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WHERE AM I GOING

…is the name of a song from a bad musical called “Sweet Charity” and I think it captures a lot of what I am feeling right now. I had 3 possible job prospects as of yesterday, but 2 of the 3 fell through and the third is for a corporation which is currently under fire for misleading their clients. I don’t know. Sometimes I worry that I am just fooling myself to think that I am going to succeed at “starting over” — I try to push that thought down, but shoes just keep falling from the sky and I feel as if I am running out of shelters. Sometimes I feel that one of these shoes is bound to land sqaurely on my head and knock my fat ass to the curb. Still, I will just keep pushing forward — am just not entirely sure to where is I am headed.

This afternoon I needed to just clear my head. I didn’t want to spend the money on a movie and it was really a bit cool to go to the beach so I ended up walking around the Russian Hill area. …at least, I think I was in the Russian Hill area. Anyway, it was beautiful and a nice walk. And — for the first time I FINALLY saw a couple of those infamous wild parrots I have always heard about! It really is kind of strange to see a couple of parrots flying about, but then again this is San Francisco. As I was watching them an old man passing by said something to me.

I paused my iPod and asked him what he had said and he said, “This is the city of dreams! Everything and anything is possible”

I just smiled, but couldn’t help but think I had stumbled into one of those Tales of the City novels.

Met up with my pal, Milford, tonight. He took me to the best burger place in Daly City! But, I think I might have gained back every bit of weight I’ve lost! LOL!

Anyway, if this is the city of dreams where everything and anything is possible — there has got to be something good waiting for me. Somehow. Somewhere.

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June 21, 2005. Uncategorized.

8 Comments

  1. Karyn replied:

    Might I suggest you go back to the beach (that of bird crap and shark infamy) and concentrate on smiting those who thwart your (herculean) efforts towards gainful employment? I know it’s not particularly nice but it just might be cathartic and God knows it will be effective! Ha!

    PS, give it up, you don’t have a fat ass.

  2. Miss Marisol replied:

    Very soon, you will find yourself in new employ and this time of limbo will seem like a bizarre dream.

  3. snarl71 replied:

    Matt, I can’t believe I’m about to do this…but here I go. I’m quoting a Barbra Streisand song:

    “Someday, somewhere
    We’ll find a new way of living
    Will find there’s a way of forgiving
    Somewhere… somewhere… somewhere…
    There’s a place for us”

    You’re on your way there to that new way of living. Hold that chin up, interview your ass off, and good things will come. Though I tend to disagree with much of what your mother has been saying lately, I have to agree that you’re a fighter. I KNOW you are.

  4. Underling replied:

    I mean…if you can get Karl to quote Babs…you can do anything!

  5. blakhope9 replied:

    From reading your blogs, I will have to say that you have had an interesting time here in SF so far. To be successful here, the city really makes you work for it by putting you though ALL kinds of tests.

  6. Jon replied:

    Life is about the ride. Of course we need money to survive, but you’re half way there. When you make it big, you can pay back your friends and buy me a car, k? ^_^

  7. Doug replied:

    Sweet Charity is NOT a bad musical….HMPH. And Karl didnt quote Babs…he quoted Stephen Sondheim the genius who wrote the lyrics…LOL

  8. g8s replied:

    So, about these jobs… Are they all in the same line of work? And is that line of work one which you want to continue to do? I’m just thinking about what that old man said to you; maybe there’s something else you’d rather be doing, and you simply haven’t shared that with us yet?

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