What Would Barbra Do?!?!?

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!!!! A pal from across the pond turned me on to a new book which was just published in the UK by journalist, Emma Brockes! She is one of my new idols! For Emma, you see, has written a book called “What Would Barbra Do?” which is one person’s personal journey on how musical plays and films inform and change our lives. Emma waves her freak flag high and with a great deal of wit.

And, while I’m only half way thru the magical book — I can see that she ascribes two ideas which I myself apply to live — she is missing two of mine, but she uses two of them and builds a solid case for why we should all apply these things to YOUR life! Yes, when facing a difficult problem it is time to turn to two sources for guidance: Barbra. Yes, just stop and ask, “Well, what would Barbra do?” ….she would NEVER give it up or back down! …or settle! And, the other times that are less pressing — one should refer to the film MARY POPPINS. It is quite important despite Dick Van Dyke’s bad accent. Read this book!!!

However, I am a bit confused by what Barbra is currently doing with her choice of DKNY specially designed gowns. It is most worrying. However, I figure it must be correct. I mean, it must be about empowerment and accepting that things fall but do get bigger. Maybe? Anyway, she knows what she’s doing. She is far richer than you!
…still, I wonder what the Clintons and the others thought when she walked in that big room with those huge honkers hanging free?!!?!?

And, I got a very exciting and important phone message today from my best pal, Ing! Ing scored a job!!!! And, not just any old job! No, Ms. Thaannng is now a publicist! Yes! You read it right! And working the PR for a way cool publishing house which promotes yoga during the course of the business day! It is a dream come true!!! Ing can finally be in a place where she can do her yoga in her high heels and power lunch! The world is about to be her oyster. Now, I just hope she remembers to keep in mind what Barbra would do as she works thru that all-quite-challenging learning curve period! I will be more than happy to let her know! I know my Barbra even if Bab’s fashion sense is currently escaping me. Congrats to our Ing! A gold star for her!!!! Whooo-hooo!!!

March 21, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. Meredith replied:

    Hmmm, now I’m sure that Barbra forgot that the dress was meant to be worn underneath a jacket or shawl and that the shawl or jacket WAS NOT meant to EVER come off. Especially not in public. I realize she’s Barbra and as such can do whatever she damn well pleases but exposed pancake breasts is not very classy. Methinks she needs to read the book herself as a reminder.
    Great news for Ing! I’m so happy for her. I think I’ll head over there and let her know! Yoga and power lunches!? Damn!

  2. matty replied:

    Lovely Meredith! Yes! Go visit Ing and congratulate her!!!! Whoo-hoo!

    Well, you know I am inclined to agree with you regarding Bab’s fashion choice for her recent dinner with Hillary and Bill — but she is Barbra. So, I think she must know what she is doing. So, if you have pendulous breasts and are attending a dinner with a former president and his wife who hopes to be our next president — I think you’re supposed to let them hang lose and swing him about. …And, maybe belt a song or two just before desert is served.

  3. ing replied:

    I really don’t want to think about those breasties. Though I have to say, for such big ones, and at her age, I have to appreciate a little. Ye gods!

    I think I need to read this book! Barbra IS much richer than I, and she gets what she wants, and she got to press her hand against Kris Kristoffersen’s bare chest when Kris Kristoffersen was at his hottest. What WOULD Barbra do, and how would she do it, and why? I need to know!

    Would Barbra do yoga in front of her coworkers? I would.

  4. jerrster replied:

    I don’t you guys…looks to me like Babs is serving up the pancake special at Dennys.

    just sayin’

  5. matty replied:

    Ing — If I could afford it, I’d get you a copy of the book right now because it really is funny and not about Babs — it is about how folks either hate musicals or love them, really. And it is sooooo funny! Right now, it is only in the UK but scheduled for release in the US in the fall — maybe you can PR it! Yes, admire the Barbra Pancake Breast-age!! …tho, I’m still not sure I understand what that means. Anyhoo, yes! Babs used to do extensive aerobics and yoga! Not sure if she moves much anymore. But, who knows? And, yes! She put more than her hands on his chest! They dated for a while in the early 70’s! Babs and Kris have “known” each other.

    Jerrster – Oh, no. I think you’re mistaken. I think it is one of those “Take Back The Night” moments. You know? When your over 60 perhaps Babs is telling us to simply be and enjoy who we are — and to let those boobies ride out free range — so that Bill can ooogle and Hilliary can focus on her campaign. This is my theory and I’m sticking it to it!

    After all, as the book teaches — Barbra and Mary Poppins (the film version) know best!

  6. hot lunch replied:

    that sounds like a superb job!! congrats to ing!

  7. Daniel replied:

    The dear looked like she was wearing two elephant ears, in that gown. But I’m sure it was real comfy!

  8. ing replied:

    I wonder if those things are sensitive to sound. . . if they sort of perk up when a baby cries or a mouse shrieks.

  9. matty replied:

    Hot Lunch! Yes! It is an awesome job and Ing is going to rock the publishing world!!

    Daniel — I think they are just big boobs. Barbra is magical.

    Ing – It’s Barbra! Of course they are sensitive to sound! Please! Barbra is music! Music is Barbra! I don’t know that a baby crying would make them perk up, tho. Not very musical. I’m thinking it would take a good dose of Sondheim or R&H! …the hills are alive!

  10. Karyn replied:

    Dude. Babs could hire a pygmy to shlep around under her DKcouture and hold those babies up; that’s all i’m saying. Ew.

    Rock it , Ing!

  11. matty03 replied:

    Karyn – Well, if Barbra did hire a pygmy to do that, I’m quite confident it would be the correct thing to do.

    Ing is totally rockin’ it!!

  12. hot lunch replied:

    i want to rock the publishing world. i guess i have to write my book first.

  13. Tim replied:

    Hmm …. looks like what Barbra would do, and what Barbra SHOULD do, are two different things …. But, she is considerable richer than all of us put together, so who can ague with that?!

  14. matty03 replied:

    Hot Lunch — Oh, no! You need not be a published writer to be a PR person! However, Ing is and has extensive experience in writing and teaching — and marketing. So, I see many power lunches in her future!

    Tim – You know, I think you all are looking at this from the wrong angle. Barbra knows what to do at all times. She is ahead of the curve. We should just accept that the free-fall-tit-age of the female senior years should be celebrated and exposed via a mesh DKNY outfit! I do believe she is on to something here. Tho, it is hard to understand or see. Think YENTL. Who would have thought to make a short story about a woman disguised as a man and willing to do absolutely anything to study at a Yeshiva to be a film musical!?!? …they laughed and rolled their eyes — but she did and it worked and it made money.

    so, remember — what would Barbra do? And, if you know — you should probably do it.

    However, I do wish she’d get a new hair cut.

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