I don’t even like thinking about it and insurance does not cover “real” therapy other than to throw meds at it and see a doctor every 6 weeks.

So, I often feel quite hopeless and alone. Thank God for B, Ing, Bagel and Alan. They sort of hold me together as I work thru what they call an “episode” of the syndrome which I’m told will eventually work itself out and I’ll return to my normal self.

Essentially, I find myself reliving horrible things that happened to me as a child. This usually always happens at night — or in the very early hours. Dream beyond nightmares. I wake up in terror and confused. Sometimes I’m not even sure who or where I am. They are called “night terrors” and it has created an irrational fear of night time. I know it isn’t logical, but I can’t seem to force that belief into my brain. I get really jumpy at night.

Actually, I’m just sort of on edge all of the time — and tired most of the time. I nap a lot during the day. For the past 4 months I am in a constant sort of bubble feeling. I feel like I’m stuck in a camera or someone else’s body watching everything happen to me. And, my sense of balance is off. I trip and fall. I get confused. I get lost. Sometimes this sensation becomes so intense it scares me to the point that I start to faint. It is either getting better or I’m getting used to it. But, it never stops. A sudden sound or surprise can knock me off guard and make me jump. At night I find I need to hold the puppy or a pillow to feel safe and grounded. I have become very short tempered.

…I am told this is called disassociation or something like that — and I am told that all of my problems are “text book” Post Trauma Stress Disorder. As if that should make me feel better.

I just want it all to stop.

I’m not suicidal. Quite the opposite. I am tired of being a victim and I am determined to beat this. I’m doing the very best I can.

I am on short term disability which is covered by the state of California. My income has been cut by 25% and there is usually some obnoxious delay caused by either my health care providers or by the state. As an example, my last two checks have been cut in half due to clerical mistakes. This will eventually be sorted and I will receive a larger check — but probably not until after the holidays.

I feel like less of a man because I am unable to contribute what I feel is a fair share toward our bills. I’ve started trying to cook meals for B when he comes home at night from work, but I’m not much of a cook and find that I get confused sometimes when I do. Did I put this or that in? I end up rummaging thru the garbage can to be sure I didn’t miss a key ingredient. I find myself staring off into space and almost burn the food.

This is hell.

I fall down on the subway. I trip on stairs. Sometimes I get into a crying jag.

I have to be cautious about what movies I see — a violent film can send me into a panic. I freeze and have to fight to be able to get up and leave the cinema. Then I sort of fall apart either in the lobby or the bathroom. I do my best to hide it. At the moment, I’m over-medicated as they are trying to both help me sleep and get me off one med and on to another. So, I sometimes find that my speaking is slurred. These new meds cause sugar cravings in 90% of the people who take them. Well, I’m one. I’ve put on 20 pounds. After the holidays the doctor has a plan to help me cut down the weight gain. Hard to explain, these cravings are next to impossible to fight.

I feel ugly. …like everyone knows what happened to me when they look at me. Even tho, I know this can’t be true. It is how I feel. I get panicked in a room full of people. Like I’m being judged. I feel like what happened when I was 4 to 9 was my fault even tho I know it wasn’t.

Sometimes, like today, I wake up from a horrible nightmare in a cold sweat. I’m dizzy, confused and in a state of horror. After I manage to catch my breath, I get to the bathroom as I feel like I need to use the bathroom — and the unbearable pain I felt back when I was a child has returned. I sweat, I start to pass out, I feel like I must be bleeding — but it passes. My head down to my knees to keep from fainting off the toilet. I haven’t gone to the bathroom. It is like some phantom pain.

The doctor seems to be preparing me for the fact that I might need to go on permanent disability. This scares me to even think about. I feel like an invalid.

Yes, I wish I could just snap out of this more than anyone. I want my life back and i will get it back. It just might not be the life I had planned.

The things that can happen to us seem to be able to stay with us forever. Children are precious. They are more fragile than you think. No one was “there” or able to protect me back then. So, I’m stumbling. But, I’m blessed with a wonderful — near perfect life-partner/lover and dear friends. And, as limited as it is — I do have medical care.

I’ve lost my position at the organization I so love. They will have another same/equal position when and if I’m able to return to work. That all remains to be seen.

My life is changing. It is horrible and tough. But, look. I’ve been thru worse and lived thru it. I will get thru this. It will just take time.

Don’t judge another until you’ve been in his/her shoes. Sometimes, we can’t just snap out of it. Sometimes, we just have to do our best to get thru it. It isn’t easy. I hope I don’t regret this posting. But, I felt I needed to write it down. I felt like I needed to try and explain a bit of what I’m going thru.

