“…MY HOT DOG HAS A FIRST NAME!” But, I don’t think it’s “Oscar” — actually, I’m not too concerned with it’s name — first or last. What concerns me is what it may or may not be made of. Now, I prefer to stick with the kosher hot dog. However, I am old enough to remember what Ralph Nader found out about wieners back in the 70’s —- rat shit and drift wood if memory is serving me correctly.

My problem is that I am now on a very tight budget. So, until I land a job it is Ramen Noodles and oatmeal pour moi! Of course Diet Coke remains a “must” in my daily diet. It is my fuel. But, when I do go out it will have to be hot dogs. Here, in the Castro, we have a place called Sliders which makes a $3.95 hot dog. I had one tonight. As I retrieved it from the counter a rather large man asked if I had any idea what was in “that” —- I just looked at him and said, “Please. Let’s not go there.”

…but what is in that hot dog?

…and, I think I shall call my hot dog “Larry” instead of “Oscar”

Yes, “…my hot dog has a first name. It L-A-R-R-Y. My hot dog has no second name because I don’t know what it’s made of!”Larry? Is that you?!?!?!

January 2, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. Sorted Lives replied:

    I think L-A-R-R-Y has issues with hot dogs, dontcha think??

  2. Robert replied:

    Ahaha. I had a hot dog for lunch yesterday, from Costco, cuz I was picking up some photos. But sadly I devoured it before I could think of a name. *chomp*

    You’ll find a job soon Matt. I’m crossing my fingers for you.

  3. matty replied:

    Sorted Lives — I just hope that Larry wasn’t “in” my hot dog. …and, that Larrys of this type or any rodent type stay out of my hot dog. But, it did taste good. And, I noticed that the Internet is chock full of rodent cooking receipes which rather makes me ill. And, I don’t think those are jokes. Scary!

    Robert! Awwww! You shoulda holler’d at me! Wait, I guess I had my hot dog in the eveneing. Still, next time you’re in the castro eating a hot dog just give me a shout out — I might be near by cheap eats with wi-fi access! Thank you! I hope so! I have applied to 25 jobs thus far so I am thinking I should start to get call backs by early next week. I shall soon be heading out with my iBook to do more job hunting because that is what I’m all about. ….the hunt of the job!

  4. no milk replied:

    though not in dire straits i eat ramen noodles all the time, this and vienna sausages. and spam.

    i hope 2007 will be a good year for you. happy new year!!!

  5. matty replied:

    No Milk — I’m glad you’re not in dire straights. Just stay away from that dreaded juice of cows, milk! Happy New Year!

  6. Me replied:

    Darlin, there is no point in worrying about the crap that’s in weiners if you will insist on drinking carcinogen/brain tumor in a can! Stop!!! Seriously! Diet Coke is evil! I’ll send you a casserole if you promise to stop drinking it. hmm, on second thought, that’s probably not a particularily compelling reason to stop drinking Diet Coke. Anyway, love, I’m just looking out for you. It’s bad. Very bad.

  7. matty replied:

    Lovely Meredith! …hmmmm. What kind of casserole? LOL! I know it is quite bad for me. But, everyone I know has some sort of vice that is bad for them — such as drinking, smoking, drugs or some other such thing. So, I figure I am allowed one vice and I have opted for Diet Coke. On top of that — it keeps me pseduo thin. (I put on the pounds at xmas!) …if I had been drinking regular sugar soda I’d not fit into normal clothing! LOL!

    I will cut back! I promise.

  8. ing replied:

    Matty! Go to the supermarket and purchase a package of turkey dogs and some whole wheat buns. They’re very easy to prepare (boil, microwave, or fry), and they’re cheaper than $3.95 apiece.

    Can I name my hotdog “Jackson”?

  9. ginab replied:

    A $4 hotdog? I’d name it Cinderella. Absurd.

    Oatmeal/porridge is GOOD FOR YOU!


  10. Old Cheeser replied:

    What a very strange post, Matty!!

    They have hot dog stands in central London, in the West End etc and the hot dogs are generally conceived to be pretty dodgy and full of cr*p. Recently my hubbie had one when we were out late one night … I of course declined. Aren’t I good?

  11. matty replied:

    Ing! Yay! You’re back on line!!! No, I don’t like hot dogs — either turkey, beef, pork or rat. I just needed to get out of the house and dedided to do some people watchng in the Castro and opted for the only cheap meal option around — Sliders.

    But, here is a question. Aside from gettting a Scoopy Doo lunch box — and, hey! that might be cool — how does one carry lunch around town without it going bad, spilling or stinking things up when all you have is either a murse of a messenger bag? I can’t come up with a solution. So, I either just have a croissant and a Diet Coke as I’m walking about or I skip lunch all together. Hmmmmmm…

    A ponder.

  12. Karyn replied:

    Hot Dogs: “Each morsel is a joy! A celebration in a bun!” Quoted directly from “The Pigeon Finds A Hot Dog”, which I have read out loud and with feeling roughly 4,200 times in the last six months.

    I am confident these delectable marvels of culinary wonders contain nothing but vitamins and clean protein and all manner of goodness.

    Please. Stop talking trash about the hot dogs… I couldn’t drink milk for a year after I learned about it, I couldn’t eat roast beef for yearS after I poked my way around a bovine heart, I couldn’t eat chicken wings after I dissected a feline in Anatomy – I can’t bear to learn anything unsavory about hot dogs too!

    PS: Matt you are a freaking stick. Eat something. Anything.

  13. matty replied:

    Gina! LOL! No, I it wasn’t pretty enough to be Cinderalla. In this neck of the woods (being Castro — that is not a bad price) …the next option would be chicken fingers which are $5.95 …or, there is a Subways but everytime I go into this particular one there are bugs flying about under the glass. Gross. I no longer eat out. I was just needing to get out of the house and if I do eat out — it has to be cheap!

    I do eat oatmeal, tho! Every morning! I have a cup. chased down with a small glass of Diet Coke. Yummy! And, virtually no calories! But, I don’t think I’m having any more hot dogs.

    Old Cheeser! I’m sorry! Was it too strange? No! Don’t ever eat at those stands! Scary stuff! Warn your partner! Yes, you’re a good boy!

    Essentially, I see this temp unemployment period as an opportunity to lose my holiday fatness! I know I can do it — almost all the sugar sweets are gone. Just a few cookies remaining.

  14. matty replied:

    Karyn – Bless you, my child! I love you anyway, but I must say I am adore-ing you this morning. To be called a stick almost makes my day were it not for my extreme sleepiness and the sensation that a large pick has just been driven thru my skull.

    Alas, I am not a stick. I put on one of my fave shirts yesterday — a really cool Diesel tshirt! — and, gulp, I could see a belly attempting to emerge. This is not a look that works well with Diesel. No. Just no. But, fear not — it will not be visible soon. I only want the shape of pecs and a few ribs to show thru that shirt!

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