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MAGICAL ASS MISSILES

Can someone please tell me why Liza Minnelli refuses to leave my nightmares?!?!? And, last night she invaded them with that creepster wedding of hers! And, of course, I promptly threw up when I woke up in a sweat! That horror-show of face she married was looming above me along with hers and it was just horrible!!!! …this was similar to my nightmare except there were knives and Liz Taylor was not in it. Actually, this picture might even be more upsetting than my dream. Shivers.

Ok, kids — so here is how today went down with a bit of background.

So, in addition to his being totally insane my father was also a true hypocondriac and when you grow up with a crazy person who always thinks he is sick — or at least in my case — you do all you can to avoid being like that. I’ve always tossed cookies fairly easy. And, generally, when that happens I just keep moving. I figure that your body will tell you when it needs to just stop. So, this week when I woke up sick — I had to give in for two days but I pushed forward as quickly as I could. This morning was horrible. I really felt bad but I kept thinking that I could not afford to miss any work and I could just not eat today and I’d be cool. I would just continue to drink lots and lots of water.

Well, bad plan. I got to work. First thing one of my bosses says to me is, “Matty, you look like hell! Why are you here?” I just laughed and told him I was fine. But, as the morning went on it was clear that I was not really fine. In fact, after I nearly passed out — AGAIN (!) — I found myself lying in one of our “operating theatre chairs” while my boss contacted his doctor (who also works in our building) …an hour later they made me get in a cab and come home. …tho, the cash could only get me as far as West Portal. Still, wasn’t that sweet of them??? I felt so loved. I also felt really stupid and embarrassed.

As I got that feeling that I was about to pass out I just knew that one of my biggest fears was about to become a reality. Brain tumor. I mean, who is sick to their stomach for this long??!?!? Anyway, much happy to report that I have a stomach virus that has been going around our building for about a week now. As the doctor put it, most people just stay down for a solid 48 hours — sleeping and getting sick and just not doing anything but allowing their bodies to rest. I, on the other hand, have continually gotten up, tried to eat, drank a lot of Diet Coke (cuz I thought it settles stomachs), attempted to go to work when I should have stayed in bed, passed out on public transit, forced myself to drink water even when my stomach was rejecting it, etc. I was pseudo-lectured to take care of my body and that pain is a sign of something wrong. I was then given a prescription of a medication that one applies via a point of entry I’d rather not write — but, let me tell you — those little things work!!! And, boy! …they have made me feel a little high as well. For the first time since Monday — I am not cramping! Yay!

Anyway, I was assured that this was not a tumor. It was just me not taking care of myself and managing to stretch a 48 hour virus to close to 5 days. I was told to take this medicine for the next 12 hours or so — and to just stay still, suck on ice (no drinking of water/tea/soda or eating of food till the cramping and nausea is gone. The doctor felt I should feel close to 100% by tomorrow afternoon if I take it easy — and get more sleep. I was further advised that if I was still tossing cookies by tomorrow at Noon that I have to go to the hospital for an IV. My bosses are so sweet — they want me to call them if that happens and will make sure it is all paid for! …my insurance will not start till next month. However, I was told I would be just fine if I just chilled and took it easy. Sigh.

I have plans with Ing for tomorrow night! Not sure that will be happening. And, then I have a date for Saturday. Not sure if that will be happening. But, I feel fairly certain that Liza will be visiting me in my nightmares again. Why? What is up with that? Is she the Gay Freddy Kruger!?!?!

Anyway, here I lay with my laptop on my chest and little missiles of medicine up my butt. (sorry. said I wasn’t going there, but I did) and classical music playing on the stereo. I am feeling a bit stoned, slightly sick to my stomach, a shade of a head ache and bored beyond belief. ….and, here I shall be staying thru to the ‘morrow afternoon. I sure hope I don’t have to go to the hospital. I don’t even know where the hospital is in SF. Guess I will have to ask Mily if it comes to that. He is going to be lecturing to me later. But, it comes from love. I think. Right, Milly? Milford, I mean. He hates being called Milly. But, he is so cute I like calling him that.

Ok. Well. A nap is calling me. A side effect of the little missiles. …those things could be addictive.

not spell checking and I hope the above makes some form of sense.
tumor free,
matty

The Sick iPod Shuffle Home From West Portal Where My Cash Flow Ended:
walking on thin ice/yoko ono
love jam #1/har mar superstar
the circus is leaving town/isobelle campbell & mark lanegan
china/tori amos
one of us is gonna die/the ark
two kinds of love/stevie & bruce
kashmir/led zep
two tone rocka/ursula 1000

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May 4, 2006. Uncategorized.

17 Comments

  1. Jon replied:

    Now I’m thinking of the Governator saying ‘It’s not a tu-mah’ from the crappy film, ‘Kindergarten Cop’

    But, I’m glad you are ok and just need a little r’n’r. Get better, sheesh! ^_~

  2. Pixie Sprinkle replied:

    That picture is scary. They look like wax figures. All of them. That husband particularly looks like a giant joke candle.

    Get better soon Matty. Drink lots of Vodka and eat heaps of cake. I know about these things…

  3. matt replied:

    Jon — LOL! How odd that the Kindergarten Cop is my governator.