I’m strong. I’m OK. I don’t want pity, but I don’t want to be treated as if I’m being a baby about things. I want to snap out of it. I’m doing my very best.

December 19, 2007. Uncategorized. 17 comments.

TAG’D FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!

…nothing is as refreshing as being tag’d by Cool Old Cheeser! And, I’ve been holiday tag’d by him. Being the brave trooper that I am not, I am forging ahead despite my cold and general confusion!

“When people say ‘Christmas’ you immediately think…”

I tend to get excited because it means I can play my Carnie & Wendy Wilson Christmas CD in peace! “Hey Santa” is the absolute best Christmas record ever made! Seriously! It is cheezy, overtly happy and puts a tap in your step! Don’t believe anyone who tries to tell you otherwise! Seriously!

“Favourite Christmas memory…”

Christmas morning 1975. 9 years old! My present was the “Lazy Afternoon” LP by Barbra Streisand! I was so excited and happy! I remember being so upset with my Grandmother who always gave me $3 to buy a record album at K-Mart once a month. And, she and my Mom would not let me get “Lazy Afternoon” — so I had gotten a Bay City Rollers LP instead. My mom has a picture of me holding the record from that morning. If I had it, I would scan it and post it for your viewing pleasure. I used to like to imagine that I could climb into the cover of this record and lay on Barbra’s luxurious sofa and look at all her pretty things! Wouldn’t Barbra’s living room circa 1975 be so cool and comfortable?!?!?!? Mmmmmmmm, delicious.

“Favourite Christmas song/carol…”

“Hey Santa” by Carnie & Wendy Wilson! Duh! However, I’m also quite fond of “Silent Night” as interpreted by one, Miss Stevie Nicks. …High Priestess of Rock. I especially like the part where Robbie Neville goes all R&B on her ass as he “harmonizes” with her. Not one to be out done, she matches his fever’d singing! I figure that they must have been having a lot of sex at the time or a one hit wonder would have never been singing with her. But, who knows? C’est la vie!

“Favourite Christmas movie…”

Oh, easy one! NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION! I can watch this movie over and over again and still laugh every single time. I love it when Juliette Lewis (the Sandy Dennis of my generation!) becomes frozen from the waist down as the Clarks hunt down the perfect tree! …and, who couldn’t love Aunt Bethany!?!?! “Clark? Is this the airport?” … “Don’t push me down, Clark!” …that would be Aunt Bethany’s jello mold. Oh dear. She wrapped her cat again by mistake.

I had a friend in the early 90’s who could repeat every single line from this film with imitations of all the voices. And, he would do this to us when we were stuck on a crowded subway train causing great embarrassment! Good times!

I also really like MEET ME IN ST LOUIS — which I consider a Christmas movie. Maybe it isn’t, tho. However, this Judy Garland film has more hot men per average than any other movie you will ever see! It is true! …even the guy who drives the milk wagon is hot! The dad is hot! …and, then, there is the boy next door! And, Lon! And, the guy to Judy’s left on the trolley! The male hotness just never stops in this movie! And, I think it is a Christmas movie. Isn’t it?

“Favourite Christmas character…”

Aunt Bethany! …or the guy to Judy’s left on the trolley in MEET ME IN ST LOUIS.

“Favourite Christmas ornament/object…”

Now, this is a tough one for me. I have to narrow it down to three:

1. The two Andy Warhol-like angels my Grandmother gave me when I was 5. If I were not so sick and lazy I would take a picture and post it.
2. My Barbra Streisand ornament that came with her second Christmas LP which would be my fave had Carnie & Wendy not made their LP. …both of these records are produced by the same genius, by the way! …the ornament looks just like the one on the cover of her second Christmas LP! Miss S was most impressed by it last weekend!! Ing always marvels at the sheer brilliance of this particular ornament. …this is Ing from last year helping me and B put up our tree — when she first marveled at the magic of the Barbra ornament. She helped us again this year, but I don’t think I took any pictures. So, this one from last year will have to do. She looks amazing! …as always.
3. A really beautiful hand-crafted penguin which me and B purchased this year and hung on our tree! We discovered that we both love penguins! It was quite romantic and I love this ornament. …this is probably my true fave. Once again, too lazy to take a picture at the moment.

“Plans for this Christmas…”

Well, this year it will just be me, B and Little Bagel. And, really, that is all I need! Ing is going to visit Hell, um, her parents this year so she can’t join us. Alan is going to be with his family as well. Anyway, we will have a lovely day!

“Is Christmas your favourite holiday?”

