I love the way the fog flows into San Francisco and embraces us in a sort of cool dampness. I believe that I am living in one of the cooler and foggier sections of the city. I suspect that this hug of fog allows for more of some life forms than others. One form of life that seems to thrive on this street is that of the snail.

Aside from having heard about Crispin Glover’s “film project” for over ten years (which, from what I can gather involves snails), having read (and loved) JT LeRoy’s HAROLD’s END and that episode of I LOVE LUCY where snails are served as food (I think Lucy, Ricky, Ethyl and Fred were in France or Hollwood) — I have never really seen or thought about snails. So, since I’ve lived here I’ve stopped many a morning/evening and watched all of these snails crawl with their shells from one side of the walkway to the other. It is like a mini exodus in the morning from the left side to the right. Then, during the cool dark of evening they all try to travel back across the pavement to the left from from where they started in the morning. I find them both cute and repulsive.

Anyway, when I am walking down the street in the early am or after the sun has set I walk in the street so as not to harm the many little snails making their pointless journey.

Last night Vic and I used my free pass to see a sneak preview of the new Rob Zombie movie, DEVIL’S REJECTS. I got home a bit late and there was a creepy-looking guy about twice my size on the train who decided to get off with me at my stop. I had just sat thru 2 hours of murder, horror and spooky texas mayhem so I was feeling a wee bit suspicious of my odd and bulky “pal” —- so I walked quickly to my street and and walked at even faster pace when I realized he had turned onto my street behind me. Suddenly I heard tiny cracking sounds and felt something beneath my feet. I realized at once what I had done.

Crazy axe killer be damned — I stopped dead in my tracks and looked down. My feet were surrounded by tiny snails making their way across the pavement. I almost couldn’t bear to look but I lifted my right foot to step off the sidewalk and, in the glow of the street light, I saw the crushed little life forms. I felt awful. …and more than a little disgusted. I then jumped off the pavement and opted not to look at what I had killed with my left foot.

I stood on the side of the street for a few minutes. The “dangerous” man walked past me and wished me a good evening. I could hear the snaps and crunches as he walked by — and continued to watch as he entered the house next door to Alan’s. I don’t think he even noticed what he had done.

I guess I felt a sadness that I would not have never expected to feel over the death of snails.

July 7, 2005. Uncategorized.


  1. Karyn replied:

    Matt, you’ve a lovely soul. I know exactly what you mean. That kind of thing can be quite upsetting. I’m sure the snails forgive you. They are much happier in the great beyond where, with any luck, they will be recycled into a higher, happier life form. Or be allowed off the cosmic carousel, perhaps.

    Take heart, Matty. One oopsie like that doesn’t undo a life lived with infinite kindness.


  2. Jon replied:

    So now you live next door to creepy guy! Isn’t it a small world?

  3. Miss Marisol replied:

    This is officially one of my Top Ten Favorite Blog Entries Ever. No joke.

    You should rework it and submit it to be published. I’m not joking. That’s a great story.
    There is a magazine that I love and I think it is based in Oakland. It’s called “Kitchen Sink: For People Who Think Too Much.” That would be perfect for them.

  4. g8s replied:

    You know, Chica’s right; this is really a nice one. After you get this published, come to Florent to celebrate with a glass of champagne & an order of escargots…


  5. matt replied:

    Karyn — Thank you!

    Jon — Actually, I don’t think he is creepy. It was just me being paranoid. Tho, he was oblivious to the little snail empire he was crushing.

    Miss Marisol & g8s – Aw, I am blushing! But, you two are the writers!

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