OH, ENRIQUE!

I wanted to create art for you today. I wanted to write something of import. Or, possibly share my angst with you. I wanted to attempt to solve the world’s problems. I wanted to inspire anyone who might happen upon my bit of space. I so wanted on infuse you with energy, hope, love and knowledge. But, then, it happened. Yes, it is true. My iPod stumbled upon a track I had not heard in at least 3 years. Without warning I went from Led Zeppelin to Enrique Iglesias and I found myself “jamming” to “Not In Love” — So, I decided to opt for the superficial vs the artistic.

My iPod has now played both of the Enrique Iglesias CD’s I sold last year. I didn’t even know I had ripped them to my iTunes! I’m smarter than I thought!

And, I’ve been snap-happy-walkin’ to the joy that is Enrique ever since. In fact, I now have my UK edition of the “7” CD playing thru our home speakers! At top volume!! And, I’m singing!!!!

“…California calling 20 miles to go,
And i don’t, i don’t know,
Should i turn around or should i leave you alone?
No i don’t, i don’ t know
I don’t know,
No i don’t know…

Ah ah ah ah,
Ah ah ah ah…”

Well, okay. So, Enrique isn’t a great lyricist and he might not be the best singer to stand in front of a microphone. However, he looks damn good when he does! And, his music puts a spring in my step and a song of note in my heart! Not an actual pop artist such as Kylie or Robbie — Enrique was simply born in the spotlight and decided that he just wanted to be really hot, pose in vid-clips for MTV and go out with lots of blonde bimbo girls. He is just a straight party boy who wants to have some fun! And, what is wrong with that? Well, ok, probably a lot but lets not get into that.

And, his music is either lovely sugar syrup power pop ballads or great latino dance songs with a beats and hooks that are impossible to not move toward! You just have to give in! And let the music flow over you! Tho, not gay. One suspects he just should be. …but, I ask. What has happened to our hot Enrique? Where has he gone? I think it has been at least 3 years since his last CD fell! What has happened? Did his father get too jealous and have him iced or was it the fact that he had his mole lanced off? I always suspected that the mole was the secret to his “pop magic”

Anyway, I think it is time for a come back for Mr. Enrique Iglesias! We all need the romance of that dance! And, it was kind of fun to walk about Van Ness and not think about anything. It was such fun! A guilty pleasure I believe we like to call it. You know you shouldn’t be enjoying it, but how can one resist? Yes. I think the world needs a new Enrique record. Or, possibly a new one from Goldfrapp. You know, not just cool dance remixes but a new record full of their glitter magic. Tho, I guess the world might not mind getting some peace. But, great pop can go a long way sometimes!

January 19, 2007. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

WHERE WILL THE FUTURE LEAD?

Well, the interviewing is going very well! Fingers crossed! I feel a bit bleary-eye’d from being at the laptop too much.

I can’t help but wonder where and in one job I will end up.

My goal is to find a position which will allow me to be a part of something that does or provides something good for the world. You know, not just to be a part of a money making engine. I no longer want to be another brick in the wall that keeps people out (and in) —

Thus far, I am headed in that direction. I have an interview next week about which I am really excited! It is not something I can write about, but I think it would be right down my alley! And, I mean that in a G-rated way. Minds out of the gutter, people!

…sometimes I worry that I think so much about the future and I forget to fully enjoy the present. I guess this is a rather pedestrian thought or fear. But, Dessie sent me a cool email today showing what can be done with just a single sheet of paper. It was amazing. The best I can do with a sheet of plain paper is to make a poorly constructed plane.

Actually, that is not really true. I can also make one of those tiny footballs. Like the one Emillio made and used in THE BREAKFAST CLUB! Remember when he made that little football and then did the sound of the roaring crowd as the other Brat Packers watched on in confusion. …And, of course this reminds me to confess that I harbor a deep crush on Judd Nelson. Not so much from this era when he really just annoyed me. But, more from that “Suddenly Susan” to current era. He has aged oddly and is really quite sexy. Ah, yes. Well, of all the celebrities I pick modern era Judd Nelson with which to be infatuated. No wonder I worry about my future. Still. It is the truth. He is hot. And, it is only a fantasy.

