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CRAZY PENIS

Ok, so I know that their name is a bit off-putting, but Crazy Penis is a great recording duo! At least I think “they” are two people — DJ People, to be exact. Anyway, if you’ve not been charmed by Crazy Penis I suggested that each of you check it out. There are 2 CD’s out there (there were 3, but one has been out of print for a while) — Anyway, “Wicked Is The Music” is the best of the two in the man’s opinion. Any funky chill-out CD that opens with samples from Willy Wonka deserves a bit of attention. Great collective groove!

My new pal, Milford, is turning me on to Hawiian music! I just listened to about 4 tracks and I really like it. For some reason the sound makes me think a bit of the music I’ve heard from Peru — minus the pan flutes. I believe the band I liked the most on these 4 tracks is called Hapa. Also reminded me a bit of some of the music that Emmylou Harris and Daniel Lanois have created in the past.

It is always cool to “discover” new music and sounds.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

kisses,
matt

March 31, 2005. Uncategorized. 3 comments.

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MAN CLOGS

I know that they were only “in-style” for about a minute in the late 90’s, but my man clogs are so very comfortable. I mean, all of those nurses, doctors and medical technicians must be on to something, right?

Still, this afternoon, as I was standing in a croweded elevator I noticed all of these “smart” and “snap-sassy” shoes from Kenneth Kole, Phat Pharm and Diesel. Everyone’s feet looked so fine.

…and, then, there were mine.

Dressed in my Lucky jeans, Puma hoodie — and Dansko clogs.

I felt out of place and in need of a make-over.

March 31, 2005. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

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FLAUNTING SAND

I subscribe to a number of magazines — some of which are fairly silly, but I enjoy the pretty pictures and strange advertisements. I am continually puzzled by some of the marketing I see. Now, this would be an area upon which The Grande Fash Mag Slag could further enlighten us as he works in the field and manages to stay well ahead of what the consumers want to see.

One of my favorite and silliest magazines is FLAUNT. While it wants to present itself as a hip/on-the-edge-of-all-things-cool look at fashion and art — it is really a collection of beautiful and curious photos stashed between ads for high end fashion. It always arrives in a clear plastic bag! I love it.

Over the course of the past year or so they have started to convince celebs to pose for the covers. This month we have Penelope Cruz posed nude (naughty bits hidden) on a mound of sand. Now, those folks at Flaunt are clever little bees! Someone thought it would be way cool to dump sand into the clear plastic bag with the magazine.

This is the most annoying thing I have ever received in the mail. I can see that the sand was meant to be separated from the magazine in a separate little bag — but the fashion victims at FLAUNT forgot that their magazines are delievered by the USPS —- my little bag-o-sand was ripped open and my magazine — and, my kitchen have sand all over the place! Ugh!

…summer is coming. I get it. why give me sand?

March 28, 2005. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

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ART ON LINE

My brother’s gallery showing went exceptionally well! I just wish I had been able to be there to attend! Anyway, I have some photos from the show and I’ve created an online album for them. Just scroll to down the left side of the screen click into my online photo albums link!

March 28, 2005. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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SYMPATHY FOR NURSE RATCHED

I don’t know. Maybe it is the cold or the fact that I still do not have my voice back, but I just watched ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST for the first time in at least 15 years or so. And, I had a whole different take on it. People! Nurse Ratched was just doing her job! I mean, this bum wanders in trying to fake mental illness so he can skip out of prison labor and he sets about turning the whole ward upside down with the mixing of whiskey with meds and running away to fish. OK, granted Mildred Ratched’s attempts at group therapy may be a bit misguided, but what would you do if you were having to deal with the English teacher from CARRIE and Danny DeVitto?!?!? The poor thing is just getting by!

You know, I am only half joking. I can remember being like, “Way to go, dude!” when Nicholson tries to strangle Louise Fletcher (AKA Nurse Ratched) — but this time, I was like — “This guy is nuts!”

Of course, I guess one would need to point the finger of blame toward Nurse Ratched for the suicide of Brad Douriff — but if Mac hadn’t snuck the slut and whiskey into the ward none of it would have happened.

