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WHERE IS MISTER YOSHI?

Walking downtown — nature called. Now, when nature calls pour moi that means I have approx. 5 minutes to find a can! So, being the resourceful man that I am, I ran/walked to the nearest hotel. This happened to be a rather elite hotel. And, being me, I could not locate the restrooms easily — as panic began to set in and I scurried about the lobby looking for signage leading me to plumbed salvation — I was stopped by a classy, but severe hotel worker.

“May we help you, sir?

“Oh, yes! I am waiting for one of your guests, but am in need to using a restroom. Can you direct me?”

“Well, our restrooms are reserved for our guests and their guests”

“Uh, huh — I am a friend of one of your guests and he will back in the hotel diner bussing tables if you give me anymore attitude. Now, get over yourself and point me to the restrooms, please!”

…it worked!

“I apologize, the restrooms are located behind the elevator banks. May I have the name of our guest to alert that you have arrived and are waiting?”

…running/walking toward the back of the elevator banks — as the perfectly pressed woman was trying to keep up with me.

“No need. I just spoke with him on my cell. He will be down in a few. He is on an important business call.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I will just give him a quick ring. What is his name?”

The Men’s Room!!!!! Yes!!!!

“Mr. Yoshi”

About 20 minutes later after losing half of my body weight in the posh restroom. …well, not quite — but wouldn’t that be cool!???!

“Sir? There does not appear to be a Mr. Yoshi staying with us. In fact, we are unfamiliar with Mr. Yoshi’s name.”

Shit.

“Hmmmm… Isn’t this the Four Seasons?”

You could cut the tension with a butter knife…

“Sir! This is NOT the Four Seasons!”

“Oh NO!!!! I have to run! Mr. Yoshi is going to be soooo pissed at me!!! I knew this place didn’t look upscale enough! Bye!”

Running out the door as the door man holds it open smiling blandly, I can feel the Insulted Hotel Lady steaming in the lobby! As they say — “shit happens”

April 29, 2005. Uncategorized. 6 comments.

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BEING RETARDED IS HARD ENOUGH…

…It just seems cruel to have yet another actor “play” mentally-challenged. Even worse, to have that actor pretend to be retarded in a made for cable TV movie. And, it is really scraping the very bottom of the Bucket-O-Bad-Taste when that actor is Rossie O’Donnell and Andie MacDowell has been cast as her older sister. I am sorry, but no gene pool is that fucked up.

If you ask me there are certain things that all actors should avoid:

1. Acting with children or animals
2. Taking part in any scene involving lip-syncing to old 45’s with a hair brush
3. Breaking the “Third Wall” in a film unless you are Woody Allen
4. Remaking and raping an original and profoundly twisted film like “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory”
5. Playing retarded

It never pays off and actors just never seem to get it. Who of us over 35 can forget Linda Purl and Shaun Cassidy playing a retarded couple who want to marry and have children — or, if you have a really strong memory for horrific pop culture — Julie “Rhoda’s Sister Brenda/Voice of Marge Simpson” Kavner and John Boy Walton who played a retarded couple who wanted to marry and have children a few years before Linda and Shaun adapted odd gutteral noises and slanted facial expressions while wearing bad clothing and mismatched shoes! And let us not forget the big screen turn of Sean Penn. …a retarded man fighting to keep his daughter (played by that demon seeded child star, Dakota Something or Other) or Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump — and, yes, Forrest was retarded and we all paid money to see it for some reason.

And, now — Hallmark is bringing Rosie to us as a retarded girl who somehow must find a way to “bond” with her fab sister, Andie — and I guess they have to ride a bus or something because it is refers to bus riding with a sister in the title.

Let’s face it — the only actors who can play retarded without insulting our mentally-challenged citizens are Juliette Lewis and Meg Ryan.