No. Too much religion tied up in it. I think I most enjoy Thanksgiving — and, besides, that is the evening we always put up the Xmas tree. I like to say Xmas more than Christmas.

I don’t care to actually tag people, but I’d be curious to see how Dessie and Gina would answer these questions. But, they are not tag’d.

However, I think I will tag Ing and Miss S. Just cuz!

December 18, 2007. Uncategorized. 14 comments.

TEA AND TEARS FOR GERMANY

I’ve a cold. Not really a big deal. Just a sore throat and bog’d feeling. However, compounded with what I’m still going through it almost feels like too much. Yeah, I’m feeling sorry for myself. I hate it when that happens. I’m tired of not being able to sleep at night, of all the pills, of not being able to work, gaining weight from the meds, feeling like I’m always in a bubble, feeling lost, off-balance and confused. Worried or even embarrassed to hang out with my friends. And, now — I’ve a cold. Oh well. It could always be worse. The thing is to focus on finding reasons to smile and laugh. Which means that my choice of viewing for the past several days was probably a poor one.

I am a huge fan of Fassbinder and this is the only work he has done that I had never been able to see. …940 minutes broken up into 13 episodes and an epilogue. All filmed for German television in 1979. It was met with a great deal of controversy and acclaim at the time of it’s original showing in 1980. However, I don’t think it had ever been screened in it’s full entirety outside of Germany until a couple of years ago at the Film Forum in NYC. It has taken a good couple of years for the Fassbinder Foundation and Criterion to get it master’d to everyone’s satisfaction to finally release it to DVD as Fassbinder would have intended it to be viewed.

Based upon the novel by Alfred Dolbin, the film follows a sort of simple man of the Wiemar Republic era Berlin. Of course, Fassbinder adds his own dose of symbolism to tie Dolbin’s work to his view of the woes of the Germany of not only the time of the story but the Germany in which Fassbinder was operating in the late 70’s. To say the film is “heavy” would be an understatement.

Not a film for smiling or laughing. And, I’m sure that the novel is no “walk in the park” but I’m dying to read it. I might try to find it at a local indie book store I like. But, tonight I think I will watch this. Tho, bittersweet at times, it might lighten up my spirits a bit. …Still, even with this movie, I’m always surprised at how it feels to watch Judy Garland soothe her character’s baby sister with “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” —- not what one expects. Still, all that gorgeous color! And, the changing of seasons!

Still, if anyone out there has viewed the unedited version of BERLIN ALEXANDERPLATZ — did you understand Fassbinder’s ending?!?!? …there seemed to be three different conclusions — of course, all were leading to the same doomed place — but which one are we meant to take as truth? Or, does it even matter?

Still, I’m so glad to have finally viewed this work. Fassbinder can always be counted on providing that essential food for thought. …And, sadly, so many in our world have forgotten how to think. And, that is the most sad and dangerous thing that can happen. Rational, logical and caring thinking are so very important. …And, accountability.

Now, I need to find some Sudafed before my throat actually sets on fire!

December 17, 2007. Uncategorized. 13 comments.

MADONNA AND ESCALATORS…

I was starting my daily walk — you know, the one where I am supposed to try and walk two to three miles, but I am not feeling so hot today. Sleep was troubled and I’m just feeling a bit sick. I guess. I don’t know. Anyway, I wasn’t up for the walk, but I decided to walk to BART, have the Subway 6 inch sandwich of the day, a huge Diet Coke and at least walk a few blocks on this sunny day in San Francisco. I plugged my iPod into my brain. Yes, I can now hook it directly into my brain for maximum listening pleasure!

Anyway, I selected Madonna’s American Life CD as my music of the day. Now, critics and many people I know tore this one down. However, I’ve always liked it. But, I must confess I had not paid too much attention to the lyrics. I enjoy all the sounds and beats she and her producer created for it. This morning I paid attention to the lyrics and it struck me how we can work all our lives toward a goal of some form of success within the scheme of the American Dream (which is just that) and even reach it — but the bottom line is we all want love and are still stuck in the miseries of our childhood (if we were unlucky enough to have misery) —- this seems, to me, to be what much of Madonna’s LP is about.

And, that lame rap? Well, maybe it is meant to be lame. Maybe it is meant to be vapid and insipid as cultures are co-opt’d. Well, I think I’m trying to give Madge “a save” here — I think the rap is just lame and one has to fight from not laughing or rolling of the eyes. However, I think I shall pretend that it intended to be this way. Or in Madonna’s head — “ironic” — it rather fits the tone of the song which critiques our culture’s obsession with doing what ever is required to “make it” — even rap.