I think I need to get some fresh air.

Oh, and my Blythe doll (see way above) is looking at me far too much. And, I am farily certain she is judging me. Silently. …In that passive-aggressive Blythe kind of way. But, I love my Blythe doll. But, if she isn’t careful — I just might turn her eyes to red. That would serve her right!

January 18, 2007. Uncategorized. 21 comments.

TEN THINGS YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN

When the day takes a turn for the worse and you begin to feel like crawling up into the fetal position under the table upon which you’ve been typing — DON’T DO IT!!

Take heart, dear friends. There are things one can do to lift your spirits, but there are also things one can do which will most certainly lower them. For instance, at moments like these it is best to avoid:
a) thinking too much
b) listening to your Joni Mitchell LP collection
c) reading that book by Virginia Woolf
d) visiting bridges
e) walking into discount stores

No, instead focus on things that will make you feel great again! Here is a list that always seems to work for me!

1! Yes! If you live in the Bay Area of California, like moi, a jaunt up and down the wacked out streets of Nob or Russian Hills is bound to bring a smile to your face and some cardio for your heart! Even better if the sun is out and the fog has yet to roll in! Don’t be afraid to make eye contact and smile! You might help a tourist get even more lost than they already are or you could possibly make some new eccentric pals! Of course, if you happen to be a bit too close to the Nob Hill Theatre you might end up being mistaken for a man-whore. However, an offer of pay for your time is always a bit of pick-up. But, don’t take up the offer no matter how the high the price! You’re an adult now and have left that sort of behavior in the very distant past! Just smile, say no and feel pleased that someone wants to sex you up for money.

2! Be sure to plug in your iPod and tune in a steady mix of Goldfrapp! Yes, you see Goldfrapp has been scientifically proven to lift the spirits and will often force you to simply give in and dance about til a kind soul decides to toss some glitter your way. Also, it really will enhance your walk about the places in San Francisco in which only the very wealthy can live. Oh, and try not to think about that aspect. It might bum you out a little. Anyway, you might be able to swing a studio in the TenderNob. …If you have a job and some money saved. Wait. Let’s move on to #3!

3! Chocolate cookies! Eat some! And, be sure to wash them down with some pure Diet Coke — preferably from a diner fountain! Remember – if you opt to skip lunch and dinner those cookies won’t go to your waist line or ass! And, the chemical rush of chocolate mixed with Diet Coke is total magic. Like watching XANADU on a rainy day! You’ll be destined to laugh, roll your eyes and feel the need to pull on your rollerskates and take to the streets! In fact, merge a viewing of XANADU with this one if you’re able. Eating a cookie as you run up and down the streets of San Francisco can be a bit of challenge. You have to sit down, anyway. So, sure! Squeeze in a viewing of Olivia Newton-John’s career sinking turn! …we have to believe it’s magic. …and, you will!

4! Nothing says “Hey, I’m feeling better about life” than singing the score to YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE to total strangers. And, they often enjoy it and might even toss some spare change your way! I learned the joys of random singing in public after Ing dared me to do so upon trying to find my brother when he visited last year. I used to sing in the public eye all of the time with my Texas pals as a youngster! But, back then we either sang the score of ANNIE to annoy or YOUR SISTER IS ONE from the flick TIMES SQUARE just to see how people might react. However, I suggest sticking to Debbie Boone. Also, avoid singing to anyone under the age of 20. For some reason, kids tend to either get very afraid or violent upon hearing a stranger sing Debbie Boone. Who knows why? Don’t worry about it. Just find an unsuspecting adult and sing your heart out. Actually, this can be done while enjoying item #1. Tourists by and large love it when you walk up and sing to them. Even if it is mushy 70’s MOR love songs. All the better, actually. Feel free to sing whatever you like, but do avoid singing Journey. People don’t need your shit that much, babe.

