DANGEROUS ACQUAINTANCES, INGRID’S FEAST & SMASH UP ON THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO!
Friday night everyone’s favorite girl, Ing, gave a little party.
Wearing her retro apron, up-to-the-moment-fashion and armed with a cooking instrument she called a “wisk” — she greeted us at the door of the home for which she has been house sitting and the party began. Tho, I am still not clear on what that wisk was for — Ing served us a delicious meal of sausages, buns and a pretty pink cake (that she baked all by herself)! It was yummy and the company was much fun!
Ing, Mark and I danced while “B” Alan and Adele cheered us on. We later learned that they were really just watching in shock and taunted us behind our backs but we still love ’em anyway. And the three of us “cut the rug” …so to speak.
Much was discussed and many ideas were hatched for further cultural development of the human race. In the end, we all had to agree with Alan and all hope for the future lies with Ing’s ability to write the perfect book. I think it could happen. Anyway, Ing gives great party and we all had a blast! A stone cold blast! We also found it fun to hang out outside the house once the party was over and watch Ing and Mark do things that I am unable to publish on my blog. We hooted and made obscene noises, but they were too lost ‘in the moment’ to notice. Alan got it all on video.
Oh! And, guess what came on one of our remit envelopes from one of our patients today! It just seemed so, well, “gay” to see a Judy Garland stamp on the remit envelope for our office postmarked for San Francisco — I had to claim this stamp as my own. My boss advised that I was such a total homo in my red sportcoat and tight-fitting black t-shirt with the delicious print of big red lips wrapped around a cherry — I agreed. But, he was waiting on pins and needles for the new “People” magazine to arrive and had just gotten into a disagreement regarding the singing merits of one Ms. Kelly Clarkson. So, who’s the big homo now?!?! LOL!
Anyway, I had funny putting this shirt on because I feel like I’ve gained too much weight. I blame B who forces me to eat large quantitites of sugar and chocolate 24/7 but I must step up and just say no. Anyway, he assured me that I am still a size ‘small’ — and I did get a number of compliments on my costume for the day. However, this being San Francisco, one never knows what one might encounter. As I was waiting in line to purchase the Magik Elixir, uh, I mean Diet Coke — a young man approached me from the behind. I felt he was too close and became very aware of his presence. Then he leaned in and whispered into my ear — “Hot shirt and I really like your jeans,” — then, before I had time to say “Thanks” his hand slide under my ass and his fingers were between my legs. I think I jumped 3 feet into the air.
It startled this kid more than me, tho. I could feel my face flush up. I turned and said, “Look. Thank you but keep your hands off my ass!” …I said this in my meanest voice possible. …and he just looked at me and said, “What about your cock?” …What does one say to that? Why me? So, I just said the first thing that came to me — “Please leave. Now.” …and, he did! …I got my Diet Coke, walked to my standard seat on the steps of the Levi building and tried to decide if I was flattered or insulted. I started to discuss this with my boss but as nouvelle Vague sang “Too Drunk To Fuck” over our PA system I decided I would just keep it to myself.
But, I am sharing this experience with you. …Because that what my blog is all about. Right?
OH! And, B and I heard the absolute coolest song this weekend — actually, we heard it at the shop where I purchased my “hot” cherry shirt. It is called “My Other Car Is A Beatle” by Jay-r. As B dressed me up in a wide selection swimsuits that revealed more than if I simply dispensed with the wearing of swimsuits all together — I discovered that Jay-r is a local DJ who has smashed up Salt-n-Peppa’s The Cars That Go Boom with Gary Numan’s Cars and various other Hip-Hop tracks. I HAD to have it. I searched iTunes with no luck.
However, a trip to a cool local record store revealed that this track is not legal and is created by a collective of SF DJ artistes who live on the auditory edge. I purchased a locally manufactured CD called “The Best Mashups In The World Ever Are From San Francisco” — the cute guy at the store assured me that I was in for a treat with the CD and that only a few are ever published because it is not really “legal” —- so I have it and can’t wait to play it AND — it turns out that these DJ’s do a show of these smashups at a club once a month! I wanna go! (you’d be looking at it right now except that blogger will not let me upload the picture! oy!)
