So, I’ve been reading the autobiography by Pete “Dead or Alive/You Spin Me Round” Burns. I discovered it thanks to one of my fave people,

  • Lubin, formerly known as The Trash Addict. …However, Lubin changed the name of his site because he neither an addict or trashy. Smart move. I was curious about this book so I got a copy and I’ve not been able to put it down.

    It is poorly written and destined for the bargain bin, but oddly hypnotic.

    I gather that this book was fueled and created by Pete’s appearance on Celebrity Big Brother UK where he shocked and rocked the nation with his odd fashion sense and cosmetic surgery survival stories. Actually, he looks a bit like Cher after a bender a bit too much botox. …What a difference a decade can make…

    Anyway, the book is odd. It is about Pete Burns and his life but you never walk away with a true sense of him or his life. Partly because I am not sure Pete Burns can hold on to a string of thought long enough to tell a complete story. Tho, he does make it very clear that David Bowie was NEVER an influence. Apparently is was all about Suzi Quatro for Pete. His mother was some sort of royalty who pal’d about with Marlene Dietrich but this is never really explained or discussed. It is simply thrown out there for us to “know” — however I can tell you all about Pete’s horribly botched lip job. More than I would ever want to tell you, actually. Oh, and he thinks Madonna is “tired” and he can hear many other people’s melodies in her music so he feels he never need listen to her work. Ok. But, he loves Suzie Quatro. And, there is a great picture of he and Elton John in which Elton actually looks a bit worried and uncomfortable. Who can blame him? Still. I’d like to have dinner with Pete Burns. He seems to be a complex, odd and interesting character. Boy? Man? Girl? Woman? Dead or Alive? I don’t think he knows. But, he has a life partner. …and there is a very creepy picture of Pete posing with his boyfriend’s little girl who looks as dazed and confused as Pete.

    Interesting bits are mentioned but never formerly explored. Such as the following:

    “…He (Pete’s pussy-whipped father) has his own way of dealing with it and the last occasion he had to, it was on Christmas when my mum was sitting in a chair and she kicked my dad in the back and he fell into the fire. I said, ‘She’s drunk!’ and he was going, ‘She’s not drunk!’ as he beat the flames out of his sweater.”

    …Now, this is all we know of this little incident, but I want to know more! Pete! Why did she kick him? Did she respond to the question of her behavior? Did he leave her? Did she leave him? To leave the reader wanting more is one thing but to leave the reader confused is a whole other agenda. In fact, the next paragraph goes into Pete’s discussion of fact is stranger than fiction. Actually, there is a lot in Pete’s book that seems oddly familiar. I am not saying that Pete made up anything but I have to wonder if he doesn’t get his reality mixed with movies and novels. I’ve read some of these things before. And the scary discussions of his cosmetic surgical nightmares. Creepy stuff!!!

    One thing is for sure — this puts the Jane Fonda autobiography to shame — and she has led an interesting life. Yet, Pete could have taught Jane a few things about how to bring it to life!

    As Pete writes, “I don’t use makeup any more. I use knives.” …and, maybe, a few spoons…



    May 15, 2006. Uncategorized.


    1. g8s replied:

      I miss the old Pete Burns. Back when they were S/A/W’s first success story, Dead or Alive were really edgy, and I remember buying all their 12″ singles. The original porno mix of ‘Something in my house’ was quite scandalous back then.

    2. thomas replied:

      My mother, repressed and ultimately unsatisfied woman that she was, also fearing my budding homosexuality, saw videos of Culture Club and Dead or Alive back to back one evening and became quite angry that these “men” would garb themselves as women. These videos so disturbed her that she became visibly agitated every time they came on the TV at home and complained that Boy George and Pete Burns were clearly deviants who hated themselves and everyone around them. She categorized anyone with alternate lifestyles at subhuman and destined for psychological breakdown, oftentimes pulling down everyone around them as they went. And then, years later, my mother wondered why I wasn’t more open with her about my sexuality.

    3. jungle jane replied:

      i used to think Pete was such a fucking gorgeous cutie back in Dead or Alive days.

      Mind you, we all know how much i fancy trannies so i guess his new look is pretty much down my alley too….

    4. ginab replied:

      Maybe s/he wrote the book by placing a short pencil between its lips. would explain a lot.

      You’re generous Matty.

    5. Me replied:

      This is so depressing! I used to adore him. He was so beautiful. His lips are just horrible! I’m not sure whether to feel sorry for him or laugh. I am still a sucker for men in makeup though… AND he’s tattooed! But the lips, good god, the lips!

    6. The Electric Orchid Hunter replied:

      I discovered a magazine out of the 1980s in the garage, the other day; the music section had this snippet about Pete’s crazy fans in it. Especially memorable was the one woman who desperately wanted to massage his wrists. Just thought I’d share that with you. The Youthquake album played a significant role in my formative years: I remember my sister playing it nonstop whilst adding another can of hairspray to her ‘do before going out Friday nights…

    7. matt replied:

      odd thing is — I can’t put this book down.

    8. Lubin replied:

      Isn’t he in prison now or something?

    9. Tim replied:

      Pete was just a *little* bit odd on Celebrity Big Brother …. although, everyone is odd on Celebrity Big Brother – it’s like the law. Car crash TV at its best/worst.

    10. ing replied:

      Woah! I remember the okld Pete Burns, vaguely, from MTV. I had no idea.

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