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PASSING WIND ON MUNI OR iPOD HORROR!!!

Well, we all knew that my beloved Mini iPod would start to act up sooner or later. That perfect pink color could only keep it going strong for so long. It has been doing funny things for a while now, but today was the absolute worst! I’ve been learning all kinds of new tricks that my iPod can do of which I was not aware! Anyway, last night I decided it was time to “re-synch” so I did. It took my poor little mini close to one full hour to synch up. All I did was take off some tracks with which I had grown a wee-bit tired. One too many plays of The White Stripes and Ursula 1000. Anyway, I decided to put Heart back on to rotation in my shuffle mode.

I like Heart. Don’t get me wrong. I think I own all of their stuff pre-1985. They totally ruled. A sort of female Led Zep for the ages with just enough southern California rock roots to make it soft when it needed to be.

Of course, by the 80’s they had sold out and gone the way of the Power Ballad. But, still — classic rock at it’s best! “Dreamboat Annie” is an almost perfect album. I even like “Magazine” — which, at one time, was one of my fave LP’s with which to stone.

Anyway, I couldn’t decide which tracks to upload to my iPod so I just moved all of them over. So, there are now 1292 songs on my iPod. But, when I selected “shuffle” I was greeted with the ultimate horror. Currently, my iPod will ONLY play Heart. …and, for some odd reason, it will only play certain Heart songs. …over and over.

Kids, I have heard the “Bebe Le Strange” and “Magazine” LP’s 3 times today. I can’t get any Goldfrapp to play. No Barbra. No Led Zep. No Antony & The Johnstons. Just Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

…it wouldn’t be so bad if it would only play Goldfrapp. I could handle that.

On my way to the Castro this afternoon I was so very sick of hearing Ann & Nancy that I just turned it off. Well, I should say — I “attempted” to turn it off. Currently, my iPod will not turn off. It is playing “Raised On You” on what appears to be an endless repeat loop. This is iPod torture.

I hope to figure it out tonight when I can try to re-synch. A guy can only take so much Heart, you know!

Anyway, as I pulled out my ear plugs in frustration — the little old man sitting next to me let out what had to be the loudest fart in the history of the Bay Area mass transit. It was so loud that everyone just sort of stopped and looked. I think we all wanted to laugh but the old man just sat there without expression. It was as if he was pretending that nothing had happened. Then he did it again. But, this time the obnoxious whoopee cushion-like sound was accompanied by a stench that I can only think to be similar to that of a 2 week old rotting corpse on a summer’s day. It was HORRIBLE!

I mention this because the newly re-mastered and special edition DVD of WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? came out on DVD this week! It is full of way-cool extras! Most exciting will be a vintage featurette created to promote the film prior to its initial release in 1962! You know this film still packs a punch, tho it now carries a camp factor. It is easy to imagine how very shocking it must have been for audiences to see Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in such a strange, creepy and gross film! And, so fucking cool that Bette Davis went the distance and had no fear of leaving her glam looks behind to look tragically grotesque and decadent. Too bad Ms. Crawford felt the need to retain the glam look — even tho she should have looked wasted from sitting in a wheel chair upstairs with only her pet birds to eat. But, now — that makes the film all the more fun and better! AND — Charles Busch and Lypsinka provide the commentary!!! Oh, and that seldom seen episode of The Andy Williams Show in which Bette Davis appeared as part of her promotion for the movie!!! I can’t wait. I forget why I felt this related to both my iPod Heart issue and breaking wind on Muni but at some point it made sense to me. Oh well. I do wish that they had included the clip of Joan Crawford accepting Anne Bancroft’s OSCAR after she beat out Bette Davis. Joan Crawford: Bitch Extraordinare! A tip of the hat!

And, kids!!! Don’t forget! Next week we have the newly re-mastered and special delux edition of MOMMIE DEAREST to warm our hearts. It will be filled with lots of really neat extras — neatest of which will be a dual commentary from the film’s top celeb fans — John Waters and Lypsinka (is she attempting a comeback?!?!?) — if only Faye Dunaway could have gotten a grip and recorded commentary for it. Poor Faye. It is actually a damn good performance — I think the director just forced her to stick with the film/iconic image of Crawford 24/7 vs. the way she wanted to play the legend. Still, that aspect makes the film so much fun some 20 years later.

…best line: “Don’t fuck with me, fellas! This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!” or “If she gets mad at you she can make you disappear” …or, “When I asked you to call me that — I wanted you to say it like you meant it” …I don’t think it is “No more wire hangers!” …that one gets over-used at this point.

“…maybe I needed a little bit of publicity.” — that was a good one. Or, I do enjoy her attempt at composure just before she goes off on that little bitchy teenage Christina and says to the Photoplay reporter, “Barbara, please!” …Actually, Lypsinka used that in her act for over a decade. Seems like she used to have a little female midget follow her about with a pad and pen as she lip synched that line over and over. I miss Lypsinka!

Sigh. I can’t fucking wait!!!!