5. Anything and everything having to do with Barbra Streisand perks my spirits right up!Excepting that cameo on “Miami Vice” back when she was fucking Don Johnson. Watching that kind of hurts. But, if you’re in a Barbra Buttah frame of mind — just jump in! Um, you might opt to also avoid THE WAY WE WERE and the LP of the same name. They are a wee bit sad. Actually, they are tragic. Damn it! Katie and Hubbard were meant to be together! And, when she wipes away his blonde locks before saying goodbye forever! And, yes, well it is the good times we will remember whenever we remem — Wait. Give me a second. Ok. I’m fine. Just a brief bit of crying. All better now. So, yes. Skip the screen moments with Don Johnson and Robert Redford — but all other Babs territory will most likely make you feel wonderously creamy! Why, just yesterday while killing time waiting for Ing I sat in a cafe populated by older folks who I think might have been waiting to die as they sipped coffee — but Barbra came on the radio singing “Lost Inside Of You” and several 70-something ladies swooned in happiness of memories long gone. Wait. Maybe #5 is not such a good suggestion if you’re in a cafe with old people. Ok. Well, “The Main Event” is a very snap happy song! Girls and children all over the free world are jazzercising to it as I type this!

6. Eat some more chocolate!

7. Have a bit more Diet Coke.

8. Play the “Bad Girls” LP disc 1 side A — this is a great moment at the tail end of classic disco just before Ms. Summer decided to go all Christian on our ass. Great album and it just makes you bounce! Toot! Toot! Beep! Beep! Yeah, rock it! Work it!

9. Visit your friends who work at independent book stores! Then, act like you don’t know them and demand hard cover novelizations of bad movies. This is always fun! Or, go to Tiffanys and attempt to be as rude to the staff as they are to you. Sure, you’ll most likely be escorted out but it is great fun! Oh, and as the guard pushes you outside ask him if he would like to meet you at that very spot the next day for breakfast! If he gives you a cruel answer ask him how much Tiffanys inventory is affordable with his shitty salary! That’s fun! However, he may hit you. If he does, you might have potential for a lawsuit and could make some money. However, he would need to hit you pretty hard because you sort of edged him on. So, take care with pursuing that money-making-venture. Oh, and demanding horrible books from your friends at their cool stores can only go on for so long before they start giving you that, “Oh, God. Matty, please stop!” look. I guess with #9 you just don’t want to push it too far. A little of #9 goes a long way.

10! Now, this is the best option for lifting the spirits! Yes!!!! Go to the beach and watch the surfers do their thing! Just hide your eyes if they get mistaken for seals and attacked by sharks — or clubbed by fishermen. Not your issue, but you don’t want to see that when you’re feeling down. But, back to the original plan — the beach is good for the soul. Let the water spray you, let the scents fill your senses and listen to the sounds of crushing waves, laughter and seagulls. The beach is my fave place on earth. If I can get to a beach I just feel better. However, in San Francisco — avoid looking over at the Golden Gate Bridge as there are a large number of people jumping off it to horrible deaths all day long. At least so I am told. So, just look the other direction.


I hope my list helped or will help you in the future. Because no matter how happy you might be at the moment you’re reading this — something will bring you down at any given moment. Sorry, but this is a given. Be it unemployment, disease, death, Goldie Hawn, taxes, economic problems, Goldie Hawn, a tooth ache, etc. — Something is going to make you feel bad. The important thing is to have easy access to options that will lift you back up where you belong!

January 17, 2007. Uncategorized. 23 comments.

At The Rodeo or My On-Going Job Search…

I started job hunting a few days before Christmas. I’ve sent my resume and applications out to 72 job postings and am registered on just about every job board search engine out there. As of today at 11:00 AM I’ve had 5 phone calls — 3 of those were from head hunters who were quite simply wasting my time.

…as some one once bellowed across a large conference table, “This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!”

However, I’m not above the position of Rodeo Clown. I could do that! I like pink wigs and jumping in and out of barrels with bulls charging. Now, that my friends, is a natural high!

I just need a job. I was up til 3AM last night. I was up at 7 and have been at the laptop here at my fave wired cafe job searching since 8:30. No leads for today as of yet and I’ve got under $200 in the bank. And, I fear I am in dire need of a nap!

