MY FAILURE TO LAUNCHLast night was filled with rain and wind. Normally that is an ideal recipe for great sleep! However, this did not hold true. I’m honestly not all that stressed out at the moment. I am not totally broke just yet and I’ve really only been job hunting for one full week when one discounts the holdidays. So, I anticipate calls starting tomorrow or early next week as this is the first week back to work for most. But, yesterday I spent a bit too much time on job boards. As a rule, I try to limit myself to 5 hours a day. Any more than that and I start to go bleary-eye’d and freaked out. But there were lots of postings yesterday and a couple of phone calls — so I kept going. I ended up with a massive headache.

To say that B is stressed out due to some VERY serious and horrible family situations in Canada would be a vast understatement.

Last night was filled with tossing/turning/bad dreams/limbs akimbo …and me getting pushed off the bed. B is lucky if he got any “rest” at all and I think he was only asleep for about 4 hours. Just by luck I got in bed a bit earlier so I did get to sleep from about 11PM till about 2:30AM, but after that I don’t think I slept much. I finally gave up at about 3:15AM. I got up, took my blankets and pillow to the living room and crawled into the sofa. …And, was unable to fall asleep again for about two hours. My head felt like it was going to explode. 2 cups of tea and 4 Tylenol later I started to drift off to sleep when I heard B’s alarm going off. He somehow managed to go to work. The poor baby looked exhausted but he leaves for Canada tonight and had to go into the office. I’m getting a micron. So, I don’t know that a job search is happening today. I just tried writing a new cover letter and tweaking my resume, but the results SUCKED!

So, I am about to lay down for a bit which could translate into half the day. I can just tell. I have failed to launch. But, there is always tomorrow.

Oh, and I do not care much for Jim Carrey and consider Joel Schumacher to be one of the worst film directors of all time. BUT, Jim Carrey looks soooooo HOT in their new horror movie. …I may have to see it just to watch him move it about it. I wonder if I will be able to convince Magical Ing to watch it with me? Who needs high art when we can watch a hot-looking-long-haired Jim Carrey shake it about for 90 minutes in a lame horror movie?!?!? I think I will try to sell her on the idea of the plot which seems to revolve around a book Jim Carrey’s wife buys for him at an INDEPENDENT book store! This, alone, might appeal to Ing. A hot looking guy with long hair reading a book purchased from an independent book merchant. OK. I will probably be seeing it alone. Oh well. I just hope this headache is gone by then.

Stanfield out. (um, I can’t believe I just wrote that…)

January 4, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. ing replied:

    Matty, if only that hot-looking long-haired man who bought the book in the independent bookstore was not Jim Carrey (who wasn’t bad in Eternal Sunshine).

    I have had a failure to launch myself, here at the beginning of the year. That will end tomorrow. I have stuck to my toughest resolution.

    Make Byron drink lots of tea with milk and eat cake. I wish all this wasn’t happening to him. Life is freaky, isn’t it?

  2. ing replied:


    You are going to get an awesome job! I wish I didn’t love my own job so very much.

  3. matty replied:

    Oh, I really liked him in ETERNAL SUNSHINE. …but this movie will suck. But cute boys in bad movies! Yay!

    And, yes. Launching is not so easy sometimes.

    I know. I wish I knew how to help B. Life is just shitty sometimes. He is gone till next week. In Canada. Poor baby. I miss him.

    I WILL get an awesome job and my hope is that it will not be doing light janitorial duty at The Nob Hill Sinema, but one never knows.

    You’re always telling me I should write. I think you should manage a bookstore that you might co-own or something. It could happen.

  4. joe replied:

    sending warm thoughts to you and B!!!!

  5. Me replied:

    Hey hon, look it’s 3:30 am and I’m not the least bit tired. Way to go insomnia! Tea and Tylenol you say?
    hmm, might react with all the caffiene surging through my system.
    You have NOT failed to launch. You’re simply in the middle of a regroup period.
    You’ll get a great job, you’ll stop eating weiners (unless you’ve acquired a genuine fondness for them) and life will be all rosy again.
    As for Jim Carey being cute. eww, it would take a lot of hair to disguise that fact that it was still Jim Carey for me. He looks too much like an old boyfriend I once had. That being said I think he redeemed himself in Eternal Sunshine but it’s hard for me to decide if the reason I love the movie had anything to do with him. But enjoy this new film as a playful diversion.

    Have a rest and tackle those job boards tomorrow.