Ing! B! Mark! Alan! Milford! Adele — and anyone else who wants to join! We must go to the next one in August or September! It is at the DNA Lounge — and, please note that they smash up Ing’s hubbby with Madonna (who wanted to marry me but I just wasn’t up for that attitude 24/7, you know?) ….cool, tho — eh?
…and, speaking of just how gay I am — I picked up the new book on Barbra! Written by a critic (I think) who also happens to be a life-long fan, the book is an examination of Bab’s career and offers a fan’s insight into the things she has done right and the things she has done wrong. So, I guess the Barbra Criticisms come from a good place. Besides, I love the title. It is called “The Importance of Being Barbra” …And, we all know that it is important being Barbra. It also must be really hard. I know I couldn’t do it. I would not want to do it. Poor Barbra! I can’t wait to read the book. I hope Ing selects it as November’s reading group selection for the short attention span folks!
Oh, and, you know, I think we’re all a little gay in our own ways. It’s just that some of us are more gay than others. Now, excuse me while I mail my bill payments out using my Liza stamp from the US Postal Services Diva Collection. (I am saving Barbra’s stamp for myself)
love and queer kisses,
ps — I hope you enjoy the pix! Check out Ing’s blog soon — if she ever decides to put up a post she will have way cooler pictures. I hope to get this posted tonight but I hope to be meeting up with B and Matt of Mule Skin Blog fame for dinner. It should be fabulous. And, I hope, quite gay! I’ll bring my canceled Judy stamp. Anyway, when I get back to B’s I will try to upload my pictures and get this posted. Tho, doesn’t it seem like not that many people are reading or posting in July? …Or is it just me?
However, as I drive toward an actual settlement regarding this lawsuit from Hell — and there are some positives about that and some negatives — I can see a light at the end of the debt tunnel. This thing has been going on for over a year now. So closure of any sort is much welcome!
I am also working with doctors and various lab persons to schedule a whole battery of tests to check my status regarding this way fun genetic blood disorder my father left me.
…I am stressed out.
Funny how stress attacks. The new way for me to attack myself seems to be via the grinding of my teeth. …all the time, apparently.
I’ve been grinding so much that I was unable to open my mouth the other day to floss/brush my teeth. B had to almost assist me in getting my mouth to open and it KILLED. Now, my whole jaw hurts and I’ve got a never ending headache. And, I’ve got two parties this weekend! One being given by that Goddess of San Francisco, Ing, — which promises to be a lot of fun!!! The other is a pool party being given by one of the sexy guys I call “boss” — his party is somewhere out in the east bay where it will be over 100 degrees but it is a pool party so that should be much fun. And, B has that awesome new car for us to take a joy ride on sunday or saturday night — Now, if only my jaw and head will stop hurting. I must appear to be in a bad or down mood. Everyone keeps asking me if I am “OK”. I am fine mood wise.
I am just in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Pain, pain, pain and more pain.
However, one of my bosses is saving me and I should have a Night Guard by the end of the day which will serve as a sort of “pillow for my teeth” …I really like the way that sounds. And, I sure hope it calms the pain down.
And, my fingers are crossed to reach settlement and have all my appointments scheduled by Tuesday of next week. A boy can hope.
Wait. I will be 40 in November. Am I still allowed to be a “boy”? …I think being queer always me a few extra years on the boy term but I might have exceeded that point.
…forever your boy. …in pain. …waiting for a miracle from the tooth pillow. And, now — I return to my disco/diet coke fueled day!
I’ve been loving Sigur Ros for some time now, but thanks to my pal over at Killing Music Blog — I love ’em even more. This is an amazing vid clip. Follow the link below!
Home Taping Is Killing Music: Doll Parts
SAN FRANCISCO DOG DAY AFTERNOON…
…tho, no bank are being held hostage to pay for sex re-assignment surgery as far as I know. However, I do know that it is quite hot for San Francisco. I do believe it is close to 85 degrees as I type this from my cafe of choice where the cool boys behind the counter all know what I want to drink as I walk in the door. Isn’t this picture grand? I had never seen it before but it so totally captures the magik that was David Bowie in his 70’s prime. So cool. So odd. So disturbing. So fucking funky. I had never seen this picture before. I found it on the MySpace site of an online pal who goes by the screen name of J@M35 – beach blanket bingo beatnik. Seek him and his blog out on myspace. He is ubercool, cute and has great taste in film, music and more! Way cool.