    Pixie! Yes! I so want them out of my head!!! ….but for good!!! Oh, to have a cake filled with vodka or rum. …if only I could drink. …but the missle high is pretty good!

  4. joe replied:

    perhaps what you have is a Liza related delusion. you’re really not gay, you’re straight! and love women! or at least liza!

    anyhoo, stay away from the lynch movies (i do love his movies) and watch something wholesome (like Anne of Green Gables) while you rest. we want a healthy matty to go more adventures and talk to other random strangers.

  5. Mone replied:

    I think the hospital is somewhere near misson street. But if you take it easy you wont need it.
    Can you send me a missile? I want to get high too! Please?

    PS: Make love – not war!

  6. ing replied:

    Hey, Pukester!

    There’s a hospital where Mission intersects with Valencia, just down the street from that church you’re considering joining just because the neon cross and the steel buttresses and the angular glass are pretty.

    Matty, can I call you Pukester? Just for a few days? Puh-leeeeeeeze?

    I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. But I cannot contract your puking affliction! I might have a second date coming!

  7. matt replied:

    Joe — As entertaining as that might be, I fear I am about as gay as one can get. And, I don’t like Liza much at all. Just in CABARET. She seems to haunt my nightmares in the worst way. Scary and creepy. I had to do a search for Anne of Green Gables — don’t know that I could make it thru that one. Dark Voyage might be fun, tho. “…it’s ok. just make sure he has a great party. now, cover me with that quilt while I quietly die. do you think he noticed I was blind??!?!?”

    Worry not — I shall be meeting and interacting with the stangeness that is this town in no time. Just hope I am able to be well for my date tomorrow!!! oy!

    Mone – you are correct! I don’t wanna go there, tho. So, here’s to holding down my food and beverage!

    Ing — but I don’t wanna be called Pukester. Well, maybe Punky Pukester — or should that be brewster?!?!? Yeah, that is a pretty building but I suspect you’re right — not worth converting to an organized religion just to tour the space. I don’t want you to get sick, either. Am about to lay back down.Will call you when I awaken and see how I feel. I think it might be best, sadly, if we postpone our Nighty Night screening. ugh!

  8. Matt replied:

    Get better Matt. Stock up on the diet coke (and cookies) LOL

  9. sage replied:

    hope you’re feeling better. that pic is enough to make you want to give up on the human race.

  10. Robert replied:

    Poor baby. Get plenty of rest. Listen [more closely] to your body! 🙂 You’ll be better before you know it!

    Oh and I saw Liza at Costco the other day. They had a DVD of hers there. I still haven’t seen Cabaret. Are you proud of disappointed in me? Take care Babe!!!

  11. matt replied:

    Sage — Yes. I agree. It is almost enough to just make you want to say, “The end is near!” — but we plow on! And, I am feeling sooooooooo much better!!!! I guess I’ve gotten almost 18 hours sleep and my headache is all gone and I’m actually hungry!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!

    Robert — Now, did you see Liza at Costco or a DVD featuring Liza. An actual Liza siting could be quite horrific. Tho, I saw her perform in the early 90’s and I was a bit impressed. She was at the Stonewall NYC Gay Pride Celebration and performed that song from Kiss Of The Spiderwoman — it was like a few days after her hip was replaced. It was impressive. I think they had a bunch of kids from The Bronx to sing behind her. Anyway, I think she was the only performer to actually sing. …but, now she simply creeps me out. ???

    …regarding your question. I think Liza is a personal choice. However, for the record — CABARET is one of the best films to come out of the US. And, I think it is the one good thing she has ever done. However, the film is great due to the Fosse’s direction and the screenplay. Exceptional. And, she is quite effective in it. Before the scariness of uber-celeb set in — or whatever it is that causes her to seep into my nightmares!

    Can anyone tell I am totally bored out of my mind???

    …probably a good time for a blog post, but I do not feel inspired.

  12. ing replied:

    I would like to see Liza in Costco, sitting atop a pyramid of pop tart boxes.

    I’ll answer your email tomorrow Mattybabe. I just got back from salsa dancing and I’m tiiiired!

  13. digitic replied:

    I’m not gonna say a thing … no I’m not … really …

    Jeeeze ….

    But you don’t want to go to The General (hospital) … your doctor/bosses would throw a fit if they found you there — but then again, they ARE taking a bit of time with your insurance coverage.

    But I’m not going to say a peep …

    Jeeze …

  14. digitic replied:

    And that photo looks like the Munsters gone to hell!

    No wonder you’re having nightmares!

  15. matt replied:

    Milford! I felt pretty good later in the day yesterday! And, I woke up actually feeling normal!!! …or as normal as I ever get! So, yay!!!! Those missles and the additional forced sleep really pulled it thru!

    Yes. Munsters gone to Hell. Good description!

  16. Robert replied:

    I saw her trying out the samples at Costco. First in line, and wouldn’t let anyone through. So I’m POSITIVE that was her!

  17. Karyn replied:

    Aaaaaaaaaagh! My eyes! MY EYES!!

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