  6. Robert replied:

    I hope everything will be okay with Byron, and you make sure to get plenty of rest, okay? Can’t stress out too much, in time, life finds a way to upright itself… give it some time.

    Take good care Matt. Oh btw, I saw the trailer to that horror movie… it looks baaaaaad [not in bad ass that’s!]!!

  7. Kalvin replied:

    I certinaly hope that everything goes better and that you are all able to work out things that sound complex and burdensome. I did love Eternal Sunshine as well, but far from being a blight on a career I would say it was quite the reverse. And trust me, I dragged JR to Casino Royal, and while it was okay, I’m still kicking myself over it. Really bad choice and really bad movie. But nice abs, maybe there is some redemption to that, but I think the sexiness comes mostly from the way he carries himself more than anything else.

  8. matty replied:

    Joe – Thanks, sweetie! Stay warm!!!!

    Lovely Meredith! I think that other post was my way of saying “goodbye” to hot dogs. I think. LOL! It’s just so cheap when I’m stuck with buying something to eat. Yes, those who look like old boyfriends do not provide much enjoyment! I got plenty of rest last night but now I need to do our laundry which I’ve never done myself. Laundry for two — not done since the first week of December. UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! And, the launderette is wayyyyyy down the street.

    LOL! I’ve applied to so many jobs now that they have started to blur in my head. My thought is that I will start hearing from folks next week! So, today, if I finish the laundry I shall be getting my hair did in preparation.

    Robert! I agree. Things in life have a way of carrying us thru to the resolution and we make it. Sometimes, tho, the ride just sucks. I am getting rest — it is just coming in some confused times since night before last! Got to get it back on a schedule! And, I agree — the movie looks horrible, but Jim Carrey looks so darn cute as he fights the devil and tries to not become a serial killer! I don’t know that I can resist! I just don’t! LOL!

    Kalvin — Thank you. We’ll get thru it. Life is just like this sometimes. Just gotta push thru it and be strong. That guy from the 007 movie doesn’t do anything for me. I think he is too sculpted pour moi. But, I understand. I think it is good you saw it otherwise you’d be wondering if you should have seen it and now you know you shouldn’t have. This is my logic. Well, it is sort of logical.

    Maybe I will just plug in my ETERNAL SUNSHINE DVD and be done with it. Tho, I think he looks a bit better in this horrible new movie.

  9. Old Cheeser replied:

    Soooo sorry you don’t like our very English Daniel Craig, peoples!! I don’t think he’s clasically good-looking – he has a kind of handsome ugliness – but there is definitely something about him and a great bod he surely has! And whilst Casino Royale probably won’t go down as the best film in history I still thought it was pretty good stuff.

    Good luck with the job-hunting Matty babes – blimey – 5 hours a day – sounds like you are working very hard and I don’t think you could be doing more! So relax a bit! With all the applications you’ve done you’re bound to get some returns – karmic law, sweetie!

    And it’s obvious that you’re a very creative and artistic kinda person who enjoys writing (rather like me). You deserve to find a job in that kind of field really. I know it’s what I’d rather be doing!

    Alternatively, how about a career as Barbra Streisand’s PA? I heard the diva is recruiting right now?

  10. matty replied:

    Old Cheeser — Oh, no. I think most people are in love with the New Bond! I remember first seeing him in that bio film about Sylvia Plath. I can see that he is “well fit” but I don’t like the male body to be so “formed” …looks like he must live in a gym and that bores me. But, I don’t think anyone would toss him outta the bed! LOL!
    Yes, well, I don’t think I’ll be doing much job hunting today. You would not believe this laundry. It is freaking me out and I hurt my back lugging it down the hill of a street that leads to here. So, I’m sitting waiting for the three loads to wash — then, after I put then on to dry I am off to purchase one of those cart thingys. Otherwise, me and B’s clothes will be living here from now on.
    Oh, and I could NEVER work for Babs. I get anxiety attacks just thinking she lives in the same state. It would KILL ME to see her in the flesh. Too much. Too much!

  11. hot-lunch replied:

    i’m in Canada! anything i can do to help…?

  12. matty replied:

    Hot Lunch – Oh, that is so sweet! Thank you! I know B gets lonely out there as he no longer has any friends that live in Toronto. I’ve encouraged him to send an email to Icy, but he is a bit more shy than me.

    Thank you! Hey! If ever get out to Toronto I shall have to call ya!

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