On top of that, poor Louise Fletcher. Despite an OSCAR win for her work as the wrongly hated Nurse Ratched — she has been stuck with that “Poor Man’s Ellen Burstyn” ever since. Of course she didn’t help herself much when she agreed to step into the “mother figure role” in EXORCIST II because Burstyn could smell the stench from Broadway. Much like the Rolling Stone’s song about The Devil, I feel that Nurse Ratched is a misunderstood figure. I mean, come on — we all know it was you and me!

Oh, dear. Time for some more cold medicine, tea and sleep.

March 26, 2005. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

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SICK AND TIRED

I woke up this morning to a fever, sore throat and no voice. In other words, I have a cold. I hate colds. And, I hate not being able to speak even more!

Well, back to the sofa, orange juice and tea pour moi! UGH!

March 25, 2005. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

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DIESEL VICTIM

Good news! I am finally starting to drop the weight I’ve gained over the course of the past 6 months! Now, please do not read more into this than one should. Tho, according to that weight/height standard chart thing the doctors post in their offices, I’ve got 40 pounds to go before I am at my “ideal” weight. I am just over 5 foot 8 inches —- so I believe that means I should weigh in at 150lbs. At my age, I just feel that this would be too thin — besides I enjoy food too much to even dream of going back to that weight and while I am certainly interested in improving my excercise lifestyle —- I am not so interested that I want to devote my life to losing and maintaining that sort of weight. Life is too short. Anyway, I feel that I look best at about 175 to 180 — so, I am establishing a target weight of 170. As I weighed in at 197 last week — this means I need to drop 30lbs. Am now working out a bit and am slowly cutting out all sugar —- and in just a few days I can now fit back into my “designer” jeans! Yay! AND — I am now able to wear this sweater thing I purchased from the Diesel online store.

About 2 weeks ago, Amazon.Com sent me an email telling me how much they miss me and supplied me with 2 nice little certificates. One for clothing and the other for music/movies/books. I felt a bit of adventure creeping into my consumer spirit — and, yes, I will admit it. The recent marketing angles taken by the folks at Diesel have appealed to me. So, I visited the Diesel store with my Amazon.Com gift certificate. I saw a model who looked just a bit old enough to vote in a cool sweater. I thought to myself, “Why not?!!” —– I ordered it. It took my whole certificate plus $10.00 out of pocket. Am not going to post how much — but let us just say that my new Diesel sweater is not cheap. Any of you kids who shop Diesel are probably all too aware of the cost of all things Diesel — but, hey — these things are really cool.

Well, the sweater arrived about a week ago. It didn’t fit. Well, OK — I could put it on. However, I looked like Billy Crystal in RABBIT TEST. …meaning, I looked like I was “with child”

So, imagine my surprise when I noticed that I could wear my fave designer jeans again this morning — AND the Diesel sweater — while not wonderously flattering, did not make me look deformed or anything! Now, after I put it on and walked about a bit I noticed that I could feel “drafts” all about my upper person. Those designing charmers at Diesel decided to go all Flashdance on my ass! …only with more of a “let’s go a bit retro and let’s also make it look like this customer is so piss poor that his sweater has holes in it! Yes, my new sweater is threadbare and holed. It is far too late to return it as I discarded the box and packing slip when it arrived — and, for some reason, I kind of like it and think I might look good in it about 10 more pounds from now.

I wore it all day today and only one person made fun of me. …thank you, Karl. LOL!

Ah, it isn’t easy being a fashion victim in clothes that are technically too small for my person — but since AbFab went off the air one of us needs to do it! Speaking of which — Edina and Patsy are gearing up for another series on BBC!!!! I never tire of those characters! I even liked Series 4!

kisses,
matt

March 24, 2005. Uncategorized. 3 comments.

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SHOUT OUT TO THE KIDS, ART, CHANGES AND SELLING THINGS ON EBAY SOON!!!!

Well, it has been quite a while since I posted anything. Sorry for the absence. I hope this posting is not too flat and dull! A lot has been going on. Some of the things happening have been quite good — other things have been quite difficult and challenging. However, I force my way forward with a smile! I like change and challenges — so I am up for it!

I’ve posted a new online photo album! If interested, just scroll down and look for the link on the far left of this page. Go to Matt’s OnLine Photos and go to the Album called “Matt’s March 2005 Photo Album” —- and take a look/see.