I think I need to convince B to toss out everything and run away with me to the UK where we can live as way cool close to 40 something bohemians. I wonder if we can kidnap Ing and make her go with us. However, B is off buying a car. An Element I believe it is called. Actually, I know it called an Element. It is quite cool but this purchase has taken up a great deal of B’s time and energy. And, we are missing crucial beach time today. But, it is going to make him very happy and it makes me feel kind of high to see him happy. So, that is cool. I anticipate riding to the nude beach within the next hour or so — tho, it will be far too cold at the beach by that time to disrobe we can lay down, make out and watch the ocean for a few hours. Hey, where’s my sunblock?!?!? Anyway, I think I’ve a better chance of convincing B to someday run off to Toronto to be bohemian in a place where one can secure actual insurance coverage without paying half your salary. That might be nice.
Last night Ing hosted me to a sleep over or “slumber party” at this wicked cool home of two cool artists who head up a band called The Sippy Cups — they perform punk/drug era 60’s songs for children. They rock and so does their house. Ing got me up to all sorts of odd things last night till the wee hours of the morning. We had a blast but I am so sleepy. And, poor Ing is having to work in this heatwave selling books. Still it was much fun. However, I am leaving it to her to tell you of our adventures. I am a bit worried about that as she has pictures. We shall see if she has the guts to actually put up the photos. But it was so much fun. And to set it straight — Ing is one hot babe! …as a couple of pictures will attest. By the way if she does publish any photos of me — I posed at gunpoint. No, that’s not the ticket. Those pix are not really of me. They are of a guy who sort of looks like me. You know something is up when friends ask, “Can you remove your pants?” …but I am a trusting soul.
Ing got me a gift — a box featuring my all time fave picture of Barbra!!!! It is one of the Scavullo publicity stills from A STAR IS BORN — and it was filled with really good chocolate candies!!!
Now, I just need a box with my second fave picture of Babs and I shall be all set for cool Barbra boxes! Now, this was the cover shot for her infamous LP which featured her duet with then boyfriend Don Johnson who is said to have a rather large johnson. Good for Barbra! Sure wish she hadn’t recorded that song with him or made that appearance on Miami Vice, tho. Well, love is blind. Even for divas of note. Great picture, tho! So “don’t fuck with me, fellas!” …and DKNY was never put to such good use! Well, maybe it was but I like it. Anyway, by the time this album hit the record stores in late 1988 she had moved on to an affair with Quincy Jones. A much better choice. Where is that duet?!?!?
I got Ing a gift! A house warming gift for her new apartment which is going to be so cool!!! This gift will make it all the cooler. Tho, I am not sure Ing agrees — however it did inspire her to make this pose…Ing is afraid of Liza. She is learning to face her fears. You know, my mom got this album for me when I was a kid. I think she thought I might like Liza and it would prevent me from being gay. I didn’t really like Liza — but, boy — did that poor woman have it confused. I think Liza is actually MORE gay than Barbra. Anyway, this was Liza’s bid for disco stardom. Like most things Liza set out to do — it didn’t work out. But, Ing seems to be happy. And, doesn’t Miss. Ing look hot!?!?!? Oh, and a hot Latino dude came on to Ing last night. He slipped a chocolate into her hand. It melted.
I made her eat it for good luck. She licked the wrapper! I was so proud I thought my heart my bust!
Well, beach time is wasting away as wait for B to arrive with his way cool car from the folks who make The Element. I think B thinks I might go camping. I was planning on that but I had thought he meant hanging out with drag queens and wearing pretty boas on the beach. I think he was thinking of hunting, fishing and something called “hiking” …most worrying.
And, here is my iPod Shuffle as I walked from B’s place to my cafe:
1. I Should Be So Lucky by Kylie
2. Fun For Me by Moloko
3. Elevators by The National Trust
4. Molly by Ween
5. Sleeps With Butterflies by Tori Amos
6. Are You The One by The Presets
7. Still by The Robber Barons
Oh, and there is nothing worse than gay male couples who opt to dress alike in matching shorts, muscle shirts and sandals — and they always seem to be in their mid 40’s. I ran into one such couple on my way here whom I know. Now, this is a mixed race couple but I swear — I could not decide which was which. It was creepy and odd.