But, I’m not in a frenzy. I refuse to freak out. It will work out. $200 can be stretched out farther than you might think. And, soon I’ll be lounging by a pool with virtual promises of fortune at my feet. However, for now this is not the case.

It is interesting to note that I was in this same position last year at this same time. And, one must note that it all worked out quite well. I know that will be the case this time around, too. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not stressed out, worried and wondering how to make things flow. But, flow and work things shall!

And, a job will come. From having worked in the corporate structure for years and knowing how things go and flow. It can take employers up to 4 weeks before they start calling for interviews. I know and understand this.

Interviewing is like auditioning. And, I’ve not even really reached that stage yet. So, I sit here.

Poised.

Ready and waiting for my close up.

Today, I am dressed quite casual as there will be no in-person interviews today. I wear a brown JCrew sweater with orange shirt under, a pair of vintage flare-leg’d jeans (not quite full on bell bottoms) and my fave pink/brown Diesel sneakers. I’m attempting to work that 48 hour shadow look. But, I didn’t get enough sleep. So, if this cafe is my Shwab’s I could be in trouble. Still. One presses forward.

Next week I shall begin looking into part time work. I hope to enjoy a full-on “Alice” moment where I pull the “Help Wanted” sign off the window and walk in the diner fully confident and ready for a big hug from a surly cook, a smart ass waitress with big hair and a somewhat retarded waitress to jump out from behind the counter spilling all the straws! “The job is yours!” I just hope that I have a better uniform and am not required to speak with a thick Jersey accent or anything. However, a buck’s a buck.

No matter what happens when I hit the pavement next week, I hope I can find more offers than before. If you remember, last year the only retail employers who wanted me were sex shops and a bath house. …tho, I was promised that there was only light janitorial duty it just didn’t seem fitting that I would work in a bath house. Also, one of the sex shop managers creeped me out and it did cross my mind that some tweak’d out queen was likely to storm in at the end of my shift demanding that I examine her dildo because it didn’t work properly. I wonder if they would have provided latex gloves? I didn’t want to ask.

I’ve been mistaken for a hustler three times this month but I don’t think that is an option either as B might get a bit upset with me were I to pursue this line of work.
“But, baby — $80 in 45 minutes! And, under the table cash!”
…um, no. I don’t think so. I don’t want to discuss or think much about why I’ve been mistaken for a hustler as of late. A friend advised that I should just stop with the half shirts and short shorts and hanging outside of BlowBuddies so often. …But, I don’t think that is it. It must be a vibe I give off. I guess. I don’t get it. I don’t mind it. I just don’t understand it. I really did discuss it with a friend and this friend told me the same thing had happpend to them. So, maybe it just happens to everyone. I take it as a compliment. However, the three individual would-be-johns seemed to be particularly kinky. I will not go in to detail.

There is a job waiting for me and I hope it will not require me to fiddle with used sex toys, be chased by bulls or befriend wise-craking women named ‘Flo’

But, please — cross your fingers and send me some good vibes! I need all I can get!

January 16, 2007. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

QUIET COMFORT
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For the last couple of days I have been doing my very best to provide comfort to someone I love who has lost a very important person in his life. From my own personal losses I know that there is very little another can do which will make one feel better. Very often one learns from what is done wrong.

I had friends and lovers who simply pulled away with a quick, “I’m so very sorry” …and, by their absence their words left me without meaning or worth. I had friends who attempted to comfort me by touching and telling me that they knew just how I felt. This was the worst attempts that any individuals made to help me. It is my opinion that there is just nothing worse than to tell someone in grief or pain that you know how they feel. You don’t. How could you or I know how another really feels? Grief is filled with so many horrible elements. And, we all process and feel things differently. And, somehow — their touch as they said this to me made the impact all the worse. It made me angry.

However, at the time, I swallowed that anger and accepted the hugs and the comments because I know that these moments are awkward for everyone. It why so many avoid the grieving or the sick. It is almost too much for many to handle. I understand that and accept it. I don’t really understand why some are so weak that they are unable to get past that fear or awkwardness. But, I have learned to do my best not to push my own resolve on to others. At least, I try.