What you will see:

Me and my mom. She just left this morning to return to Texas. We had a nice visit. It had been so long since I had seen her! I didn’t know she had dyed her hair blonde! We did not make it to Roy’s gallery showing. However, I am eagerly awaiting an update from Roy — and I hope to be able to link to some pix from it!

I’ve aquired some interesting new LP Cover Art! Cheap and I had no choice — they simply demanded to be bought and framed! You will note LP Art from Patti Smith, Marianne Faithfull (still trying the sexy/innocent thing with little succcess, but a great picture all the same!), Joni Mitchell’s elegant drawing of herself with a dash of suburban nature and that beautifully tragic LP by Billie Holiday — Lady in Satin. OH! And, I believe I posted about my recent discovery of a new chanteuse, Ms. Marlena Shaw. At least I think I wrote something about her. Remember, the performer who was big in Japan?!??!

Anyway, Marlena isn’t all that new — just new to me. How to explain Marlena? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?!?!? Yes, just like that nun of yore, one just can’t pin Marlena Shaw down! She started singing in the early 60’s, but with limited success — In fact, Marlena never quite made the Big Room. Anyway, she has made some kick ass recordings — one of which was released in 1975 on the Blue Note record label entitiled “Who Is This Bitch, Anyway?” with a gorgeous and defiant photo of Ms. Shaw on the cover. It is, in my opinion, one of the most effective LP covers I’ve ever seen. Anyway, it is not framed and hanging proudly on my wall! You can see it in my online photo album!

Oh, and I am in process of cleaning things out! Starting fresh! So, I am about to do something I never thought I would do — I am going to try and sell some stuff on Ebay. Let’s hope it is not too much of a pain. I think the two most valuable items I am selling are a hardcover 2nd edition print of Joan “Mommie Dearest” Crawford’s book of glamour thoughts, “My Way of Life!” — Now, this was a camp classic when it first hit the book stands. The fact that it is the second edition/printing is not that tragic in terms of value as the book in any form is impossible to find and will be adored by any camp fan! Filled with loving photos of Joan sewing, cleaning her floors, modeling her clothes, lecturing her maid, posing with pigs as the ambassador of Pepsi and making VERY little mention of that damn pain in the ass, Christina! LOL! I think that there will be a buyer for this classic volume out there somewhere! I am going to start the bidding process at $80.00 plus $5.00 shipping/handling.

The other book of value is the limited 1997 Hong Kong reprint of Candy Darling’s journal thoughts/ramblings. The coolest thing about this rare book is that it was published to look like a teen girl’s pink vinyl journal complete with locking mechanism and a pair of keys!!!! I’ve no idea as to how much to ask for this one. I guess I will start bidding at $75.00 and see what happens. Like Joan’s 1960’s publication wonder, this one is also impossible to find anymore.

And, then there is a great deal of misc. art and art books!

If anyone is reading my posting and takes an interest in one of these items I am selling and would be interested in buying — just let me know. Make an offer!

OH! And, most important of all the pix posted to my online album! Mr. Homoesque, Thomas, himself presented me with a gift that I will always treasure. Not just because it is a fantastic watercolor — but because he gave it to me. Made me feel special and I was touched. We all knew Mr. H. could write a lively prose — but who knew he was a kick-ass artist as well?!?!?
And, no — don’t even bother! This work of art will stay with me for all time! It will never be for sale!

OK — that is all for now, kids! Hope everyone is doing well! Hope to catch up on my fave blogs soon!

kisses and love,
matt

March 23, 2005. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM MATTYVILLE

The doctor felt that I needed some medicinal assistance with sleeping. However, after I lying in bed for over an hour I decided to write a post! And, as you’re reading this — I really want to bring you ideas and concepts of interest. …to put thoughts into my post that will both entertain and enlighten you.

well, that isn’t going to happen. so, instead I shall list out a few things that have been tossing about my brain.

1. I really felt homesick for Karl today. French & Saunders have released 2 new DVD’s of their BBC specials. We used to have such fun watching those. And, tonight as I watched a skit in which Jennifer Saunders attempted to explain to Dawn French why she had been invited to appear on the reality show “Celebrity Fit Farm” I was wishing that Karl was around to laugh. ..Or watching Dawn French play Rene Z to Jennefer Saunder’s Nicole K in their spoof of COLD MOUNTAIN — now entitiled COLD TURKEY. Just watching a confused Ms. Kidman and squinty eye’d Rene trying to get their respective accents right by repeating “How Are You?” in various depths of voice was just so fucking funny! As they began a spoof of TROY — I had to stop watching becaue my sides hurt. It would have been fun to watch with Karl.