…why does anyone read my blog? And, according to the hits I see — there are more than a few of you who stop by! all i do is prattle on and on. …and it is usually about the same things. Tho, I guess I didn’t make mention of Goldfrapp. Oopps. Scratch that. Anyway, I am glad you do stop by. Just wish you would drop me a comment or too — I promise I will email ya if you want me to bother you with an email. It is a communication tool, you know!
OK — B got the car/truck and is on his way to pick me up. The Boss by Miss Ross just came up on my iPod and I am all excited. Ocean — here I come!
AN ODE TO BARRY…
My ten year old fingers wrap around the rope of my swing. The cane sandals fly freely off my feet, my toes dig into the sand, the denim cut-offs creep up just slightly exposing my butt to the warm seat of the swing as I push off into the warm Texas afternoon. The wind hits my face blowing my bowl cut all over my head. And the portable 8-track tape player is blaring out as I soar closer toward the sky…
“…Hey, Baby. I went lookin’ too and I found out that there is no other love for me but you. Just me and you…”
Feeling so free. Grandmother and Howard are back in the house watching Mike Douglas. Mom is at work flirting with her boss. Dad is at some job flirting with all manner of people and doing as little work as possible. I soak in the hot sun which has already tanned my body. My faux-football jersey half shirt has those little holes in it which prevents the polyester from being too unbearable. Grandmother thinks it’s funny that she can see where the sun has allowed the little holes to appear on my shoulders and chest. I think it cool.
My pal, Margaret, is all sunburned. However, I don’t burn — I stay brown.
“…a different kind of cool love who’s going to treat me right — day and night. And, I found what I was after and my day is filled with laughter. I found you, love…”
I feel so happy as I swing and sing along at the top of my lungs. Our neighbor is tending his corn and seems to take pleasure in my singing. However, next week he will talk to my mom about the appropriateness of the music to which I am allowed to listen. My mother will defend my right to play and sing along with “belly rubbin'” music. Good for her.
“Disco is fun” she will tell me as she drops me off at the rollerskating rink for a day and night of roller disco. I do have fun, but would rather be at the movies. Still, I became a good skater. I dreamed of skating with Scott. Or, Peter Brady — or, Andy!
…but, secretly I really wanted to skate with Barry. Torn. Did I want him to be my boyfriend or my dad? Or, did I want both? I’m still not sure. I had always imagined that Woody Allen and Diane Keaton were my real parents. I was there love child who had some how been left in White Trash Texas Hell. But, maybe it was disco desiny. Disco dew.
Oh, Barry. What happened? In the summer of 1977 it all seemed so innocent and fun. And, look what was survived? Child abuse. Latch keys. Being gay and not really understanding why or what that meant other than my mom was blaming Barbra. Not that it was all easy for you either. I mean, you kept those hits rolling but all the while your cute little brother boogied down a bit too much with Joe Walsh and Uncle Stigwood convinced you that it would be cool to do a musical version of SGT PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND.
“Barry, baby! Have I ever steered you boys wrong? This is going to be bigger than TOMMY and we’ve got Peter Frampton! Baby, this is going to be hot! Hot!”
Robert fucking bastard Stigwood and his silly little pig loggo’d RSO records.
But, in the summer of 1977 I had no idea that my mom and dad were headed for a rocky divorce, I would soon have a sweet little brother to watch out for, I would be losing my Grandmother, I would be discovering the odd/twisted/fun/horrible road of drugs — No. I had no idea. I was just swinging to the music. To those swirling strings and the beat of those drums.
“…I was lost with no direction and my life was one big question. Now I know just where I’m going and I know just where I’m going cause I found you, love. I found a new love!”
The swing kept going higher. Just like you, Barry.
I mean. You know. Who can ever knock you? …Jive Talkin’, Stayin’ Alive, Night Fever, More Than A Woman, Emotion, Too Much Heaven, Shadow Dancing, Love Is Thicker Than Water, I Just Wanna Be Your Everything, A Woman In Love, Guilty, Grease, Islands In The Stream, If I Can’t Have You and How Deep Is Your Love. …the list goes on and on. It was an era of sweet music which seemed to be dripping off the beautiful Pier One Import rubber tree leaves which were positioned on the furry carpet by the oval swirling white chair and the Pet Rock on the micro plastic yellow table with the way cool and functional picture cube.