Now, I know a few of you are thinking, “When did Meg Ryan play retarded?” …well, go back and take a look at one of her movies — any of her movies. As you watch — keep in mind that Meg is trying to channel her inner-retardedness as she acts her little heart out. I don’t think Meg has ever not played retarded. Well, unless we discount that movie she made last year where she was all depressed and took her clothing off while Jennifer Jason Leigh walked around looking confused til some other character iced her. This was meant to be Meg’s “break out” role where she could prove to us that she is not retarded. …It didn’t work.

Oh, Rosie. Why?

April 27, 2005. Uncategorized. 10 comments.

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SAYING GOODBYE

I hate it when I have to really say “goodbye” to someone who I know I will not be seeing in a while. I hate it so much that I go out of my way to avoid it. However, there are some people in your life that to whom you have to say goodbye when times like that come up.

I said goodbye to the person who has been the center of my universe this morning. It felt like my “heart” was being broken in ways I didn’t know it could break. Tried to keep it clean and easy — and quick. But, saying goodbye has never been so hard. So, here I sit trying to pull my shit together.

It is cloudy and raining right now. Fitting for the way I feel. Love never stops — it just changes forms. However, the pain of formally walking away from people whom you love and with whom you’ve shared so many key moments of your life is a real son-of-a-bitch. You feel as if you’re trapped in some 70’s torch ballad from Hell. And suddenly you wish you could take to heart the lyrics to that emotionally crippled song that Melissa Manchester used to sing. …don’t cry out loud. …but sometimes you can’t help it and you can’t push it all down inside or you will explode.

Well, I figure the day can only go uphill from here! LOL!

April 23, 2005. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

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STRANGE MONTH

This has been a very stressful and odd month — not really a bad one, but srange. I haven’t had a time to do much posting and am way behind on checking my favorite blogs! I will catch up soon!

A lot of friends have emailed me wanting to know what was up with the postings I had to pull down and had my open post from a few days ago. Just to clarrify — I love people leaving their opinions and ideas on my blog! I really do! And, I enjoy it when people see things in a different light than me — very often those views can impact the way I see things. However, a certain reader had suddenly decided to post comments that related to nothing in my blog other than to say that I was a “stupid faggot” or other idiotic comments of the same. So, yes — I do want people to post comments, but not cruel and without point.

And, I really appreciate all the cool emails I have gotten — especially from those of you who saw the postings before I took them down. Made me feel good!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! And, I’m sorry my posting is so dull! Will be back to normal soon!

matt

April 22, 2005. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

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MESSAGE TO ANONYMOUS

This post if for the individual who has been posting homophobic, cruel and odd comments to my blog. Please stop — or, at the very least, have the balls to share your name and email with the other readers of this blog.

Are you worried that others will finally see your true colors? Wake up call: They already do so just be honest.

At any rate. If you do not like me as a person — please stop wasting your energy reading/posting comments to this blog. If you simply do not agree with what I write — then be an adult and stop with the hate-inspired and silly rhetoric. Just state your opinion in an intelligent way. No need for name-calling. You might even change some minds, but I am asking that you either stop this childish behavior regarding posting comments or be honest about who you are and post something that makes sense and is of some remote intelligence.

thanks,
matt

April 20, 2005. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

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POSSIBLY MAYBE

Hey Kids, just wanted to let you all know that I am likely to be off line more than ususual for the next week or two. However, I will be checking in as often as I can. And, I will be checking my email!

Talk to ya soon!

kisses,
matt

April 19, 2005. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

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STRESS MANAGEMENT

Ever just have “one of those days” ? …Of course you have! We all have. Well, today was one of those days for me. And, tomorrow promises much of the same! Fun! I am so behind on my email and returning phone calls it isn’t even funny. Still, today was Monday — and I am about to head to bed! Tomorrow starts bright and early and I am going to grab Tuesday by the balls — and own it!

April 18, 2005. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

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THE SEXIEST SONGS, IF YOU ASK ME

I was thinking about the music that helps us get our respective grooves on and started listing out the songs which I feel are the most sexy out there. Here is my list, in no particular order:

“Crash” by the Dave Matthews Band. Very straight, but I find the lyrics and the soft sound of his voice so very erotic. And, I relate to the idea of sex as being a way to fully understand the world of another. A deep connection.

