Lily had worked hard to get here. To escape poverty, to secure an education and to find a place of import in a corporate world dominated by stupid white men. She had made it. She was a size 4, great hair, a condo in the Marina district and a corner office.

But Lily felt she was missing one thing. It was the one thing that her mother never failed to mention to her every Monday evening when they spoke. …A man.

It wasn’t that Lily didn’t want to be in love and have a family, but somewhere between 24 and 42 she forgot to seriously consider it.

Now, on one of those perfect and crisp San Francisco Sunday afternoons, the three of us all found ourselves in the same little area. Me and B sat on a bench just outside the De Young Museum contemplating all sorts of things. The wind ran through our hair. It was a great day.

We couldn’t help but notice her.

She stood alone. A smart and light jacket covered what appeared to be a sexy halter top. And she wore sleek black flared pants with high heels. She wore a simple chocker-style necklace with a red heart — which matched the string which held her hair up in a stylish yet simple swoop. She looked fierce.

A 70’s vintage sort of black shoulder back hung off her left shoulder. As beautiful as she was — there was an air of tension running in the air around her. Lily was nervous.

As B and I discussed the meaning of life, future plans and enjoyed the day — Lily stood a few feet away pushing out energy that seemed to be a mix of excitement and horror. Intense.

It was hard not to watch her.

“I’m sorry, but could you tell me the time?”

B answered.

“He’s late.” …and, with that Lily walked farther away as if it might help “him” hurry.

A few minutes later I noticed a short, pudgy and book-ish looking sort of guy walking toward her. He was holding a pretty lily wrapped in clear foil.

Oh no.

Lily was facing north. This little fellow was walking toward her from the south.

B and I stopped talking and just watched the sad horror of a blind date/meeting from Hell unfold. …from the safe distance of our bench.


You could see the excitement fill the pretty features of her delicate face as a smile formed. Quickly composing herself she turned around as she said the one word which would doom the rest of her Sunday: “Yes!”

We could no longer see Lily’s face. Only the face of the little guy with heavy glasses and a bald head which barely reached her chest.

“Wow! You’re more beautiful than you picture! I got this for you!” …He extended the offering of the flower. There was an awkward hesitation, but our little ugly guy was not one to let a little bit of awkward slow him down.

He had fought hard all of his life, too. And, he had been looking for love ever since he saw Debra Winger ride that bull in URBAN COWBOY. > He pushed the flower forward and then did something that caused even us to gasp.

…He put his stubby little arms around Lily’s tiny waste, hugged her and gave her a gentle kiss on the check. And, to make it all the more odd for Lily, he took her hand as she seemed to ‘discover’ that her left hand was now holding the lily.

“I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you! After all those emails! At last! And, this show is going to be great! Let’s go! Hey! Do you like seafood? I know a great little restaurant! After we’ve had a chance to enjoy the art, we can have a great meal and just chat!”

As if in a drug induced state, Lily followed Him up the walk to the museum.

I was torn. Part of me wanted to just follow them around and see what would happen. Would she stick it out or run? Another part of me wanted to think of a way to stop the madness and get Lily back to the safety of her condo or to some nice bench there in the museum park. However, B and I were like two helpless Discovery Channel videographers. We could do nothing.

We simply watched as Lily was lead into the museum wishing she were back in her office studying the pie charts that paid her mortgage.

April 27, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. deldell replied:

    Poor Lily…and poor little man.

  2. jungle jane replied:

    Ohhhh I bet that’s the last time Lily arranges an internet date without checking height and weight…

  3. ing replied:

    I’ve been there, several times. Lucky for me, I FINALLY learned that no matter how sorry you feel for them, you should turn them down when they ask for a second date. I used to think I was being shallow if I didn’t give them several chances.

    But unless the guy is a complete jerk, you do have to sit through the first date. The flower and the gentle kiss on the cheek would sure make the rest of it hard to take. They must have had some nice email exchanges.

  4. jungle jane replied:

    Oh Ing. You are so wise. I only use internet dating when i need to meet people with certain skill sets. i’ve recently been dating a painter and decorator. my house looks fantastic.

    i am shallow. i am shamed….

  5. matty03 replied:

    Daniel – I felt more sorry for “Lily” — I mean, it was clear to us that he had not been honest with her about himself. I can forgive much, but not dishonesty. Well, I guess I can forgive it, but it is more of a stretch for me to do.

    Jungle Jane!!!! You’re back!!!! Oh, how I’ve missed you! Just jumped over to your website!!! Love the new feline look! Well, B & I both felt that “Lily” was not the sort of person who wouldn’t have done her research. I suspect this guy had not been upfront about himself. Poor “Lily” …I wonder what happened.

  6. matty03 replied:

    Ing — You are NOT shallow! Dating is hard. I always thought of it as interviewing for the job of ‘boyfriend’ or ‘lover’ — and, I guess, I was kind of harsh with guys who were not honest. It happened A LOT, too. I guess I “bull-doze’d’ it. I would just say, “You don’t look like your picture” or “You were not telling the truth about your age” …or “…your size/weight/looks” …or, “That was either not your picture or it was a very out-of-date picture.” …then, I would usually say, “Too bad because I would have been happy to hang out and get to know you but now I don’t see any point. Take care.” ….and, then I would leave.

    Maybe I was or am a little mean. But, it isn’t fair to not be honest about yourself if you’re looking to meet/date and hopefully end up in a relationship. Talk about the wrong foot!

  7. matty03 replied:

    Jungle Jane – LOL! You rock. Did he make you dinner, too?

  8. Meredith replied:

    I read this with a painful cringe on my face. Partly because I wanted Lily to have a lovely time with the little fellow and fall madly in love with him but we all know THAT didn’t happen. Fascinating that you and B witnessed all this. God I hope it wasn’t true. I hope it was a business meeting of some sort. Her brother. A cousin… anything but a blind date. The world is a sad place sometimes.

  9. ing replied:

    And I hope it was not a blind date with her brother. THAT would be a huge shock.

    I like Jane’s idea — I could use another publicist to stay late for me at work. But I gave up on internet dating. I never, ever had any luck with it.

  10. matty03 replied:

    Lovely Meredith — I know. Sadly, I think it was a date. The world can be so mean and sad. But, sometimes it can be really fucking great! …and, when you least expect it.

    Ing – LOL! I don’t think they came from the same gene pool! Jungle Jane is full of great ideas! I just don’t have her guts! And, never give up! Never!

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