I learned so much from you, Barry. And, no matter how bad you continue to look as you attempt to work that 1978 hair do as a thinning hair did or try to turn your disco into war protest songs for Barbra.
Yes. Grease really IS the word. Your love will turn the key. Certainly, no one gets too much heaven anymore. You and I both know we’ve got nothing to be guilty about. And, you taught me that a woman in love will fight for that right to the end.
Barry, I swing with you. In a way, in a certain part of my brain it will always be the summer of 1978 and Samantha Sang will always be crooning on about crying a river that leads to your ocean. In the words of a broken heart — it is just emotion that is taking me over as I remember those sweet moments of disco innocence which you created.
But, Barry — where do YOU go when the record’s over?
Anyway, as I was lying on the examination table looking up at an annoying little happy face icon I thought of a couple of things:
1. My doctor would like to see me gain about 5 pounds or so but is unable to really articulate “why” and it is for this reason that I want to lose another 5. This need to sometimes do the opposite of what I am told is odd and a gift from my mother. …who is even more odd.
2. I much prefer a Hello Kitty icon to a generic happy face icon.
3. I am so very curious to know if anyone else compulsively checks their iTunes to see which songs are listened to the most. You know the songs that you play the most. …the ones that have the highest play counts since you’ve had iTunes or your iPod.
Here are my Top 10 Most Played Songs According to My iTunes (and we all know iTunes does not tell lies)
1. “Ride A White Horse” by Goldfrapp – – – – – —————- 196 times
2. “Evergreen” by Barbra Streisand ————————— 113 times
3. “Sleeps With Butterfiles” by Tori Amos ———————- 74 times
4. “Twist” by Goldfrapp ———————- ————– 70 times
5. “Keep Love As Your Golden Rule” by HAL ——————- 67 times
6. “The Power of Orange Knickers” by Tori Amos w/Damien Rice — 62 times
7. “Sweet Blindness” by Laura Nyro ————————— 57 times
8. “Lost Inside of You” by Barbra & Kris Kristofferson ———— 56 times
9. “A Sorta Fairytale” by Tori Amos ————————— 54 times
10. “Queen Bee” by Barbra ———————————- 53 times
Now, share yours in my comments section!! I am most curious!
OH! My pal, Alan, — you know, the cute one who is my roommate, wears way cool shoes and who Ing wishes to bake into a cake just put up his own website featuring his artwork! I am very excited and proud that he finally got this site up and running. I think he has a great eye!
OBSERVATIONS FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD MUNI STOP…
I live in a nice area of San Francisco. It wasn’t always nice. In fact, it had gotten fairly “bad” for a while in the early to mid-90’s. However, it is nice now. Or, maybe the better way to phrase that is that it is well on the way to nice. Just last night I was pointing out to Ingrid and Mark that my hood reminds me of parts of NYC where you can walk for a block, find yourself in Hell but walk another block and be in a bit of Heaven. This is true of the street that intersects mine.
Anyway, sometimes I can hear gun shots. I usually just pull the other pillow closer to me. And, from time to time I will see some interesting things.
This morning at approx 11:45AM I stood at the M Train MUNI stop near my place waiting for the train to bring me to the gay bliss that is The Castro. Normally, we neighborhood folk give each other space at this stop. This morning seemed different. An elderly woman stood way too close to me. She smelled funny. A cute gay boy walked up and stood too close as well. He smelled of pot and CK1. A couple of girls walked up and stood behind the three of us. They smelled like strawberry shampoo.
Oh well. Whatever. Now, I was just listening to my iPod — infact, I was Riding The White Horse with Goldfrapp when the cute gay boy tapped me on the shoulder.
“Hey, what do you think is going on?” the tiny voice asked me.
I turned off Goldfrapp and looked across the street. There was a cop (a really hot cop — one who could easily transition into porn if he had the desire) who appeared to be pissing on this old run down house. But, upon closer inspection, he was actually leaning into the bricks of the house and whispering into his radio.
The Cop Whisper-er? Nawwwww. This was odd.
I told the cute boy that I thought it would be fine. However I was curious. I stepped out into the street walked toward the house to see if I could figure out what was going on.
“Honey, stay here! Don’t be lookin’ for trouble!” spoke the elderly woman who smelled like dairy product.