“Justify My Love” by Madonna — this song just sounds and even feels like really hot sex to me.

Any song sung by Jean-Luis Murat. Better than Barry White in terms of sounding so very sexy/erotic. And because I do not speak French I am left to simply imagine what he is singing!

“Kelly Watch The Stars” by AIR. Actually, I find much of AIR’s music to be quite seductive.

“Hot Trip to Heaven” by Love & Rockets — very sexy.

“Coming Down” by Daniel Ash

“Lost Inside of You” by Babs and Kris Kristoferson — pure sexy belly-rubbin’ music, baby!

“Strange Fruit” performed by Billie Holiiday. I just find this song and performance to be very erotic

“Love to Love You, Baby” by Donna Summer —- a 17 minute orgasm. How can that be beat?

“Get Me Off” by Basement Jaxx. Hot. Sweaty. Raw.

And, then the “after glow” music:

“Honey, Can I Wear Your Clothes” by Barbra Streisand. Very erotically charged romantic song. And, of course you know Babs is going to make my list at least twice. No seriously, if you’ve never heard this song — very eroitc.

Stan Getz or Chet Baker playing something soft and dreamy.

The sound of Damien Rice or Arthur H’s voices singing anything.

Feel free to post the songs you feel are the sexiest out there. And, no, I have never found Prince’s music to be erotic — I like it, but it always feels tounge in cheek to me.

April 16, 2005. Uncategorized. 6 comments.

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THE BIG FUCK YOU FROM THE US PRESIDENT AND OUR “GOVERNMENT”

OK. You had to enroll in the armed forces so you would have a chance to go to college. Now, you’ve been pulled over to Iraq to fight “something” that our “fearless” leaders call a “war” — meanwhile, your wife gives birth to you first child. You are not there for the birth. Medical problems are encountered for both your wife and your newly born son. Thank God, they both pull through and are OK.

However, your wife is unable to work and the baby requires a great deal of medical treatment. Insurance covers some, but not enough. Your wife uses that American Express Card you received to cover some of the bills to ensure that your son gets the best treatment possible — that treatment is already not so good because your wive has to use the lower income hospital where the HMO makes all the rules.

Before long, you and your wife are spiraling into debt and your income for fighting Mr. President’s “war” is not making ends meet. If only you could get home — maybe you could get a job that would pay enough to get your family out of debt. But, you are stuck. Stuck until a bullet pierces your skull. Thank God, you survive. You are returned home and you begin the slow process of being approved for perm. disabilty. Your wive has developed hives from worry and you are becoming fat as the cheap food in the fridge seems to be all that can give you comfort. The medical bills stack up and the AmEx card dried up long ago. Neither of you answer the phone for fear of having to be treated like shit by some underpaid collection agent from AmEx.

Finally, your uncle convinces you to swallow your pride and file for bankruptcy. As he explains it — this is the only way you will ever get your family out of debt and your only hope to start clean so that, maybe, you will be able to get your son into college one day — if the HMO system puts enough effort into getting his health on track.

You find out that another of your buddies just came back from Iraq in a rubber bag. This only adds to the constant pain you’re having to learn to deal with as the HMO feels you do not qualify for a special surgery available in Canada.

You recieve a formal notice that American Express is going to sue you. You contact a Bankruptcy Attorney. And, then you are told that your President — the one you voted for because the Democrat seemed too “educated” to “get” you — helped push a new law which ends the ability to file for bankruptcy. You and your wife will be paying $100 a month for the next 15 years to pay off the debt that was incurred while you were “protecting” the country you love.

Your President, Congress, Big Corporate Banks/Credit Cards and the Super Wealthy have just told you to fuck off. You are worthless and do not deserve a chance to rebuild your life so that your son might have a chance to escape the hell in which he is being raised.