Anyway, this are a few of the things I learned from the loss of my father, grandmother, friends and ex-lovers.

So, I stay close. I touch, I hold and I try to provide comfort. But, comfort comes quietly and slowly. Everyone finds it in his or her own way. I stay close. I close my eyes and pray that he will find some comfort in the knowledge that he is not alone and that there are many who care about him.

I think the worst aspect is having to sit close as the other person crumbles. And, all the worse, when that crumbling is internal and can only be viewed in a small gesture of his hand, a pause between words, a gentle look from his eyes or a hunger in his touch. You reach out and hold on. And, in a whisper — I think a little comfort might find the way to the human heart that aches.

I think there the stages of grief are infinite. Luckily, so are the stages of joy and life.

“…Put your hang ups in the closet
Put the fears you have in a box
Come on baby pull up your socks
And sunbeams will shine
They will give you light in the dark
Go and give yourself a head start…”

January 15, 2007. Uncategorized. 10 comments.

Welcome to my new bit of space!

Well, here I am filling in my new bit of space.
I’m just jumping in feet first.

mediumsize3.jpg I am learning as I go but it seems pretty cool and easy! Welcome!

January 14, 2007. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

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5 USELES BITS OF INFORMATION ABOUT ME

My BloggerPal, Old Cheeser (who is neigher old or cheezzy), has spotted me out to create a list of 5 things about myself. Here goes with some cool photos I “stole” from the myspace of this really cool guy named Bud. And I can’t figure out how to post a link to his site on myspace. Sorry, Bud!!

While I do love to eat scrambled eggs and omelettes — I am unable to eat them if anyone says or I think of the word “egg” …Yes, I have egg issues.

I know the dialog of all the characters in the following movies — each time I watch them I have to fight myself not to scream out the dialog in camp fashion as they screen: CARRIE, A STAR IS BORN, THE WAY WE WERE, VALLEY OF THE DOLLS & MURIEL’S WEDDING. “Bill! Bill! Katie wants to keep in the line about the black market! Bill!” …see? I can’t help myself.

Because my mother forgot that she left me at the cinema — I sat thru 4 continuous screenings of FIDDLER ON THE ROOF. I hate that stupid movie. I didn’t even enjoy it during the first screeing. I remember being so upset that the only other movie playing was some John Wayne thing. However, I almost opted to watch it when I realized I was about to hear “Do You Love Me” for a fourth time.

I have played “Ride A White Horse” on my iPod 351 times since October. While this might seem a bit obsessive — it is a really great song! I do so love my Goldfrapp and require mulitple daily doeses of their glitter disco magic!

Every year from my 4th thru to my 11th year of life I insisted on sending Barbra Streisand a birthday card. My Grandmother would help me pick the card out and we would mail it to Columbia Records. And for all of those years I would receive a glossy autographed photo. I still like to pretend that they were signed by her.

Well, there are my 5 useless facts about me. I know I am supposed to assign this to 5 other people, but I don’t wanna. Please do one if so inclined and if you’ve not done one already! I also find I’m too lazy to check my list for spellling or error. Sorry.

January 12, 2007. Uncategorized. 12 comments.

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3 PICTURES OF MOM…

I don’t have that many pictures. A few years ago I decided it was crazy to keep so many. Anyway, here are a few of my mom.
…one of her few wedding pictures. I got this from my Uncle who had taken them but lost them for over 34 years. LOL!

…the back of this picture reads “New Orleans, me and matt 1976” …so, this would have been taken around the time of many/most of these quotes.

…this is a fairly recent picture prior to her dying her hair blonde. I think it is about 6 or 7 years old now. This was after my father’s death. No date on the back of the photo or anything.

I used to have this great picture of her posing in a new dress while holding up this potted ivy she loved. I guess I lost it. It was really a great shot from 1978 during the time she was divorced from my father. Oh well.

January 12, 2007. Uncategorized. 9 comments.