OK — if I can’t fix my iPod I will have to sell my body to get a new and proper iPod. Tho, I doubt anyone would pay me enough. I think the iPod goes for $300. I can’t afford that right now. Damn, it! …but, I can afford those two DVD’s and you know I will be in line at Virgin tomorrow!!!!

kisses,
matty

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May 31, 2006. Uncategorized.

11 Comments

  1. thomas replied:

    my ipod died too, and it totally refused to turn off before it died, it just continued playing until the bitter end. and Mommie Dearest!!!! i adore that movie. it has some of the best lines ever.

    did you say anything to the muni fart machine?

  2. digitic replied:

    We’ll talk tomorrow about your adventures but in the mean time let your iPod run totally out of juice and then force it to run out even more (run the stopwatch or something) until it refuses to turn on. This will reset it (at least that’s what happens to my Nano).

    Worth a try.

  3. crabcake replied:

    OOOO, Matty. Thanks for the mommy dearest reminder. I wanna see that.

    I have to replace my i-pod too. May she rest in peace. Or pieces, sadly.

    PS. Case ya didn’t notice I’m a horny pig for HNT. Just temporary. No worries. I haven’t totally lost it.

  4. Motor City Monk replied:

    What’s up with everyone’s iPod dying? I hope mine still has some life in it…then again, my mini’s 1,100-1,200 song capacity has been full for some time now so all my new CD’s aren’t on there. I think my wife’s gonna get me a proper 20 or 40 gig iPod for my birthday in December – guess I can wait unless my iPod dies before my b-day.

  5. Matt replied:

    1292 songs!! I have deleted a bunch of tracks and my iPod mini is down to 785 songs, over half of which are Chinese/Mandarin pops. Hmmm…I usually don’t turn on the shuffle mode because sometimes I’m just not up to surprises, and I have to take it out of my pocket and skip the track and waste the battery. So I’ve got playlis by the year and by the artist.

  6. ing replied:

    Matty, when are you going to teach me how to ipod? I’m culturally bereft!

    That repeating Heart thing is truly a nightmare in the making. Craaaaazy, crazy on yoooooooooou-oooooo.

    So my favorite scene in Mommy Dearest might be when Dunaway’s washing her face with ice water. Maybe. There are so many good scenes. . .

  7. sage replied:

    I saw Heart on their “Dreamboat Annie” tour way back when I was in high school–back when they let you smoke indoors so the place was filled with smoke and there were not enough cigarette smoke to mask the pot.

  8. The Electric Orchid Hunter replied:

    Talk about strange. I made a playlist of all the new music from the last two years for my iPod, but each time I open it, it’s completely blank! The playlist plays fine on my PC, but just doesn’t update to the ‘pod.

    Aah, such cool DVDs. Wish I lived in an NTSC country instead of a PAL one; although my DVD player does play my Australian version of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, so maybe it’s multiregional. Hmmm. Will have to check out amazon.com for these delicious treasures.

  9. jungle jane replied:

    I HATE my i-pod passionately. its been a dog from day one. i have insiders in Apple who tell me its very common – tons of them break. they freeze, they crash and they get stuck.

    i am also in the market for a new MP3 player – i am definitely not getting another iPod…its been 2 years of hell…

  10. matt replied:

    Thomas — Many iPod worries as of late! No, believe it or not — I did not speak to the farting man. I restrained myself.

    Milford — See Jungle Jane’s comments!!! She will be your new hero!

    Crabcake — That is an interesting profile shot! I’m sorry your iPod is dead! Yes, you must replace it! …and, I know you’ve not lost it!

    Motor City Monk! Yes!!! Wait till year’s end. I hear that there is a new iPod for fall!!!

    matt — cool! No, I like the surprise element. And, often I just let the ipod guide my day! But, I understand. Yeah, this Nano will only fit 359 song for now — too many extended Goldfrapp/Madonna remixes, I think. It should fit about 500 songs. oy.

    Ing — I will teach you how to use your iPod whenever you’re ready. You should probably just give it to me. You don’t need one. Give it to me! LOL! Anytime you’re ready to learn — tell me! You will love it. It is actually quite easy and we both know you’re way smarter than I! You know, I do all the same things that Joan does in Mommie Dearest when I first get up in the morning. Signing all the photographs on my way to the dental office is getting a bit old, tho. Fan mail. What’s a boy to do?

    Sage — That is so cool! I would have LOVED to experience that!!!

    Electric Orchid Hunter — You know, mine was doing that toward the end. Uusually, if I went into preferences and unchecked all playlists, re-synced, then checked them again and synched once more it would pick ’em up. ??? Might want to try that. No reason it shouldn’t pick it up. Get a region free player! You can order them off the Internet for next to nothing — and, Radio Shack makes one which retails here for $45. !!!!

    Jungle Jane — Yeah, I’ve heard similar and Milford is very Anti-Mac. Seems like it is a sort of luck of the draw when it comes to iPods. However, I am always impressed with the responsiveness of Apple in resolving issues.

  11. Tim replied:

    Y’know, I’ve never actually watched Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. I’ve meant to though. I have read the book though! My iPod Shuffle died a year and a month after I bought it. Am currently trying to get a cheap iPod off eBay, as I refuse to pay full price for another one that will only last 12 months.

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