YES, I (HEART) TRAVIS BICKLE

Well, I know he has his share of issues. Some say he is a bit sexually conflicted. That he harbours some very twisted and racist views. The CIA wrote that he was no hero — they said he was a homicidal maniac. A few have said that he is a cold-blooded killer with a bad hair cut! And, one person had the nerve to point out that he fails to wash his hands after he wipes out the messes made by his 70’s era Times Square passengers!

But, as I extend my right hand forward in preparation of advisting you to tell it there, my whimsical and satirical heart simply melts at the thought of the way Travis so totally works that whole mohawk/Army Surplus ‘look’! I mean, just look at that handsome smile! You can just see how happy he gets when those wild-n-nutty ideas pop into his head as he listens to political double-speak!

Plus, his job provides lots of interesting stories, he can give you a lift to anywhere you might need to go! And, he has a certain ‘edge’ because he simply refuses to sleep! And, it is soooooo cute to watch him play with his big gun while he talks to himself in the mirror. Yes, baby, they are talking to you!

And, I ask — how wouldn’t want to be taken to a sleazy porno cinema for a first date!?!?! Plus, Travis likes the cinemas that serve RC Cola and rent out rain coats! True, he doesn’t have a record player and seems to have some sort of ‘thing’ for 12 year old prossies, but I think he means well. I mean, those mean streets are not easy to navigate. We all know that! Yes, I lost my heart to Travis Bickle. …and, then — I woke up.

Remember when Martin Scorcese used to make really cool, challenging and important films? …before he started recycling classic Asian cinema or making epic films without any soul? When movies had edge and Robert De Niro was sleak, slim, sexy and carried a really big gun! And, Robert Altman was still alive and creating those gorgeous rambling works of art — before he met Cher. Ah, yes. Those were the days!

February 10, 2007. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

DIE YOUNG. STAY PRETTY.

…How many times did I watch season one of The Anna Nicole Show? I don’t even know, but I watched it a lot. My mouth would drop in shock at some of her “antics” and I would just sit back and laugh as she stumbled under coffee tables (and getting her ass stuck) as she tried to get her faggy little dog. I marveled at her taste in home decor. I enjoyed watching her sad attempts at good parenting and her odd drug-induced like speech patterns.

I think, too, that I had an odd bit of admiration for this somehow dumb blonde who was — on many levels – smarter than most — and my hope that someone from such sad Texas poverty and all the bad breaks would manage to actually pull through and make it. Shit. I wanted her to win that money! The thing is — there was always something about this tacky woman that I liked.

So, when I heard that her son died in front of her as she held her new born baby – I have to admit my heart sank. What sort of hell must that be to experience?

And, today we find out that she has died at 39.

I know it is odd, but I’m sad. And, no matter how the media or those outside of that realm will make fun of this and her life — and, over the years I think we ALL have. I just feel so sad that this person is gone. Anna Nicole Smith: Rest In Peace.

February 8, 2007. Uncategorized. 16 comments.

THE PRESSURES OF BEING COOL ON MUNI

…but someone has to do it! I’m a Non-Profit Manager now! So, I take the bus! Actually, I take the bus because I’d have to get up a half hour earlier to walk there.

Anyway, I’ve been wearing the way cool big headgear’d headset given me by B for my birthday! Bose! And, they rock. However, if you sit near me I do believe you can hear whatever I might be groovin’ to at that moment. I can have rather eclectic tastes in music. And, I’ve gotten some odd looks as I listen to a shuffle of John Denver, The Circle Jerks, Missy Elliott and Barbra. I just bop my head and smile. I do, however, try to keep the volume at a lower level because it is mean to impose your music on others — even if it might bring talent, love and happiness into their lives. Some people don’t really want that sort of musical magic, you know.

However, this morning I was feeling like a bit of love in the battlefield. You know? It must happen to each of you from time to time! Yes, I needed a fix of Ms. Pat Benatar! So, I had selected my musical artiste for the morning and had all of her tunes on my iPod. I have 24 Pat Benatar songs at the ready at all time! Yes, I am invincible. Anyway, just after I was amping down from the funk of being dared to hit someone with my best shot – Pat began to sing about the need to get nervous. It was at this point that a surprisingly animated older lady sat herself down next to me and tapped me one the shoulder.

“I’m sorry. Is it too loud?”

“No, baby. Just wondering what sort of music that is you’re listening to. Sounds like some sad ass white girl tryin’ to be Elvis.”

I can’t help but laugh. I show her my iPod.

“Remember Pat Benatar?”

“Oh, yeah! She was cool, tho! Ohhhh! Look! You can see her picture! You’re a cool white boy, huh?”

“Well, that’s what they tell me.”

She laughs. “Yeah, I remember my daughter wantin’ to look like her. I wanted her to look like LaToya Jackson. Shows you how much I know.”

