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PORN MERCHANT?!?!?

Ok, so I am in desperate need of getting some cash flow going. However, as I sat at the PC at Copy Central on Market Street I hesistated. I was about to print up some new copies of my resume as I had run out and one of these new copies was going to be attached to my application at the porn store for evening/weekend work.

I thought to myself,

“Is this a good idea?”

“Could this cost me a job with a potential employer for a real job?”

“How long before I tire of dealing with discussing sex toys with old guys in leather caps?”

And, then I thought — “What the hell? I need money! I am going for it!”

So, I went back to the porn store to turn in my application (the longest I have ever filled out, by the way! Go figure that out!?!?) and resume. An androgenous boy/girl was at the counter, he/she asked me to wait and she would get the boss. So, I waited while browsing the many sex toys I could potentially be selling — dildos of all shapes, sizes, colors and ornamentation — slings for the home — inflatable husbands complete with vibrating attachments — latex body parts — “make-your-own-dildo-kits — tit clamps of every type one could imagine — and, then the boss walked up.

He took my application/resume and sort of flipped thru it. And, here is a sample of our conversation (yes, I am omitting some of it because I can’t decide if I want to share the “full/unedited” discussion we had — mainly because I can’t decide if I was to be offended or complimented — regardless, I am not going to full-on-blog it)

“So, you know the position will be at another of our stores”

“Oh, well you had mentioned it might be”

“It will be. Still interested?”

“Well, where are the other stores located?”

“Might as well wait and see”

“OK. Well, you have my info”

“If you don’t hear from them within the next two weeks that means they already filled all the positions”

…now, he had been much more positive yesterday — at yet, he was more friendly this afternoon. The boy/girl pretended to be working, but was clearly listening to our conversation.

“Um, I have a question for you..”

“Ok”

…and, that is where I shall stop the conversation. Suffice to say that I have decided to decline if “they” do call me. I got creeped out. And, yet, somehow I think the intention was that I would be flattered.

I kept my cool and ended by saying, “Well, thank you — I guess. Sort of, I suppose” …and headed toward the door as the boy/girl called out “Good luck, honey!”

But, just before I was out the door the boss commented, “Just think — you could make a lot more money for a lot less work”

um, gross.

So, kids the job search continues!

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June 1, 2005. Uncategorized.

9 Comments

  1. Jon replied:

    I think working in a porn store sounds much cooler than it actually is. Not nearly as cool as being an actual porn director. Instead, you’d be selling inflatable goats to old men with stained trousers. ewwwww

  2. thomas replied:

    inflatable goats? OMG! i am so out of touch.

  3. adrock2xander replied:

    Matty me thinks the bleakness in ya life will taper out soon…you’ll find a wonderful boyfriend and a kick ass job that brings you heaps of cash into ya coffers…

    Now just keep that chin up and those fingers crossed…i mean…if the dumb as a prick Paris Hilton could do it…anyone can 🙂

  4. Anonymous replied:

    All I said, was, you’d make more money sucking off guys in the video booths……
    Or letting guys fuck you……..

  5. Anonymous replied:

    And I am a chicken shit asshole so can I take that job? Can you get me an application?

  6. Ang replied:

    What would you choose as a stage name? Matt Stiffler Stanfield or Fatty does San Fran… I can HARDly wait to see you in action…

  7. Ang replied:

    Geesh that was rude an ignorant of me. I’m sorry, I’m such a putz!

  8. Miss Marisol replied:

    Brilliant move omitting the details of whatever androgyny person suggested for sidework.

    Perhaps it was some weird psychological test to see how you would react.

  9. Karyn replied:

    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT! You know my provincial little brain, however warped and twisted, will never be able to imagine anything that would shock YOU. *snicker* Now come on, stop teasing – what’d he say?!–>

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