Yeah, But…

I still think the dad was hot. James Evans. Wow. How did Florida land him?!?!?


Good Times
Any time you meet a payment
Good Times
Any time you need a friend
Good Times
Any time you’re out from under
Not gettin’ hassled, not gettin’ hustled
Keepin’ your head above water
Makin’ a wave when you can
Temporary lay-offs
Good Times
Easy credit rip-offs
Good Times
Scratchin’ and survivin’
Good Times
Hangin’ in a jury
Good Times
Aint we lucky we got ’em
Good Times

March 17, 2007. Uncategorized. 2 comments.


300_climb2.jpg Yes, Gerard Butler is totally gorgeous as is the “look” of 300 but I had a great difficulty getting past all the odd mix of homo-erotic moments mixed with all that equally odd mix of homo-phobia. And, while I did get a kick out a few over-the-top moments I was driven to worry by the fact that the movie felt like it had been financed by President Bush and Stoop-n-Fetch-It-Woman-of-the-Moment, Ms. Condi Rice — essentially, the Spartan way of life seemed to be dedicated to pursuit of violence and bloodshed in pursuit of some odd idea of freedom that meant you were required to look and act like everyone else, take steroids and kill anyone unfortunate enough not to look like a gym bunny or overly tanned Estee Lauder model. Actually, there didn’t appear to be any real freedom or fun in Sparta-land. Just hot men in leather bikinis in need of a gay parade. And, I didn’t know that Spartans had waxing salons for men!?!?! Who knew? The king’s wife was hairy than he was. …and, actually, he had bigger tits. Tho, Mr. Butler is incredibly hot. Tho, his beard seemed to have a hard on and I couldn’t figure that one out. gbusa300mofix1.jpg …but who wouldn’t want to help him out with that issue? Admit it, if your gay or a str8 woman — you wouldn’t mind. Still, I think Gerard would look better about 50lbs lighter.

And, of course, there was a great deal of bizness ’round a drag queen like giant with loads of piercings whose voice was dub’d by some robotic computer — who was in need of a Spartan hottie to get on his knees before him. That’s really all he wanted. In the end, he could only score with a hunchback’d monster sort of Spartan who had managed to not be tossed from the mountain for being ugly. 19be315e-53ea-4c6f-a2d8-3e0a81683721_xerxes_200.jpg I must confess, I found the giant king the hottest of all the actors. I liked his cheekbones and stern look. And, I felt he actually had the best body of the bunch. Lean, but muscular. …and, of course I think he was meant to be about 12 feet tall. So, big feet and we all know where that leads.
101dal.jpg …I was thinking. Being that the movie is pulling in tons of money — there should be a sequel. I think they should bring in Glenn Close and she can play the evil HenchWoman of the Persian God — she would have lobster claw legs that behead offensive Spartans and they could call it “101 Persians Vs. 301 SPARTANS” …with the tag line, “Be prepared for glory and loads of scenery eating!” …it could happen.

I don’t know. As interesting as the film was from a visual perspective, I grew weary of all the bloodshed and I couldn’t tell where the real actors started and the CGI animation began. Still, I can’t say I was bored. And, Gerard’s ass certainly looked nice in the soft moonlight. …just before he “poked” his wife. And, that whole prophecy scene with the beautiful Spartan girl could easily just be cut from the film and turned into a Calvin Klein ad for some perfume. That girl did have lovely, pert little breasts — by the way. But, Gerard’s were still bigger.

March 15, 2007. Uncategorized. 10 comments.


images.jpg Sometimes I wake up and find myself just laying there thinking about the journey of my life. I’m sure this is something we all do.

I find myself thinking of the amazing way I have traveled, grown and changed over the years. True, in many ways I am still the same person I was at seventeen. But, it is also true that I am a totally different person than that confused kid. In fact, when I think about it — I am, in many ways, so different from the individual I was just five years ago.

I’m in a much better space. I am a better person. But, I often sit back and wonder if we all share this experience. Thus far, it is as if I’ve been 5 different people over the course of 40 years on the planet.

I was the sad and abused child who felt so alone in that little town in Texas.

Then I was totally screwed up teenager and young adult in that same town.

Then, I drove across the country to Boston and got it together as an adult. I formed healthy friendships and explored a number of odd and, with hindsight, scary experiments about who I was trying to become. Trying to find me and my voice.

