I will and tend to blog about anything that I feel like, but I do not blog about to work. However, I must let you all know that I was offered and accepted a job today! Effective tomorrow, I join the ranks of the employed.

You know, I bet most of you already know I was an odd child. But, when I was a little kid I had 3 fantasies about what I wanted to be when I grew up!

1. Barbara Eden as I Dream Of Jeannie! (I’m not sure if I understood that there was a difference between Ms. Eden and her role at the time. I think I actually thought she was a Jeannie and I so wanted to be her, have Major Nelson and live in a bottle.

2. A movie star…

3. A Receptionist… The idea of sitting at a front desk, answering the phone and assisting people just seemed like it would be such fun and glam!

Well, kids — today I discovered that dreams can come true!

I gave up my quest to be Barbara Eden ’round about the age of 4. Tho, I still wouldn’t mind living in a bottle as beautiful as the one she had. I wouldn’t want to be a girl and I no longer see the desire factor regarding Major Nelson. I gave up on the idea of being a movie star when I realized that I was easily crushed by a turn down from a community theater director. If I had trouble being evaluated on my looks by Mrs. Jones, there was no way I would be able to handle the audition process. Huh! I saw A chorus Line and ALL THAT JAZZ!

However, all my years in management I still dreamed of being a receptionist. I used to envy the folks who held this job. When I left Boston I did my very best to secure a Reception position but was constantly met with “You’re over-qualified” or “We do not think you would be challenged” —- But, this morning, I got the job! And it is in a gay positive, fun and cool environment! I am so excited.

First paycheck two weeks from Monday! Whoo-hoo! Of course, I am thinking it will take approximately a decade to catch up but it’s a paycheck! LOL!

I HAVE A JOB!!!! …don’t worry, I will still remain perplexed and angst-ridden. …but now I’ll have a budget!

February 23, 2006. Uncategorized.


  1. jungle jane replied:

    i am soooo happy for you matty – you are going to be the best receptionist in the whole world.

    you are SO ready to ask denim boy out.

    make sure you don’t have any brocolli stuck in your teeth on your first day, yeah?

  2. matt replied:

    Jungle Jane! Thank you! I’m going to do my very best! And yeah — everyone is so hot in this office. I need to look my best EVERY minute!

    No brocolli or grape leaves for me!

  3. Dessie replied:

    So… you get dental?

    I kill myself, really I do

  4. Kris replied:

    Really glad to hear that. You seem excited for what you’re gonna be doing so that’s a sign that you’ll be the best receptionist ever…well at that office at least.

  5. matt replied:

    Dessie! Oh, yes — I got dental! Yay! …now, maybe, at some point I can get my sorry-ass teeth fixed!

    Kris! No, I AM going to be the best Receptionist of all time! Of the world! …Of the universe! …To infinity and beyond! …or, at the very least — the best one in that office.

  6. digitic replied:




    Congrats Matt!!!

    This calls for a little celebration, eh?

  7. matt replied:

    Milford! Yay! Yesssss! …but I must be home early so that I can sparkle for my first day!!!

    sparkle, Neely, sparkle!

  8. ginab replied:


    A gay, positive environment NEEDS YOU! And, they pay in money and positive self-esteem(s). I am happy for you Matty!

    Yes, I dreamed of Jeanie too. She had great furniture in her pad, much better then the house she spent a great deal of time in. I never understood her attraction to her master. Then, she had no choice, right? Power to Jeanies in their given homesteads. Much cooler, much more swank, and even somehow pure.

    I raise a Diet Coke to you!


  9. ginab replied:

    Word verification: gkxomods

    Meaning: giant kisses, more and hug, mods.

    I am cool,damnit. I AM!

  10. ing replied:

    Yes, you are cool, ginab. And you can boogie!

    Matty! O Matty! You are going to make such a great receptionist — if I had to get a root canal or something, I just know you’d put me at ease.

    And I, too, like you and ginab, dreamed of being Jeannie. I thought she had the most beautiful hair in the world, and that cool liquid eyeliner — I wanted my eyes to have that little upslant at the corners. And now I would give just about anything for a round room with padded seating all around, done up in satin. I can’t remember what color Jeannie’s room was, but mine would be pink.

    I have no idea why I thought master was cute at the time — it must have been the uniform. He’s actually kind of like Darren on Bewitched; the supposed ruler, but really kind of incompetent.