2. A few weeks ago I plugged in my video copy of Babs in A STAR IS BORN — shut up, it is my favorite Barbra movie and I will not tolerate attitude! LOL! Anyway, the video and the built in VCR broke. The video is no longer in print and Babs has yet to “sign off” her approval for the DVD release. I was so upset as this movie is celluloid soul food for me. Anyway, my very sweet friend, George, actually managed to find ASIB on DVD for me!!!!! …not an easy task and not one I am comfortable providing much detail about! Just suffice to say — that Barbra’s afro has not looked this good in decades!!

3. I am really enjoying the new book by Tori Amos and post-femminist Ann Powers, PIECE BY PIECE. If anyone out there decides to pick it up to read be prepared for a great deal of discussion around the works of Jung and the various theories around myth, archtypes and the urgent importance of wearing cool shoes at all times. It is all quite interesting, but not the normal sort of work one expects from a “auto biograhpy” …it is really a more a collection of thoughts that tie in with the career and work of a musical/lyrical artiste infused with the commentary and challenges of a curious journalist. I don’t know, I think one has to respect a woman like Tori Amos, who, within the span of a 3 sentences discusses her frustration at not being able to garden properly, the deadly curse of the egomaniac taking over an artist’s work and the advice she received from the Great Dark One, Lucifer, regarding her level of self-doubt. It is all quite surreal — but not all at once.

4. I continue to find myself being shocked at the cruelty of others. And, I do not mean the cruelties employed by world leaders — but people with whom I have had interpersonal relationships for years. Whatever happened to loyalty, friendship and love. I am also seeing the same thing happen to other people I care for — and I hate that it makes me sad vs. angry.

5. I am in process of consolidating all of my many DVD’s/CD’s into a way cool new system designed by a company in California. It is modeled after medical files. It also eliminates the need for DVD keep cases and CD jewel boxes. At first it bothered me, but now as I see all of these items taking up not even a fraction of the room that they once required — I am in love with the DiscSox system. If one of you has too many DVD’s/CD’s like moi — this is a God-Send of a solution.

6. Ok, I want to see “Be Cool” …I don’t think this makes me a bad person!

7. I found a place out of state that can take LP’s which are not avaialable on CD and put them on to CD — and by use of special software can “clean up” the sound quality to make the recording sound every bit as good as any remastered/reissued CD of an analog recording. It is amazing. …and, it is legal because they sell you the LP — with a copy made to CD. The CD comes unadorned — so, this business is just providing a service to move an out-moded format to a new one so that the art can be appreciated. …and only one copy per LP. Most cool. If someone wants to know more, drop me a line.

8. My mother is coming for a visit this week. Say a little prayer for us both.

9. I think I am in love with Joe Dallesandro. It can’t be helped.

10. If Sandy Dennis were still alive, I wonder if she would be doing a one-woman shoe off Broadway? I like to think that she would. It would have been painfully neurotic, odd and quite funny. Speaking of Sandy Dennis — the Gen X version of Ms. Dennis, Juilette Lewis, will be releasing her first full CD by her “super group” Juliette & The Licks — next month. No matter what you might be thiking — she and her band are really good. I mean, you would have to have an appreciation for the 70’s punk sound of Patti Smith Group or the early 90’s sound of PJ Harvey — but if those sounds appeal to you — Ms. Lewis’ band will blow your mind. They have a website that will let you listen to 3 of their songs and there is an EP out there — but it is VERY hard to find anymore. I think that they might really break out!

11. I have been emailing with the sweetest, cutest and funny guy in California — he sent me a CD Rom slide show which presents his personality and personal style in pictures. I love this slide show! Milford — if you’re out there, you rock!

Well, I guess I shall go lay down and stare up at the ceiling for several hours.

