Walking downtown — nature called. Now, when nature calls pour moi that means I have approx. 5 minutes to find a can! So, being the resourceful man that I am, I ran/walked to the nearest hotel. This happened to be a rather elite hotel. And, being me, I could not locate the restrooms easily — as panic began to set in and I scurried about the lobby looking for signage leading me to plumbed salvation — I was stopped by a classy, but severe hotel worker.

“May we help you, sir?

“Oh, yes! I am waiting for one of your guests, but am in need to using a restroom. Can you direct me?”

“Well, our restrooms are reserved for our guests and their guests”

“Uh, huh — I am a friend of one of your guests and he will back in the hotel diner bussing tables if you give me anymore attitude. Now, get over yourself and point me to the restrooms, please!”

…it worked!

“I apologize, the restrooms are located behind the elevator banks. May I have the name of our guest to alert that you have arrived and are waiting?”

…running/walking toward the back of the elevator banks — as the perfectly pressed woman was trying to keep up with me.

“No need. I just spoke with him on my cell. He will be down in a few. He is on an important business call.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I will just give him a quick ring. What is his name?”

The Men’s Room!!!!! Yes!!!!

“Mr. Yoshi”

About 20 minutes later after losing half of my body weight in the posh restroom. …well, not quite — but wouldn’t that be cool!???!

“Sir? There does not appear to be a Mr. Yoshi staying with us. In fact, we are unfamiliar with Mr. Yoshi’s name.”


“Hmmmm… Isn’t this the Four Seasons?”

You could cut the tension with a butter knife…

“Sir! This is NOT the Four Seasons!”

“Oh NO!!!! I have to run! Mr. Yoshi is going to be soooo pissed at me!!! I knew this place didn’t look upscale enough! Bye!”

Running out the door as the door man holds it open smiling blandly, I can feel the Insulted Hotel Lady steaming in the lobby! As they say — “shit happens”

April 29, 2005. Uncategorized.


  1. doug replied:

    Ha Ha Ha! Matt you have been in rare form this week…glad to see that humor has become a part of your posts again…that story is a classic.

  2. thomas replied:

    yoshi??? how classic. too wonderful. only you could make a restroom visit so exciting 🙂

  3. Jon replied:

    Mr. Yoshi, lol. You should have found a Starbucks. They exist only so people can use their restrooms!

  4. Anonymous replied:

    LOL, LOL, LOL ….you had me in stiches, Matt ! Of course I can emphasize with your dilemma. *grin*

    Nothing worse when nature calls at the unexpected time ! But I have never heard it in such a funny and exciting way explained!

    More to come ?????????


  5. Robert replied:

    You’re so clever Matt! Are you ALWAYS this witty and spontaneous? I love it!

  6. Karyn replied:


    That is AWESOME! You are my hero. I love it. Yoshi! *snicker*

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