    Anyway, I’m all curious about the dress code at the dentist’s. . . will you buy some cool new receptionist’s duds? (I know it’s expensive, but I would love to take you to Nordstrom’s; the clothes last and last. . . if I were a receptionist, I would most definitely dress the part. I was a legislative reporter for a while, and I had all these great pleated skirts and blouses and crazy blazers.)

    I also wonder if you’ll have one of those phone headsets. Wouldn’t that be neat? I’m soooo very happy for you, and I’m extra-glad that you will remain perplexed and angst-ridden (and full of positive energy!).

  11. matt replied:

    I’m all behind on my blog reading, but must get to bed!!! Wahhhh! But, not! Because I have a place to go tomorrow! …and, a job to do!

    Gina — you rock always! Please! Totally cool!

    Ing — will tell ya all tomorrow night! I don’t care for the headsets. I am a more old-fashioned hands-on kind of guy. Besides, I’ll be jumpin’ all over the place. I really think I am going to like this job! And, yeah! Can’t wait to get some clothes that fit better, but Nordsroms is out of budget for a while! LOL! Just call me Thrift Shop Sadie.

    …actually, no. Please don’t call me Thrift Shop Sadie. Let’s just stick with Matt.

    Tomorrow, a nice pair of jeans (they do fit) and a way cool DKNY shirt I found for $3 at Out of the Closet! Still had it’s tags on it and everything! …and my monkey with enormous penis necklace for good luck!

    As Commander Josh says, now go bed.

  12. ing replied:

    Sexy Sadie, you mean? (Remember, the necklace has strange powers, and your fortune cookie predicted something in spring, and it’s no longer a job something!)

  13. purplesimon replied:

    I come from Ing’s blog to say congratulations on the job. It was an order – she commands, does she not?

    I am now spending time reading through your hilarious antics. Why have I not come here before?

    BTW, I also have sorry-ass teeth. I don’t get dental cover, I’m self-employed. My teeth remain sorry-ass until they fall out.

    Expect me to be back. You’ve got yourself another regular reader, Matty.

    purplesimon out…

  14. Karyn replied:

    Job Ahoy! Rock on, Receptionista!

  15. crabcake replied:

    YES! I knew it would come round for you, Matty. Ya just gotta wait out the bad times, that’s all.

    I wanted to be Samantha from bewitched so I could make stuff happen by twitching my nose. (never did work)

  16. ed frame replied:

    Just to say congratulations on getting your job. I’ve been very impressed by your commitment to find a job. It’s put my job-seeking to shame (i.e. getting up at 11.30am, going on the internet for ten minutes to find a job then having a nap for the rest of the day). But you make me want to go out there and get a job!

    I hope you party and treat yourself!

  17. Meredith replied:

    Yay, Matty! That’s fabulous news.
    Now we just need to find you a man! Preferably one not wearing cutoffs or smelling of cheese.
    I still want to be Jeanie. Who the hell wouldn’t! Live in a luxurious bottle, look fabulous and have some dumb man falling all over you. Sign me up.

  18. JackJumpedOverTheMoon replied:

    Congratulations Matt!!!



  19. crabcake replied:

    Matty, I’m linking you over at the cowpie field.

  20. matt replied:

    Crapcake — did you know that in ‘the old days’ cowboys used to take cow patties, let them dry in the sun and use them as plates? Yes, it is true! Brings a whole new concept for the BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN Sequel, does it not? …and, thanks for linkin’ me up!

    Purplesimon — Thanks! Yes, best to follow Ing’s directions! And, thanks!

    Meredith — If we can find a way, I would be willing to trade off roles. Like you could be Jeannie one week while I was the brunette evil idientical cousin, Jeannie. Then the following week we could switch. Tony would never notice. …and I’ve always wanted to swim in a bottle of expensive perfume.

    Jackjumpoverthemoon! Thank you!

    Karyn! Thanks!

    Gina — Ing and I were talkin’ ’bout ya last night wishing you could join in our midnight conversation at my fave skeevy dinner in the Tenderloin!

    Ed Frame – Hi! Thank you and hang in there! Drop me an email sometime!

  21. Meredith replied:


  22. Dessie replied:


    Matty these Freudian slips are becoming an issue dear… 😉

  23. joe replied:

    hewwo? can you cowwect me to the boss?

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