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WHAT MOMMY TOLD ME…

I have been on the phone with my mother quite a bit as of late. She is well-intentioned and chock full of advice which she is quick to dispense. She is also more than a little eccentric. I was thinking about some of the things she has said to me over the years and how I do enjoy teasing her about them. I have a good memory and am quite comfortable in putting them in quotes.

“No. Mommy has to get her hair done. It is important I look pretty this week. So, you hold still or the bowl will slip and your bangs will not be even! It will not be my fault!”

“The next time I holler for you I want you to come runnin’! Now, your mommy was lost in the house again and you should have come to me!”

“Your Daddy doesn’t like this song, but it is very important! Learn the words! Cher is an American Indian and she understands how horrible people can be when you’re different!”

“Honey, look. If I put it all on this plate it looks more happy. Like Christmas.”

“Go tell your Daddy that if he shots another hole in my living room wall I am going to put one into his head!”

Upon hearing ‘Love to Love You Baby’ for the first time:
Mommy what is that sound Donna Summers is making?
“Her name is Donna Summer and she is pretendin’ to have a heart attack. That’s all, baby. Just dance!”

“I will take you to see TOMMY if you promise to shut the hell up about it once you see the damned thing! My God!”

“Matt, doesn’t mommy look pretty and tan with this gel on? Your daddy doesn’t like it, but I think I sparkle!”

Frustrated that I was not interested in her offer of a Farrah Fawcett or Peter Frampton poster instead of the two cool Roger Daltrey and Barbra Streisand posters my Aunt Gladys bought for me when I was visiting her in Houston: “I just don’t understand you. Now, you listen to your mother. In a few years no one is even going to remember Roger Daltrey, TOMMY or that loud Barbra Streisand! Now, Peter Frampton and Farrah are here to stay! Most little boys would love to have these posters. What about a Star Wars poster instead of one of those?”

“No! You are NOT wearing those pants to school! Go back and put your bell bottoms back on! I don’t want you lookin’ like poor white trash!”

Mom, why is it called a blow job?
“I don’t know, baby. But, I tell you one thing — I’d rather suck on an old man’s runny nose than put any man’s penis in my mouth!”

“Baby? Is Elton John singing ‘electric boobs’?”
yes
“Well, that is just silly isn’t it?”

After hearing that John Lennon had been assassinated: “This is so sad. He wrote some great music. But, you know I always preferred The Monkees to The Beatles.”

“Well, I’m sorry but I think Christmas trees are prettier when they are spray painted blue!”

“I always knew you were gay. It’s probably my fault. I should have never allowed you to listen to Barbra Streisand! And, are you stoned Mister? Don’t answer that question! I don’t want to know!”

…and, her most recent advice given after she learned I had quit my job: “Well, hon. I think you need to drive to LA and get yourself on one of these game shows! You know all this stuff about movie stars! You’d win a million dollars. I’m serious! Get out there and make some real money!”

January 11, 2007. Uncategorized. 14 comments.

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PROMOTING MATILDA…
I recently discovered that one of my favorite writers/thinkers/editors lives in San Francisco and keeps a blog! Most cool! I discovered this when Amazon.com sent me an email to “alert” me that Matt Bernstein Sycamore (AKA “Matilda”) had a new book of collected essays out. I clicked in to just take a look and discovered a link to his blog!

Well, yesterday afternoon, after a day on the job boards, I ran to an indie book store and picked up a copy. Unemployment and low funds be damned! Oh, and support indie book stores if you’re able. Just say no to Borders! If you can! But, if you’ve no choice – you can find nearly all of his work on Amazon.com. Actually, you can find nearly everything on Amazon.com. But, still — support your local book merchant!!!

Tho, I have written about his work in this blog more than a couple of times I wanted to post a link to his blog and tell you all a bit more about him.