I ignored her. I was far too curious. I noticed that there was a cop car coming up the side street. This was interesting because the cop car was coming up a one way street in the wrong way. I looked up the main street and saw three cop cars speeding up about a block away. All three cars stopped at the same time without parking properly. No sirens. Four cops emerged from those cars. Their radios were slung on their shoulders and their pistols were in their hands. They looked really serious. I stopped and watched for a second.
Two “dudes” emerged from the house next to the dry cleaner place and ran up to the four cops. I could not hear what one of the cops said but both guys ran back to their house. I heard the hot cop’s radio make an odd noise. He stepped away from the building and this other cop (who couldn’t get in porn if he paid top dollar for the chance) met him at the corner. This must have been the cop who was driving up the wrong way on the one way street.
I got a kind of sinking feeling and headed back to the train stop.
We could see the M Train approaching. The cute gay boy asked me what was going on. I told him that I had no idea but that I was glad the train was arriving. The elderly woman commented that she wanted them to “fucking kill” the dope fiends in our neighborhood. Hmmmm…
We all rushed on to the train. There were a number of Hip Hop Thug type boys in clothes that were about 3 sizes too big for their bodies already on the train. As I sat down I heard “SHIIIIIIIIIITTTT!” screamed in unison by the Hip Hop Bois. We all looked out the window and the ugly non porn cop had pulled out what looked like some form of a machine gun and was perching it against his shoulder. The hot cop was leaning against the building with his pistol up and at the ready — like Mel Gibson in some bad movie getting ready to bust a door down to save an aging Goldie Hawn hiding behind that fringe of blonde hair.
I looked forward and saw that one of the other cops had stepped out into the street and was signaling to our train driver and mouthing the words, “GO! NOW! GO!” —- and that train pulled out quicker than I’ve ever felt a MUNI train move.
What was that all about? What happened? I guess I’ll never know. The Hip Hop Bois rushed to the driver for scoop but he advised them, and all of us, to sit down.
I turned my iPod back on, closed my eyes and got back on the white horse. …which, I think, was probably the best thing to do at that particular moment in time. You know, it is never really dull. There is always something to watch. In a few I shall be catching the N train to the beach to watch and listen to the waves rush back and forth. I hope no one got hurt.
THE FROGS ARE DYING…
So, this morning I awoke with thoughts heavy on my mind. Byron and I have been having some very deep discussions. Byron sometimes gets me to thinking about things that I don’t always enjoy thinking about. Or of? Anyway, this is not a bad thing, but it is not always fun. …to be left alone with my thoughts at my disco desk.
This morning I decided to pick up the paper and read it as I drank my Diet Coke. I stopped after I read the first few paragraphs of the “Big” news story. You see, it appears that all of the frogs on the planet are dying.This somehow translates to mean that Earth is either going thru some sort of horrific change or that the end is fast approaching along with the final thud of Tom Cruise’s career. I was bummed. Not so much about that sofa-jumping-freak-of-nature and his failing box office but the end of the world and the death of all the frogs.
It was just too much. I tossed the paper in the recycling bin and made my way to the office.
And, at work, there was a tension hidden behind the happy facade of gayness. And, for the first time in months, no Madonna music was played. None. It was more of a Nelly Furtado day, I guess.
The office received the latest copy of “The Economist” featuring the picture of Kim Jong II blasting off with the title “Rocket Man” …At first this made me laugh. Then I thought about it and it frightened me. …I couldn’t decide what was more scary: North Korea’s ambition to nuke everyone or the fact that The Economist magazine thought of such a funny cover.
Tonight, after a fantastic dinner at the best diner in San Francisco there was another discussion around difficult challenges and I felt a bit sad. At the same time I felt very much alive and “in the moment” …In the moment. I am sometimes unsure of what that phrase really means. However, as of right now, I understand it.
I hope someone can save the frogs, our planet and that we can get that rocket man back down to earth before someone loses an eye.
Last night I saw a sneak preview of the new film, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. It reminded me of how magical great films can be. When you think about it — there are so few really great movies getting distributed anymore. This is a most welcome exception.
And, if anyone has ever doubted it — Toni Collette totally rocks and is probably the best actress to come our way since Meryl Streep. This film is a MUST SEE!!! Do not miss it!
CINEMATIC THOUGHTS FROM THE LONG WEEKEND, PIN-UP’S ON THE BEACH AND MY ING-PERCEPTIONS…
Well, this was the long weekend of movie going! B and I saw three of “big event” movies this long weekend — and, here are my thoughts on them.
