…There is a lot going on right now. It’s all great and exciting stuff but that isn’t to say that there are not more than a few stressors at play. I am moving in with B. It’s a big deal for both of us. We are pushing past the barriers that our past relationships have created and are jumping off into the arms of love. I think we will both be caught or I wouldn’t be doing it, but I think B and I are both a tiny bit “freaked out” — Particularly B who is now trying to refer to “his place” as “our place” —- And, one can’t forget that he is an architect of some forces and a designer/artist. So, over the course of the next week our home will soon had the addition of all my full-on color pop art and stuff. Anyway, it’s all good — as they are prone to say in sunny California. But, I find my creative juices are somewhat dry. However, I’ve been following the advice of Ing and have been recording just about all of my thoughts and observations.

The problem is that these little scribbles are much like my writing always seems to be: odd, disjointed and somehow confusing. Welcome to my mind. I do find it fun to constantly be pulling out my way cool little book and scribing my ideas/thoughts/observations. This is much different than a journal.

Anyway, here are some of my recent “notes” of life…

“Idea re: ‘over-heard conversations’ which are actually conversations I have just had or have heard — ongoing…

‘I like to take it deep and work my tongue around it’
you don’t worry about him coming in your mouth?’
‘No. I like that.’
‘But, is that safe?’
‘What’s safe anyway? It’s not like I’m gonna let him pop his load if I’ve got a gashing wound in my mouth’
‘Oh. Wait. Shhhhh. Hi Erin.’
‘How long were you there?’
‘Sorry, I was listening in. You know what me and my boyfriend like?’
‘When I take this old serrated kitchen knife out and run it across his cock till he comes. Drives us both crazy. We love it.’
‘A knife?’
‘Yeah, you should both try it! Oh, gotta get back there! Later!’
‘Erin is a freak.’
‘Yep. Issues.’

‘I wonder if there is a fetish around socklets. Seems like there should be.’

‘There are four people sitting on a blanket in Golden Gate Park eating. I guess it is a picnic. I don’t get this concept. Is that supposed to be fun? Most worrying’

‘Lounge singers need more work. Maybe that is why radio stations still use cheesy jingles — hits coast to coast! 92.5 FM’

‘You know, I’ve never even known a sex worker. Kind of interesting to be involved with someone who was a sex worker.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you were a sex worker for a while back in the early 90’s.’
‘I was? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I guess I was.’
(according to the on line dictionary I was a sex worker. ok. whatever)

‘You’re such a cute young thing!’
‘But, I thought you said I was a hot hard rubber thing last week.”
‘Oh, honey — you were and you still are!’

‘The same old lady is always on the same corner every work day starting at 7am and is still there at 3pm. She has been setting up shop like this for over six months now. She sells beads which she must have strung into necklaces. They are so ugly. No one ever seems to stop by her tiny table. She always looks so sad. However, for the past couple of weeks an old man has been sitting with her. They do not appear to speak to each other but she is always smiling now. I like to think she is in love. Still. No one stops to look at or buy her ugly homemade necklaces. Maybe I should buy one.’

September 19, 2006. Uncategorized.


  1. Kris replied:

    Yea, that would be a good idea. Buy one from her, though knowing that you’ll NEVER EVER wear the damn thing haha You can probably just toss it out right after (well not to where she’d see) but it’ll probably make her day with you doing so.

    Hmmm, knife would have to try that out sometime and will get back to ya as long as I don’t become that bobbitt husband.

    Oh wow, wish you and B the Best. It’s a scary, but feel the fear and do it anyway…It’s all gooood!

  2. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert replied:

    Even when you’re being odd and disjointed, it’s charming.
    Good luck with moving closer in your relationship.

  3. Me replied:

    Buy a necklace. Imagine how happy you’ll make her. Of course, she’ll be happy because she finally roped some poor sucker into buying one of her hideous creations. But you’ll have a swell present to give B. Congrats on the co-habitation. Hmmm, what to send for a housewarming gift.
    An architect, huh.
    Hmmm, so something made of corn husks and glitter and artifial flowers would definitely be out? Darn, guess I won’t be shopping here. LOL

  4. ing replied:

    I love that last scribbling about the necklace!

    But I don’t think eating on a blanket is any more fun than any other novel kind of behavior. It’s just a version of the serrated knife thing, except toned waaaaaay down.