It was my stop. I wished her a good day. And, then, I made a mental note to only wear the little Apple ear buds when on public transit. …Because, sadly, I’m not sure everyone will agree that Pat Benatar is cool. However, I am fairly certain that she is cooler than LaToya Jackson.

February 5, 2007. Uncategorized. 26 comments.

BEACHED

I woke up this morning feeling much better! And, so did the San Francisco weather! It was a near perfect day filled with sun! I took my DayQuil, headed down to Church Street where I caught the N MUNI bound for Ocean Beach! And, there is where I stayed for most of the day. Not doing anything other than letting the comfort of the beach take me over. It was almost perfect excepting that B was not with me. He is Canada caring for his family, but he returns tomorrow night.

And, so much seems to be coming together. I’ve a job with great potential! I’m in love! Ing is moved into her new fab studio apartment! It is a sunny space filled with positive energy and I can see that Ing is about to sprinkle her magic and turn it into a gorgeous showplace! And, she is only a six minute walk from our place! Yay! Last night she and I roamed about several stores securing a few essentials for her place. I expressed my desire for a glitter tree which seems to be totally impossible to locate. Ing advised that I should simply find some rich soil, spit on it and a glitter tree would be destined to grow! As much as I love that idea I doubt that this would actually happen. Besides, I don’t think a potted glitter plant fits into the carefully designed scheme of my architect hubby. Oh well.

As I looked out at the waves, the surfers, the lovers and the lonely my mind began to fly about. I thought about so much:
what is the true meaning of life?
how do we get this horrible war to end?
what needs to be done to create a national healthcare plan that really works?
how early will I need to get to The Castro Theatre to secure a seat for the new David Lynch film?
when will there be a new Goldfrapp CD?
And, as I thought about all of these questions I noticed that several lady bugs had decided to land on my Diesel sneakers. Good luck, I think! I carefully lifted each one off and sat them down on the sand and watched them fight against the cool breeze to find a new resting place.

I noticed a lonely chap standing up closer to the shore. He seemed to be watching a couple. These two were most certainly lovers. The lonely guy watched as the couple kissed and a place inside me stung. I would have liked to have walked over and patted the dude on the back and let him know that it will all work out. He is not alone. But, that would have been invasive. I snapped a picture. …but, you know, moments like those can’t be captured with digital technology. Bittersweet moments on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I could feel the sun begin to burn my cheeks and the sand in my pockets must have been getting heavy because I knew it was time to turn back for home.

February 4, 2007. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

PIECES

I wanted to write a post today. I had a funny one in mind, but I don’t feel all that funny at the moment. I thought about writing of something sort of political, but I don’t really feel like going on a rant. I thought about writing about the absurdity of the recent sex scandal involving our mayor. Thoughts of double-edge’d swords and such as I don’t like our mayor anyway and the realization that I’d be roaming into the “political” and my roaming fees are all used up for the weekend.

I’ve got a cold. No big deal. But, colds can make you feel like shit but not so shitty that you can really claim you’re sick. However, being a Saturday I thought it best to just chill at home. This means I’ve slept about 12 hours.

I’ve had the stereo on since about 2AM and the following song was playing as I came out of my Thera-Flu-induced slumber. It struck me that the lyrics rather sum up how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks. I wonder if we don’t all feel this way from time to time. I suspect we do.
“Little boy lost in search of little boy found.
You go on wondering, wandering stumbling, tumbling ’round…
When will you find what’s on the tip of your mind?
Why are you blind to all you ever were?
Never were.
Really are.
Nearly are.
Little boy false in search of little boy true
Will you be ever done traveling?
Always unraveling…
You’re running away could leave you farther astray.
And, as for fishing in streams for pieces of dreams —
those pieces will never fit.
What is the sense of it?
Little boy blue, don’t let your little sheep roam.
It’s time.
Come blow your horn.
Meet them on.
Look and see.
Can you be far from home?”
M. & A. Bergman/M. LeGrand

…and, then, I figured it was time to get my ass out of bed and into the day. You’ve got to greet it, look and see. And, ya never know. Today might be more of a Captain & Tennille/ABBA/Andy Gibb kind of day than a Michele LeGrand/Edith Piaf/Judy Garland one.

At least, this is my hope.

Me, a dose of DayQuill, a Diet Coke, a chocolate something and I’m off to explore the world!! Or, the Castro at the very least! …I should be helping Ing today, but I know I would just fall down and break something important! As of this afternoon! Ing will be our neighbor! We’re going to have a slumber party tonight! Tho, I suspect she will be passed out from exhaustion and I will be passed out from some type of cold medication designed to stop my head from bursting open. Either way, we shall have fun!

February 3, 2007. Uncategorized. 13 comments.

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