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BIRD SHIT

OK. Sunday. Beach. Me. The sun. The sweet, cool and clean breeze. The hot surferes. The waves. Happy dogs and happy people. ABBA on my iPod. All is feeling sort of OK in the world. Splat. A seagull takes a dump directly on my head. Not a small dump. A huge — almost human sized dump.

sigh.

Me. On the N Juddah for 20 minutes. Me. On the M streetcar outbound for 15 minutes. Me with a hair full of bird shit and a number of fellow Muni passengers trying to pretend that they don’t notice. NIN on my iPod — more fitting.

OK. Today. Me. Sitting outside the Opera House. The sun. The fresh breeze keeping the heat down low. My brain absorbing as much information relating to California HR and Union law as possible in preparation for my big round table interview. My watch. I’ve been studying for close to 3 hours. Time to head to the Castro, check my mail and wait at Sweet Inspiration as I am finally meeting up with a nice guy from match.com. I stand. Tori Amos on my iPod. Splat. A bird, type unknown, shits on my head. Granted, not as much as yesterday, but significant.

Me. On the #49 bus for 10 minutes. Me. On the M streetcar outbound for 25 minutes. Me, once again, with bird shit gelled into my hair and a number of nubile Sanrio obsessed girls trying to conceal their laughter. Everything But the Girl on my iPod — trying to be a bit zen about it.

Yeah, I know it is considered “good luck” in several cultures. However, given the past 10 months of my life — this is just me getting shit on by birds two days in a row.

sigh.

Is it me?

Still, I washed my hair quickly and zipped back to the Casro where I had a very nice dinner with a really cool guy. We went to this new place where everything is grilled on those long sticks. I can’t remember the name of the place or what you call it when grilled meat/veggies are speared on to a stick and rest on a bed of jasmine rice. Anyway, this is a new place and it was fantastic, cheap and as I had salmon — healthy! We agreed to meet up again and no birds shit on me as I headed back home! …so, maybe things are looking up! …well, a boy can hope.

Mylene Farmer was on my iPod on the way home — Fuck Them All (extended remix) being my song choice for the night ride home.

By the way, isn’t “ONLY” by NIN one of the best songs to come out in quite a while! I love it! Nice to know that, tho, the world may continue to spiral in all sorts of alarming directions (threats of more tsunamis, silly waste of California tax payer money by Arnold, Michael Jackson is cleared of any wrong-doing because is rich and Tom Cruise jumps on Oprah’s furniture — but we can still count on Trent Reznor to stay really angst and angry!)

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June 13, 2005. Uncategorized.

8 Comments

  1. Miss Marisol replied:

    When I was in Bangkok, I couldn’t get in to the King’s palace because you can’t shorts inside the palace walls (even though it was 5 million degrees out). So, I was a little peeved and I went and sat in the park across from the palace.

    Of course, a wonderful Thai bird shat on my head. This was during the first weeks of the whole SARS scare and I was of course freaking out that I was going to get some scary bird disease.

    My bf laughed at me and I didn’t die.

    But I’m with you. Bird. Poo. Sucks.

    This was a great post, by the way….I love the song choices for each vignette.

  2. snarl71 replied:

    It is supposed to be good luck when a bird craps on you. Though, if a second one does it, does that cancel out the first? Either way, maybe this is a sign of things to come.

    UM – quick question, though…if the first bird shat upon you at the beach…why didn’t you go to the water and stick your head in to wash it off?

  3. Robert replied:

    Think positively! I think it’s good luck! Birds like you! 🙂

    Didn’t know that you’re a Tori fan! This guy posted a live version of Tori’s cover on Kylie! “Na na na….”

  4. Underling replied:

    I’m with Karl on the beach thing…you should have washed it off in the water.

    I’ve been shat upon multiple times in the same day at work. But that’s be cause we stand under the telephone wires when we smoke.

    Another reason to give it up…

  5. Jon replied:

    Oh no. It also sucks when you wash and wax your car, only to have a bird shit on it. But I suppose having it land on your head is much worse 😉 I think it’s good luck in some cultures, but that’s just nasty. But, as they say, shit happens.

  6. Karyn replied:

    Good luck, my ass. Bird shit is gross, particularly when it lands on your person, and even more so when it lands on (and in) your hair which cannot be easily wiped up! EW! And washing ones hair in the ocean, while a good plan in theory, creates new problems if you are dressed and or going anywhere else and or do not have a towel and or have a thing about not wanting spiky, salty, waxy, bird poo coated hair. Yeccch!

    I’m feeling your pain Matt!

    But your blog was hilarious. 🙂

    Jon is right. Shit happens. Apparently quite a lot, in your case! Get a hat. 🙂

  7. Anonymous replied:

    Matthew,
    On your next outing on the beach, do as Michael Jackson does, wear an Umbrella.
    Keeps the Birds droppings away, keeps your skin untarnished, and most of all… you will look young & beautiful for ever.
    Think about it ! LOL
    Werner

  8. digitic replied:

    Hmmmm … I returned from out of town today, read your blog entry and then went for dinner. As I was walking to a restaurant I got hit with some bird doo, too. What’s up with that?!?!

    Maybe it has something to do with the 7.04 earthquake that just hit up by Eureka/Crescent City and the impending tsunami scare that followed.

    Just a thought.

    Oh … and I cleaned up in the restaurant’s restroom. Oy!

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