1. Robert Altman’s PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION — or, at least I think that is what it was called. At first I thought I kind of liked it but then all that country music and ‘home spun’ humor started taking a toll on my senses. I wanted to shred the curtains along the side walls of the cinema before it was all over. Oh, and was Virginia Madsen about to kill Meryl, Lilly, garrison and the rest of the cast at the close of the movie? …I kind of hope so. Too bad Lindsey Lohan had already left the diner.
2. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA — It was a Meryl-la-la-polooza at the cineplex this weekend! So, this film could have been so much better than it is actually is. Why is it that American filmmakers are unable to commit to dark comedy? Meryl Streep was really awesome, tho. She makes this film worth seeing even if it does sell out and gets all confused when it comes to female liberation and fashion. Oh, and that girl from the BROKEBACK MTN and those lame Disney movies looks like the odd love child of Liza Minnelli and Donny Osmond. And by that I mean she looked better “frumpy” before Stanley Tucci makes her over in Prada. The whole film is a blatant fashion product placement. I figure Prada and CK must have put up half the budget.
3. SUPERMAN RETURNS — I loved the fact that the actors playing Superman and Lois Lane kept speaking of their love which had spanned “years and years” and “long ago” — and yet the actress playing Ms. Lane was born in 1983 and the actor playing Superman was born in 1979. Ugh! And what was up with the bad wig on Superman?!?!?! However, I have to say that this might be the first mainstream film I’ve seen in years that featured no product placements!!! That is kind of cool. However, this film is close to 3 hours long and I actually fell asleep on B’s shoulder at some point. All I know is that Lois Lane was sitting arguing with the once talented Kevin Spacey and the next thing I knew she was near death being rescued by Superman. I guess I was out for about 20 minutes according to B and Alan. Hmmmm… Obviously, I was not impressed. Oh, and let’s not even ponder why Parker Posey was in this film but I would like to know why they decided to dress her like one of the Pointer Sisters circa 1975.
What’s up with that?!?!? Oh, and was it just me or did they Pixar the guy playing Superman for most of the film. He looked like a cartoon when he didn’t look like a high school kid in a bad wig.
…and, on Thursday night Milford, Alan and Mr. B are seeing LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE as some special and free screening downtown!!! Yay!
B and I spent a bit of time on the beach this weekend. Look how incredibly hot he is!
OK — so I was explaining this to Ing on Saturday. You see I recently watched GREASE and noticed that during that infamous animated opening sequence where all the actors are made to look fairly horrible — EXCEPT Olivia Newton-John — that Ing reminds me of Sandy!!! I like to imagine that Ing wakes up in a pink bedroom, surrounded by frilly girl things and that cute little blue birds help cover her sexy night gown in an elegant robe and little sparrows tie ribbons in her pretty hair — and, for a few minutes, she is transformed into total innocence.
However, I like to think that Ing stops for a moment. Looks in the mirror at her innocent beauty, pulls out a sling shot, kills the cartoon birds, rips off the tres elegant Cinderella gear and transforms herself into the Sandy who emerges at the very end of Grease. You know the one who knows the one she wants and who needs a man to satisfy her. You know — in that tight fitted little black leather outfit with her hair in full glory. This is my perception of Ing — all sexy but still vulnerable and sweet. However, she is more than ready to have that stud tell her all about it. …but only on her own terms. I love Ing.
This is a picture of Ing with the lucky stud who is allowed to date her at the moment.
It is a bit blurry, but he is a hottie and a writer. Of course, Ing is a writer and hotter but most of you know that! And, please take note of Ing’s hot antler baby doll t-shirt! What an awesome babe! Olivia Newton-John, eat y’r heart out!
Ing rules and rocks San Francisco! Rock on, Ms. Ing!!!
Oh! And, they have returned with a new collection of 80’s songs gone to samba!!! Run, don’t walk and pick this up!!! It is not to be missed! I mean — they cover “Bela Lagosi’s Dead” and “Heart of Glass”!!!! Not to be missed! I think this is even better than the first album!!!! Oh, and you will love their cover “Blue Monday”!!!!
Oh, and did you hear that Goldfrapp may be doing the new theme for the new James Bond film!?!?! Yay!!!!!