OK. I am coming clean. I’ve recently discovered that I am — well, it’s hard to articulate. OK. (taking a deep breath and holding on to the sides of the wooden cube upon which my iBook rests) —

My name is Matty and I’m addicted to the Captain & Tennille. (coughs) Thanks. Wow. You really clapped for that. Gee. Well, I guess I should be more clear about my sickness.

Specifically, I am addicted to their first two LP’s (now all re-master’d to CD) and their ill-fated one season long ABC Television Series, THE CAPTAIN & TENNILLE which aired from 1976 to 1977. …It came out on DVD this past Christmas and I secretly purchased the 3 DVD disc set. Wow. I feel so much better sharing this with you all. I feel like a big rock has been lifted from my shoulders.


Yes, I think Tennille had an awesome voice too. No, I don’t care for her Broadway and Big Band stuff so much. I prefer the fun Neil Sedaka/Beach Boys 70’s vegetarian fare. I mean, how can you not sing along!?!? They were cool and had a lot more hits than Sonny & Cher! Oh, yes! I agree! I mean, they are still together! Love kept them that way! I know!

The Captain was kind of hot. …if he kept that hat on — well, I don’t want to be too rude too soon at my first meeting. I am spoken for to a really hot guy. But, yeah. The Captain. I’d have done him.

Oh, yeah! “Muskrat Love” is a classic. It is not a guilty pleasure. Wait. It is? Well, color me guilty, Mister!

I guess it all started when I first heard them as an 8 year old kid. I had a poster, but my mom used it to explain how men and women fucked and that sort of ruined it for me. I took it down.

I know. But, you have to understand that being told to imagine The Captain getting Tennille all moist and ready was jut to much for an 8 year old to take.

No, I don’t think that is why I am gay. I had the hots for the Captain back then. However, I was more keen on both Andy Gibb and John Travolta. But Kris Kristofferson was responsible for my first erection. And, of course, Robin Williams for my first ejaculation. But, you guys probably read all about that in my blog a while back.

What? Oh. Yeah. This is an anonymous support group.

Anyway, I can’t seem to get enough of their music or bad TV show. It isn’t so bad except I think the lady who was sitting next to me on MUNI this morning was annoyed by the happy sounds she could hear coming from my iPod headset. Yeah, me too. I play them loud. And, my boyfriend is really not enjoying the fact that I’ve sort of forced him to sit thru 7 of the 12 episodes of the show. No, I don’t think he realizes about the third disc filled with extras.

Maybe I should turn back to weed and downers. No, you’re right. For now, it is OK. I’ve admitted the problem. I’ve declared it. Anyone want to dance to “Shop Around” ????? Really? Cool!

Sock hop! OK. You’re right. We don’t want to enable. Well, thanks for the space to share. Do we really have to do that? I mean, join hands and say an affirmation. Seems a bit cultish. No, it’s cool. OK. Um, is that supposed to be there? Oh, I see. Can you wash your hands? What? Never mind. Take my hand. We’re on this road together. Amen!

October 24, 2006. Uncategorized.


  1. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert replied:

    Ok, since you’ve confessed this, I’m going to confess my secret horror that has been poisoning the water of my soul’s well for these many years.
    …. I used to sing Muskrat Love t girls when I was in high school, complete with the little Muskratty chirruping sounds. I thought it was cool.
    Looking back on this, I have to wonder how many girls I knew back then have grown up to be emotionally scarred, frightened women, who ride the elevators in groups for fear that some bizarre stranger should without warning accost them and start singing to them in Animal Talk.
    I have prayed and sought absolution for many years, and still feel unclean. Are you using your cat-o-nine tails this Friday? Can you bring it over? I need release from the shame.
    Thank you, I feel better now.

  2. Dessie replied:

    I still love that Sprint PCS ad where they made an appearance

  3. drc replied:

    I loved them then and I love them now. I had no clue the dvd had come out…now I have to go find it! I can remember watching their show. It was fun and lighthearted. I liked it more than the Sonny & Cher show. And WAY more than the Glen Campbell show.

  4. Hanuman1960 replied:

    Turn in your Gay Card THIS INSTANT!!!

    P.S. Return the toaster oven too…

  5. matt replied:

    Daniel — Wow! That was really brave. However, I am not sure that group will be enough for you. Daniel, you might need a bit of therapy. It’s OK. Now, regarding the cat and the 9 tails. Hmmmm…

    Dessie! I’ve not seen that and don’t know of what you speak! But, I need to!!!

    drc — Oh, man — you will love this DVD set!!!! They also issued re-masterd versions of all their cd’s and there is a big box set! I am watching one of the episodes now — HEART is on it singing Dreamboat Annie!!!! Yay! …they are so very young, thin and pretty — and can rock! I had forgotten that bands/singers used to actually sing and not lip sync. Sigh. I do so love them.

    Oh, H1960 — that wasn’t very cool of you. Here, in the C&T Support Group — we provide a judgement free zone. …I thought that loving the C&T would make me even gay-er than I am. …and, as I was reminded several times today — I am quite gay. Actually, according to this one dude — I’m “uber-gay” …and, my toaster never arrived. Unless my Hello Kitty toaster counts — but it was given to me by my pal, Milly. Big hug!