And, please — kiss them all for me!
matt

March 14, 2005. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

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THE FEAR OF CLOWNS

…is real, grounded in reality and should be trusted at all times. If you are a professional clown of the circus, rodeo or children birthday party circuit — I apologize for offending you. However, I feel it is important that each and every one of you who sports giant flopply shoes, a detatchable red nose and painted on smiles or frowns is, at the core, evil. As Linda Rondstadt so wisely crooned — YOU, my clown friends, are just no good. However, I guess Linda probably wasnt’ thinking of clowns in the literal sense when she sang that song. …but I like to think that she was and as this is my blog I can make the assumption that she was singing to those evil extension of mimes across the globe.

Writing of Linda Rondstadt makes me think about how very harsh and cruel time can be. Linda used to be so very hot — both physically and professionally. I can remember when Rolling Stone declared her the Barbra Steisand of country/rock. …and then she decided to continue to push that creative envelope. Linda started paying attention to the charts of the early 80’s and decided that she liked what she heard! She grooved to the geeked-up sounds of Elvis Costello, Debbie Harry and Missing Persons. Suddenly, it just wasn’t enough to take low budget fare written by the likes of Warren Zevon, JD Souther, Buddy Holly and the Mick man himself. I mean, I am sorry, but The Rolling Stones do not bring TUMBLING DICE to life the way Miss Rondstadt did in 1977. The lady rocked our world and did it with a sort of slutty/distant grace seldom witnessed in the music biz. …but then New Wave grabbed our country/rock ice princess by the heart strings. Failing to see the dangerous line between disco and new wave — Linda cut her hair and had it spiked. She started wearing ripped t-shirts with black bras and wore satin short-shorts with old school rollerskates. …and the world laughed. No longer would we be able to buy the concept of Miss Rondstadt singing of Blue Bayous, woebegottten dice, silk purses, down and out herioine addicts or other low end matters of the heart in quite the same way. No, she sold out without even meaning to do so. Linda just wanted to explore a new and intersting world of cool — only to discover that she just wansn’t cool enough! Even Mick Rock declined to take her photo for her first New Wave LP. …And Mr. Costello, in a rare bit of cruelness, dismissed her cover of his songs as insulting. Debbie Harry, ever cool, rolled her eyes at Linda’s attempts to copy the original blonde one’s phrasing which came out more like a whine than a sneer. Yes, Linda was rejected by the alternative set. …and she burned her bridges with most of her country fans.

So, with heavey heart — Linda decided to do a Rosemary Clooney thing — and she went easy listening jazz standards on our collective ass. …and it worked for a little while. But then Streisand stole her thunder by deciding to go back to her roots which were the very songs that our Linda was just beginning to wrap her vocals around. Well, a B’way and easy listening standard will not ever be performed any better than Babs — and with THE BROADWAY ALBUM hitting the charts of the mid 80’s — Linda’s earnest and interesting take on such songs lost their power. Sure, she scored a couple of Disney hits — but who hasn’t reaped the musical benefit of some lame Disney cartoon within the last 20 years? And, yes — Linda explored her ethnic roots in the late 80’s/early 90’s — but not many seemed to care. And, we can’t forget some of the great vocal work she has done with Dolly and Emmylou — but Dolly, tho only as big as Linda’s left leg, just seems to push Linda out of the recording booth — and, tho we all know Emmy would never mean it — her voice is the closest thing to water since Karen Carpenter. No, Linda just can’t compete there — she can only compliment.

So, now she is fat and singing back-up for Bette Midler. Time has been cruel to Linda — but she pushes on. Someone like the White Stripes or Trent Reznor needs to come to her rescue — let her do a Johnny Cash/Loretta Lynn make over and reclaim her true country rock leanings. Linda Rondstadt we miss you! We all know that there is a Tom Waits cover album just waiting to pour out of your sould — you can do that, Linda. You can bring Tom Waits to the masses — and Mick Rock needs work now as we are in the 21st Century —- he will take your picture. And, hello, it is called the Adkins diet and it works! Kisses!

However, I digressed. I wanted to discuss the evils of clowns. I guess that will be another post. Just remember — never trust a clown in or out of costume/make-up. Take care to avoid clowns at all cost and all levels! And, if a clown should ask you to pull his finger — and you do, remember — you have been warned and will only have yourself to blame.

March 12, 2005. Uncategorized. 7 comments.

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