Dear Matty…

So, this is an idea that I sort of “borrowed” from the No Milk Please blog I love so much. Ok. Ok. I have stolen the idea, but it makes no nevermind. The problem is I don’t yet know how to create links in wordpress and I’m far to lazy to bother to do so. Anyway, No Milk got his friend to answer pervy questions on blog ala a gay Dear Abby. And, dammit! I want to solve everyone’s problems if I can’t resolve my own!

So, I give you “Dear Matty”
…yes, I can solve your problems. …I think. …Maybe. Well, I’ll give it a shot. So, either post a question here or email me and I shall post my answers in a day or two.

I asked fellow blogger, the Lovely Meredith, to join me in this experiment. …she could do a Dear Meredith thing. Once again, far too stupid to provide you with a link to her site. Just look at my blog roll!

Anyway, fire ’em away!

February 10, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. Alan replied:

    At my age I’m supposed to be happily married to my man and have two cats.

    Why is it that I’m still loving being single? Am I normal?

  2. joe replied:

    why do I need both of my hands to jerk off?

  3. Karyn replied:


    Yeah. I don’t think I have any pervy questions you can answer, but um, can I just say, I LOVE this idea, and the picture made me laugh so hard I snorted diet Pepsi up my nose and made my mother jump about five feet in the air as she walked past.

  4. Brookelina replied:

    Why are all the good men either taken or gay?

  5. ing replied:

    Dear Matty:

    What should I do on Valentine’s Day while everyone else is looking for a place to display all of their flowers & stuff? Should I get a cat to dote on in my old age?

    Alonefrapp in SF

  6. Dessie replied:

    Matty –

    Does the sentence for manslaughter commute in relation to the number of years married?

    – Curious in London

  7. joe replied:

    Hmm, I woke up with lots more questions this morning.

    So dearest Matty,

    Why do I only seem to like married/taken men, men on the rebound, men who cannot have relationships? Genuine, bonafide single men, I seem to loathe them.

    How do I tell these uninteresting single men, that I’m not interested in much more than a friendship with them?

    Why can’t they make Dr. Who sexy?

    Is it possible to exploit zero-point energy?

    Why are you so adorable?

    questing for callipygian love in Toronto

  8. matty03 replied:

    Dearest Hearts!

    Rest assured I shall answer one and all very soon!

    First, I must see the new David Lynch film. …that is happening later this afternoon. Then, I will most likely share my views on this film with you — this will only help me to better tap into the correct guidance for each of you!

    And THEN, I shall be posting the answers to your questions!!! Stay tuned and feel free to keep ’em coming in!

    kisses from GayTown,

  9. sortedlives replied:

    Dear Matty,

    Here is a question:

    If someone with multiple personality kills themselves, is it murder or suicide? I need to know…

    Hugs and Kisses —


  10. ginab replied:

    Matty, How can I stop cracking up over your new do?

    And otherwise what is it about me that attracts pervs, pigs, egoists, and all the other heart-eating thieves? Should I change my perfume?


  11. hot lunch replied:

    OOOH I’M excited to see how this goes!!

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