Matt Bernstein Sycamore first came to my attention in the 90’s when me and my ex temporarily moved to San Francisco. I remember hearing his “drag” persona being discussed at a gay club and reading a few quotes from him in the BAR. He was pissing a lot of gay boys off at the time. As I remember it, he was trying to bring attention to the vapidness that had become the SF Gay Pride Parade — and the vapidness of gay culture and the one-sided nature of the most vocal of the gay male population in SF. He had some potent and interesting things to say. At the time, I was too absorbed in my father’s death and matters of love and work to fully focus on these issues. But his ideas and his name stuck with me.

Several years ago I came across a copy of his novel, “Pulling Taffy” which totally captivated me. It reads like pages torn from the journal of a boy fighting to survive the scars inflicted by incest and abuse — and fighting in the most frustrating ways possible. And, though the book is filled with tragedy, confusion, sadness, horrors, addiction and transgression — it also has a spirit of hope. It is about surviving. I related to so much in it. Though, I often found myself wanting to shake the narrator and pull him to safety — I realized that these feelings were really aimed at myself.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been abused sexually by one of your parents you know that this level of damage never goes away. There is an unspoken pain that we survivors of violent abuse carry and fight all of the time. It impacts us on all levels. And, results in a sort of familial war that never seems to end. I am still fighting it out with my mother for standing back while my father hurt me. I guess, in some ways, I always will. I love my mother dearly. But, I will never understand. Nor will she. Shit. I loved my father. It hurt when he died, but the anger I have at him for what he did. …I can’t capture it in words. This book pulled me in and pulled me out. Amazing bit of writing. He has written a number of stories, essays and pulled together anthologies — I have avoided this one which I believe deals with incest that I think might be too disturbing to me. However, some day I will read it.

Shortly before I left Boston for good and returned to San Francisco to save myself, I purchased a copy of Bernstein Sycamore’s collected anthology of viewpoints on queer culture/theory/movement called “That’s Revolting” this collection made me cheer, angry and caused me to re-evaluate every idea I had about being a member of queer culture. I don’t agree with a number of the ideas represented. I support a good number of them. And, some still leave me wondering how I stand. This is revolutionary thinking at its best! It caused me to seek out more of Matt’s writing and editorial collections. It caused me to seek out the writings of some of the other writers in the collection. I even ended up being an acquaintance of one of the writers thru a romantic encounter I enjoyed.

There are more than few incredible works out there for which Matt is responsible. This collection really fascinated me. As someone who once “dabble’d” in a bit of sex work as a phone sex operator — it was an interesting read. And, an honest one filled with challenging ideas, humor, experiences, sadness and opinions. Like all work in which he is involved or creates — he stimulates ideas that challenge you as a reader, a thinker and a citizen. Matilda enjoys shaking things up. He pushes the envelope off the counter and lets it fly away with the wind out the door.

This new collection is called “Nobody Passes” I believe it will be exploring the nature of gender identity within the context of our rather rigid societal “norms” —- I think this collection goes far beyond the queer theory label. I can’t wait to get started reading! Later today!

Anyway, I hope I’ve stirred your interest and decide to check out his work or stop by his blog. It is listed along with all my fave blogs to the left, but here is a

  • LINK.

    Here is what some cool folks are saying about “Nobody Passes”:

    ““In this beautiful, surprising collection of essays,
    Matildaa brings together the smartly told, diverse
    stories of social refuseniks. The result is a
    provocative critique of the act of passing, and a
    lively, challenging, often moving account of the
    pleasures and pains of not passing. Nobody Passes
    kicks ass. It will mess you right up.” —Joshua Gamson, author of The Fabulous Sylvester

    “These essays, in all of their militant heterogeneity,
    with all of their ease and rage at being on margins,
    chart some of the most important ground on which the
    desire for a new society is finding expression. They
    show rebels that we are far from alone in feeling such
    desire.” David Roediger, author of Working Toward Whiteness:
    How America’s Immigrants Became White

    ““Nobody Passes is a fascinating example of how
    feminism and gender studies can support radically new
    identities that develop at the speed of life —or it may
    be part of the end of identity politics as known so
    far.” Naomi Zack, Professor of Philosophy, University of
    Oregon, author of Inclusive Feminism: A Third Wave
    Theory of A Womens Commonality

    January 11, 2007. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

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