Still, I must remind myself that Madonna is close with pals with Gweneth Paltrow who once posed for Esprit and told them that the one thing she would do to change the world would be to create an orange juice that wouldn’t taste bad after brushing your teeth. …Deep. But, man! That theme song for the James Bond movie rocks when the headphones are on and you’re trying to dodge that crazy guy on Market and Powell! Anyway, as I was thinking about the merits and possible depths of Madonna’s music I noticed that I was getting on to the escalator like an old man. I was waiting for a new grill to come up before placing a foot on the magical stairs. I finally got up the nerve to step on and noticed the very nervous business man who seemed to be in a rush to get to a meeting — running up the actual stairs. As he ran, I stood still and landed at the top a few seconds before his marathon run up the stairs. However, there were a few hurry’d folks who ran up the escalator and they beat him by at least a minute!

So — if you’re in a hurry, the best thing to do is to run up the magic stairs, uh — I mean escalator. Or, simply stand on the escalator. The stairs are slower and should only be used if you’re meant to be walking two to three miles a day.

I have yet to evaluate the merits of running down stairs vs. riding the magic stairs but I might do that one day. …Maybe when I get ’round to re-thinking Madonna’s Eroitc CD. …I don’t know. Maybe it would be better to change the taste of orange juice than cure cancer, AIDS or stop all wars. But, somehow, I doubt it. …I also would not name my child “Apple” — but, that’s just me.

I know. How very non-Esprit.

December 14, 2007. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

THIS END UP

Having a way cool new record player (my bday gift from B!) is like having a time machine to all the great places I could hide from reality when I was a kid. …Not Barbra Streisand’s butt — no, but to her music. And, the music of others! Anyway, I’ve discovered a great way to waste time, spend little money and manage to hide my anxiety issues of late from others —- used record shopping! I do so love a musty record store with crates full of musical memories. And, as it turns out my fave memories are rather cheap in today’s market. However, it doesn’t mean that they are easy to find.
I’ve been spending hours crawling on the floors of these shops throughout the greater San Francisco area to find certain LP’s — and Barbra’s highly successful, but forgotten 1977 gem, STREISAND SUPERMAN seems to be next to impossible to find and when I do find it — it is in such poor shape it would never play. Well, today I found the LP in West Portal and in exceptional shape!!!! It even has the inlay pullout card featuring many more shots of Barbra’s ass and her notes about the LP!
And, really, who doesn’t need more shots of Barbra’s butt?!?! Back when I was 10 years old I played this LP so much that you could almost see through it! I had to buy it five times! My Grandmother used to ask if I could play “that A Star Is Born record instead?” …sometimes I would comply and other times I just refused — and the house was filled with the rock easy sounds of Superman. My father used to take the jacket for this record, cover the head and say “She looks pretty damn good without the head part!” …and I would kick him. “Answer Me” and “I Found You Love” remain two of my favorite songs. Like warm hugs or mugs of hot chocolate — they bring me comfort. And, the silliness of the pictures entertain me. Well, Babs was workin’ it the best she could. I still think it might have been easier had she just posed nude.

And, another added benefit of having a record player is that the love of vinyl has fully returned and most cool artists are releasing LP’s of their work. And, I have to say — the vinyl sounds more “alive” than the CD’s or the MP3 files. After finding Streisand Superman for only fifty cents, I was thrilled to find this …on vinyl for all of five dollars!!!! For some reason most new vinyl tends to sell for sixteen dollars and up, but this one is just slightly used and I don’t think Bonnie Prince Billy is so popular in West Portal. But, I play this a lot on my iPod so it is really awesome to have it on vinyl!

…I saw a lot of Liza Minnelli records for even cheaper than Barbra’s.

I started to pick some up for Ing because, in case you didn’t know, ING LOVES LIZA!

…actually, I think Ing aspires for that mid-70’s Liza look. Anyway, then I realized that she probably already had most of these on CD and doesn’t have a record player. Too bad. Because Ing could get all the Liza she needed for less than twenty-five cents a pop! …And, it didn’t look like most of them had ever even been opened. …excepting the CABARET soundtracks.

“…Do you wake up very slowly?
Does it take a while before you smile
Are your dreams like premonitions
Have you lived them through
Some people do
I hope you’ll answer me with patient eyes
No hurried words, foolish or wise
Answer me, answer me with soft silent touches
They’ll tell me as much as I need to know
Answer me with deep and restful sleeping
And if you dream in sleep
They’re yours to keep
No you need not answer me
If we must part
Should someone ask
Who’s touched your heart
Perhaps you’ll answer me…”

from Streisand Superman

December 12, 2007. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

Next Page »