    Maybe your move is like riding a rickety old roller coaster. Maybe it’s scary-fun. No risk, no gain. I find it all very brave and inspiring.

  5. matt replied:

    Kris — Yeah, I am all about feeling the fear unless it involves old kitchen knives or picnics!

    Daniel – Awwww, you’re so sweet! Thanks — I think it is a great thing!!!

    Lovely Meredith — I would buy one, but all of her stuff is so over-the-top for women. And, I could not do this to Ing. She might feel obliged to wear it and these creations are far too ugly for anyone to wear. Wow! I’d love a glitter corn husk with artificial flowers!!!

    Ing — Nice idea. I like the anticipation of the free fall. Wanna a “pretty” necklace? LOL!

  6. ing replied:

    It’s so sweet of you to offer me jewelry — y’know, lots of men do just that, but I have a policy now of never accepting jewelry from men. I just don’t have room to store all the gems I’ve been receiving.

    But thanks! I shall never forget your offer. . .

  7. matt replied:

    Ing — I was thinking that your diamond load was getting a bit heavy. Well, no worries because — the little lady with the ugly necklaces was GONE today!!?!?!

    I hope she and her friend ran off or something. Odd, tho. She has been there every day since I started working that part of downtown.

  8. ing replied:

    Oh, one should never run off with their friends, especially if one’s carrying heaps of jewelry in her arms! But that’s exactly what my roommate and I had to do after my latest suitor dropped off his pile of affection. He was so madly in love, we had to run for half a block. The thing is, I’d already promised myself to another, a sailor. . .

    I just gave Josh a talking to on my blog. He appears to fear the siren spell of Goldfrapp.

  9. ing replied:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  10. matt replied:

    Never run from the call of Goldfrapp!!!!

  11. Robert replied:

    At times when we sense danger, that’s when we feel centered and truly aware of our surroundings.

    Love that AT video! Dunno why, it makes me laugh! haha!

    Happy Thursday Matt.

  12. ing replied:

    I petted the CUTEST pug today! It loved me! I wanted to steal it, but I didn’t.

  13. Me replied:

    See, now I was thinking, one should ALWAYS run away with friends bearing heaps of jewellry.
    Did I mention that I once had a typing teacher who used to make her own necklaces? Her favourite was this hideous creation made from grayish blobs about the size of a wad of chewed Dubble Bubble and what appeared to be a doll head. Like a Barbie or something. Everyone was too afraid or stunned to ask why but I’m sure she practiced voodoo at home.

  14. ing replied:

    One shouldn’t run off with friends while burdened by jewelry, but voodoo dolls? Yes!

    I just say no to the jewelry because it’s so very heavy and because the coppers will hassle you. It looks suspicious. And it gives all your admirers an excuse to “rescue” you by bailing you & your pal out of jail.

  15. Tim replied:

    Lol, sounds like there’s a lot of spare jewellery down in SF! Anyway, congratulations Matt & B, hope it all goes smoothly. I’ll be thinking of you; after all, I’m unemployed, I’ve got nothing better to do :-p

  16. Karyn replied:

    Yay, happy days! Good times, glad for you and for B!

    Can I just tell you how much I love Goldfrapp’s Train??? Thank you for that –

    And yeah, forget the serrated knives, that is tres bizarre.

    And I love your random notebook musings. Picnics are overrated. Wind in my hair = hair in my food plus the nature factor… yuck.

  17. matt replied:

    Robert! Yes! Amen to that!

    Lovely Meredith — Yes, I agree. Jewels are a good thing. AND — I picked up a stunning piece of it for Ing this weekend. I can’t wait to give it to her!!!

    Ing — You will be lovin’ this piece of jewlrey!

    Tim – It is a goldmine here! You two need to come for a visit before you’re stuck in a job!!! And, thank you!

    Karyn! Thank you! And, yes! Yay! Glad we agree on picnics! Creepy stuff I say!

  18. Metalchick replied:

    Hi Matt,
    I recognize those pictures! they’re from Aphex Twin’s music video “Come to Daddy” Their songs are weird, but they sound better when you watch the music videos.

  19. matt replied:

    MetalChick! So cool to hear from you! Hope all is well! Yeah, Aphex Twin is a bit of an aquired taste. But, his vid clips are incredible.

  20. Kalvin replied:

    Serated knives, sex work, aphex twin and chris cunningham? Scary man, scary!

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