Then, I became focused on a career that ultimately meant little or nothing and embarked on a committed relationship which led me to sadness — but, at the same time gave me great insight into who I was and what I really wanted.

And, now, as I enter my fourth month of being 40 I find myself in a deeper, more evolved love. Sure, this love brings a relationship which presents its own set of challenges but it feels so worth it. And, I find myself in a new job that I actually am loving in a way I’ve not loved a job before. Surrounded by artists and doing what I can to make that environment more condusive for the teaching and creation of art. I am a different person from the one who arrived in San Francisco in April of 2005.

And, I woke up this morning from a dream of clouds. At first stormy — as it seems much of my life has been a storm. But, then the clouds cleared and turned to soft, fluffy things into which I wanted to fly and find comfort. Into which I wanted to push into with my head. To feel the cool, moist air.

I woke up and began to think about this journey of mine. Where I’ve been, where I am and I began to muse over the awesome power that is life. What’s next? No one knows. But, you have to be true to yourself. You have to try. You have to fight for what is right and defend the ones you love.

…no matter the storm that might come up, you’ve got to hold on, face it, deal with it and refuse to surrender to fear, self-doubt and the cruelty of others. You have to live. And, you better damn well live it fully because while it may be a complex journey — It is a frighteningly short one.

Get a grip and enjoy this ride. moblog_94379eebb7936.jpg

March 13, 2007. Uncategorized. 15 comments.


Of all the harsh realities of life one of the most stunning to me was the horrid truth of the Sea Monkey.

…children the world over were promised happy little families with full-teeth smiles and the promise of true friends in a bowl which some scientist had invented. I remember worrying that I might not be up to taking care of a whole family of Sea Monkeys. I also can remember wondering if my Grandmother could help me make them clothes. It was she who gave me the dollar, envelope and stamp to send away from my little family of underwater monkeys who could smile even bigger than Mary Tyler Moore.

However, like so many children before me — my dreams were to be crushed. Sea Monkeys do not look like this:

No, Sea Monkeys look like this: …if you scrape them up with a spoon, put them under a microscope and magnify their image by about 100% — yes, then they look like this. Brine shrimp who normally die in a few days either because the room is too hot/cold or because you just don’t care. They don’t smile. They don’t make jokes. You can’t dress them. They don’t even appear to have eyes. Not even floating eyeballs like fish. They are just there.

The failed promise of the sea monkey can break a kid’s heart. But, I bet it feels even worse to be a sea monkey.

March 11, 2007. Uncategorized. 20 comments.


…a more recent picture of me and my baby brother taken in San Francisco about 11 months ago and 27 years after the picture in post part I. …this is for Robert who requested a more current photo.

March 9, 2007. Uncategorized. 15 comments.


Up until he was about three years old, my baby brother liked me to hold him upside down. I used to love to make him laugh. He was so full of energy that my friends would run in fear. But, he was so cute and so much fun!

Today I got an email from my brother, now an artist in Manhattan. The email said, “I love you” …and he scanned and attached this old picture of us. I can remember when it was taken. It was the summer of 1979. I was always worried I might drop him. Luckily, I never did.

I miss him.

March 8, 2007. Uncategorized. 18 comments.


…And, of course, those M&M’s would be eaten in color order. Yes, I’m one of those odd obsessive types who can only eat M&M’s one color at a time. Unless, of course they are embedded in a soft cookie like The Pokie as sold by Hot Cookie in The Castro! Yum! I know it is odd, but it can’t be helped. If I am required to eat M&M’s in random color order it becomes a most worrying ordeal for me. I prefer to start with orange and then I like to move on to the other colors one at at time. I do not care for the blue ones. I toss those.

I had intended on writing about what happened on the bus ride home Monday evening, but I’m just not in the mood. However, it is all transcribed in my notebook which Ing has suggested I keep. And, I do.

Instead, I shall write of my joy of listening to Babs today! …isn’t this picture way cool?!?!? It was sent to me by a My Space pal who is wicked cool and finds the neatest pix of Babs! Anyway, I put Streisand on random shuffle.