  6. Matt replied:

    Hi Matty, are you all tugged in at B’s house? I’m still in Hong Kong, will be taking off to Japan on Monday. I never asked for you for your address but I do wish to send you a postcard. E-mail me k?

    Take care.

  7. Karyn replied:

    Matt – I love that your first was to Robin Williams. Even if he was Morktastic at the time. I think he is brilliant. I cannot even begin to get my head around how he would be in bed. But I digress.

    And Daniel – that “animal talk” part made me laugh so hard I choked on my coffee and wound up dribbling some down my chin onto my jammies, dammit.

  8. matt replied:

    matt! Yes, I’m all moved in! Now, the hard part — it is exciting but it is kind of like being two children in love trying to figure each other out. It can be fun/sexy/and always interesting — but it can also be challenging and stress-filled. but, it is going well as we try to figure out how to bring our stuff and personalities together. Sent you an email! Send me my postcard, please!!!

    Karyn — I bet Robin Williams would be really good in bed. Seems like people with a great sense of humor are the most inclined toward adventure and pleasure. But, I haven’t found him attractive since the Mork era. Oh well. And, yeah, Daniel is most cool!

    Oh, and there are a lot of closet Captain & Tennille fans! Funny how worried some of them are at actually admitting it on my blog. …but, I am not alone!


  9. josh williams replied:

    You know I probably read that same People back in 76 , my folks had a subscrition and I read every issue, I was never a fan, but I watched the show and boy I’m glad I am not on the grass as well cause that people cover could have sent me over the edge. Wow!Time travel freaks me…

  10. matt replied:

    Commander Josh — Time Travel is much fun as long is one takes care to not get stuck! I just know that you’re closet C&T fan! I just know it!

  11. Sorted Lives replied:

    Wow, a blast from the past! I remember owning their first album (and being ridiculed by my brothers) and watching their show religiously.

  12. Old Cheeser replied:

    The bit about your mum using the poster of the C&T to explain the “birds and the bees” is absolutely hilarious. And rather an original approach too. I’m sure that was a turning point for you as a gay man. And hey, we’ve all got our secret addictions, so well done for coming clean about yours. Better out than in, as they say.

    Being from the UK, I’ve never seen the C&T’s tv show, though I’m sure it’s a gem. I do however confess to owning a “Best of” Captain & Tennille which has all the classics, bar Muskrat Love. “Do That To Me One More Time” reminds me sooo much of those late-night “love hour” radio shows that we get so much over here…a fabulous, gooey, smooch of a song. In fact some friends and I did come up with an “interesting” alternative version, “Shove it up one more time”. Okay, I’ll stop there as I’m being way too crass. Forgive me.

  13. Old Cheeser replied:

    Sorry, slight typo in my last comment. My alternative version of “Do that…” was meant to read “Shove it up ME one more time.” I’m sure you all feel so much better for knowing that now.

  14. matt replied:

    Old Cheeser! Oh, I wish you could see the show! Maybe they will issue the DVD set to the UK and you can rent it!

    …and, I will never think of that song the same again! LOL!


  15. Me replied:

    Thanks hon, I had no idea I had a problem until you pointed it out. Look, I can only handle one addiction at a time and I’m choosing to ignore this one. People have panty hose, foot, and fruit fetishes. We should be allowed to have our Captain and Tenille guilty pleasure.
    Now, where did you say you bought this DVD set? It’s for a friend. Really.

  16. The Persian replied:

    you are sooo gay, and I mean that in the kindest possible way.

    Didn’t they sing that muskrat love song? My Aunt bought a Muscrat coat once when i was a kid and I used to sing that to torment the hell out of her. I was an evil little boy.

    and um, every time I come here I am mezmorized by your profile picture yet I can’t figure out why.


  17. Old Cheeser replied:

    I’m sure the fabulous DVD can be purchased via Amazon or somewhere like that, Matt!

    And forgive me for tarnishing the memory of such a wonderful song…

    OC xxx

  18. matt replied:

    Lovely Meredith — I think you can indulge in more than addiction at a time. Just ask my pal, Hattie The Crack Addict! No, but you can find a copy just as Old Cheeser points out — at Amazon.com!

    Old Cheeser — Oh, no — you didn’t tarnish anything! You simply added a new demension!!! You rock!

    the persian – why, yes! they did sing Muskrat Love!!! And, I think it great you tormented your Aunt for wearing one! and, yes — I have been told I am — quite gay in many ways. I’m happy about it. Regarding my profile picture. Hmmmmm… I don’t know. It’s just me bustin’ a move at Ing’s party. …to a Prince song. But, I am ever so glad you like it! You’ve a nice picture too! I am thinking of changing mine. It has been up for about 3 months now. Probably time for a change. I guess. So hard to find the shot one likes. You know?

  19. Old Cheeser replied:

    Bless ya – oh well, in that case I will think up “alternative” names for all the other Captain & Tennille tracks…(lol)xx

  20. M- Filer replied:

    Who doesn’t love C&T????????????????????

  21. Joshua replied:

    My fave by them is “Love Will Keep us Together”

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