The thought occurs to you that you are not even at the poverty level. You are middle class.

And you wonder, is this how it starts? The gradual errosion of human rights. The gradual take over by the coproate machine which keeps folks like your “President” wealthy. …Will your son even have the opportunity to fight a useless greedy war so that he can get an education —- or, by the time he is 17 — will you and your family become slaves working in camps designed to keep the machine running while the wealthy go on about their businesses?

How long will we all just sit and watch our country continue to bully other countries and de-humanize anyone who makes less than $150K a year? How long will we continue to allow our government to define what is “appropriate” love? How long will we allow our rights to be taken away so that Bank of America and Sony can make more money? How much longer will we let our farmers, nurses and teachers be underpaid and overworked? How much longer we will continue to all agree to sit in the back of the bus because we do not opt to live the life a few assholes have decided is the only “acceptable” way? How long will people pretend that folks like C. Rice is not really scoring points for the rights of women or the advancement of People of Color? How long before we realize that she is little more than a sad Uncle Tom parody used to fool the masses? How long before the inner-city gangs wise up and turn the guns away from each other and aim them at “us”? How long before we stop worrying about other countries and focus on the fact that we have people in our country who barely get enough food to eat? How long before we realize that our failure to put more importance on education is destroying out future? How long before we do something about the fact that the evil men behind the Enron scandal are still walking about free while the 18 year old kid who held up a convenience store with a toy gun is sitting in prison till he hits his 58th birthday? How many more of our kids are going to die “protecting” democracy when we really know that they are there to keep us close to oil? How much longer are we going to let people like George Bush ruin our country?

How much longer are we all going to be stupid? …or, is it already too late?

April 14, 2005. Uncategorized. 8 comments.

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MISSING

Today should be a great day! The weather is nice and it is not too cold or too hot! And, tonight I have an invitation to join a very different friend and her family for dinner! I am all excited because I have silly little gifts for the kids — who, by the way, are the cutest kids on the planet! My only concern is I have to meet my friend at a bus stop in an area of town which I’ve not been in well over 2 years. …and we all know I’ve no sense of direction!

Anway, I was walked over to Cambridge to enjoy the sunlight and breeze. Picked up a “Flu Fighter” smoothie because I am all about fighting the flu with thick shakes! I had my Walkman on and was wallking to the sounds of Kate Bush and that hill she is always running up when I an unusual posting on a telephone pole caught my eye. At first glance, I thought it was one of those missing signs for a pet. Those signs always bum me out, but I feel compelled to read them just in case I might come across someone’s precious little dog or cat and get them back to their homes.

Well, it was a missing notice someone had made up and printed out at a copy shop — but it was of a young man. The picture on the sign was of a handsome young kid in scrubs — looked as if he might be a med student or resident. The piece of paper taped to the pole read that he was last seen on April 5th at one of the Boston subway stops. Information was provided about how to contact his family and close friend in the event that somone knows where he might be or if someone has seen him. He is a little guy — 5 foot 4 inches and weighs in at 130 pounds. I don’t know. It was one of those sad moments when you get a sinking feeling. Something is very wrong and you worry that whatever is going to be discovered or learned will not be good. I felt for his friends and family.

How very horrible it would be for a friend or loved one to just vanish. And, how very sad to imagine being in a situation where you have to make a sign and post it around town in hopes that someone will have seen or might find him. I found myself wishing I was looking at a missing cat or dog sign — and, not a missing person.

Maybe he just got fed up and ran away to a different place and has started calling himself by a different name. Maybe he went missing on purpose. Maybe he is OK.

Oh, by the way I listened to a Merideth Monk CD at Borders and it was beautiful — piano music. A bit on the sparse/modern side not to far north of P. Glass — but she brings more “heart” and melody to her work. Or at least that was the case with the CD I was able to play at the Listening Station. The recording was from 1981 and was called “Dolmen Music”
..find it odd that she has been around so long and I’ve been unaware of her. Most def. worth a listen!

April 14, 2005. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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