There are currently 640 Barbra tunes on my iPod. Not sure how many hours one would spend if one were to actually play all those all the way thru. I did not do that. I just listened during my commute and on my lunch break. The first 5 Barbra songs played by my iPod today were:

“Much More”
“Left In The Dark”
“Starting Here, Starting Now”
“I Never Had It So Good”
“Second Hand Rose”

…it was all aural bliss! But the final song to come up was from one of her first professional recordings! From a “faux” original cast recording of “Pins & Needles” — a pro Union play written in honor of the sewing union. Anyway, I had forgotten how funny the recording is. Before Babs was totally “Barbra” — when she was still waiting for that Big Break — seemed to have no fear of going for the laughs and not so concerned with “perfection” but just presenting fun and a sort of vocal style that was unique to her and to her time. I’m not sure I’ve gotten the spellings correct. But, you’ll get the idea. The song is called “Nobody Makes a Pass At Me” and it is about the the plight of the single seamstress in the big city who just can’t seem to get a date… It made me laugh as I sat on a crowded MUNI train. …Which probably made me look a bit odd, but what do I care?!?!!??

“I want men that I can squeeze, that I can please, that I can tease!
Two or three or four or more!
What are those fools waiting for?
I want love and I want kissing I want more of what I’m missing

Nobody comes knocking at my front door
What do they think my knocker’s for?
If they don’t come soon there won’t be any more!
What can the matter be?

I wash my clothes with Lux, my etiquette’s the best,
I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I’m full of Kellogg’s Bran, eat Grapenuts on the sly,
A date is on the can of coffee that I buy
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh Beatrice Fair-Fax, give me the bare facts,
How do you make them fall?
If you don’t save me, the things the Lord gave me
Never will be any use to me at all.

I sprinkle on a dash of Fragrance de Amour,
The ads say ‘makes men rash’ but I guess their smell is poor
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me.

I use Ovaltine and Listerine, Barbasol and Musterole
Life Boy Soap and Flex, so why ain’t I got it?

I use Coca Cola and Marmola, Crisco, Lesco and Mazola,
Ex-lax and Vapex, so why ain’t I got sex?

I use Albolene and Maybellene, Alka Seltzer, Bromo Seltzer,
Odorono and Sinsation
So why ain’t I got fascination?

My girdles come from the best, The Time’s ads say they’re chic!
And up above I’m dressed in the brassier of the week!
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I use Pond’s on my skin, with rye-crisp I have thinned
I get my culture in I began ‘Gone With The Wind’
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh Dorothy Dix, please, show me some tricks,
Please, I want some men to hold
I want attention and things I can’t mention
And I want them all before I get too old

I use mum every day and Angeles LePlure,
But still men stay away just like Ivory soap I’m pure
Just like I result of 99 and 44
One hundred percent p.o.
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me.
I don’t know.
Oh, dear.”

March 7, 2007. Uncategorized. 12 comments.


…you can work out in the nude at a Dutch gym. I am sure this will be coming our way to Golds in The Castro. Don’t get me wrong. I love to be in the nude on the beach or at a lake. But, I do not wish to be nude while working out. Ewwwwwwwww. Just think of the odd ass imprints from the leg press! Just say NO!

March 4, 2007. Uncategorized. 19 comments.


It was the most amazing view of The City.

My heart filled with anticipation as the car pushed against gravity — allowing a bit of control against the pull.

We seemed to fly down the street. A slight fear that we might not be able to stop. But, no oblivion. Just a perfect sky, your hand on my thigh and that comfort clanking sound of a trolley passing by.

The sun and the breeze filled our ride.

By the time we parked my heart had calmed but was so very full of you. But, with a cold touch of your eyes I see the trouble returning.

And, now — as we sit over a couple of drinks you seem obscured. I can no longer see you.

I sip the bitterness and wonder if you can ever be satisfied.

I swallow and try to find you.

“…but all is changed with time.
the future none can see.
the road — you leave behind.
ahead lies mystery…”
Stevie Wonder

March 4, 2007. Uncategorized. 6 comments.


…Terry Gilliam’s “little” movie upset, confused and annoyed a lot of critics. I even failed to see it in the cinema during its very limited run. However, I saw it tonight. It is odd, disturbing, gruesome, funny, surreal, sad, bombastic and fucking brilliant. I was going to buy a new pair of shoes this weekend but shall be picking up my own copy of DVD instead. It blew me away. I don’t know that it is for everyone. It taps into some dark corners of childhood. …and humanity. But, it also sheds lights into those places. Survival. Working one’s way through those very grim moments of childhood — and making the horrible into beautiful. And the insane into family. Accidents into myth.

“…I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’ Ah, that’s the great puzzle!”

March 3, 2007. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

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