Well, it is another exciting evening at Matt’s Bit of Space. The weather was such total crap today, I just stayed in and I think I have played on my iBook all day! I did take one brief break this afternoon to watch the newly released DVD by Kathy Griffin called “Allegedly” —- which EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU MUST GO OUT AND BUY!!!!! It is so funny! Sort of like a Margaret Cho stand up movie without any redeeming social value. Had I known about “Allegedly” prior to Christmas there are a number of you who would have received this for your holiday gift vs. the incredible volume of horrific clown paintings collected by Diane Keaton. For those of you who are my age or older — you all have to remember that really scary stage mother of Brooke Shield’s, Terrie Shields — remember? The alcoholic manical woman who put her daughter into show biz and modeling! Anyway, part of Kathy Griffin’s wonderous DVD is spent tellilng us all about Brooke Sheild’s wedding and providing the audiendce with many hysterical impersonations of Brooke’s mother. Trust me, this is a MUST SEE!!!!

Oh, I’ve been meaning to discuss this on my blog. Let’s take a moment and discuss the jazzy new-age team of Tuck & Pattie. The reason they were brought back into my head is because they apparently provided the musical enteratinment at Brooke Shield’s wedding and Amazon.com sent me a suggestion to explore their cataglog based upon a recent purchase of two Mile Davis CD’s. What sort of fucked up dbase logic is this????? Now, I will admit that someone took me to a Tuck & Pattie concert in 1994 when they hit their highest note of popularity. I just didn’t get them. And, am I the only person who thinks that their name sounds like a new tampon product???? Ok, that is off my chest and I feel much better.

So, it turns out that I ordered a vintage posters of THE MAIN EVENT and truly odd Isabelle Adjani/Andrezej Zulawski film venture, POSSESSION for the apartment. I had forgotten about having ordering them. They were shipped from the UK so I guess it took forever for them to reach me. Now, I need to figure out where in the world I can hang them. I’ve no more wall space and I fear the apartment already feels like a cinema lobby. I am not really sure what drove me to order these 2 posters other than some hidden need to re-visti my 12 year on the planet.

Oh, kind of interesting and pathetic — but Isabelle Adjani went nuts playing the lead in POSSESSION and tried to kill herself twice on the set. Accordring to Zulawski who provides commentatry on the DVD which really helps to understand the movie which plays like a family drama gone wrong. If you are not familiar with the film or Zulawski — the best way I can describe the plot would be to say it is a 2 hour study of the political and socio-economic hardships of 1970’s Poland examined thru the troubled relatiionship of husband, his wife (Adjani) and their creepy little boy. Now, back when I was 12 and watched the movie which played in Beaumont, TX for like a day, the movie was only about 90 minutes long, made no sense and scared the shit out of me! And, were it not for Zulwaksi’s commentary I would have never understood that this mess of a movie meant anything. However, the husband and wife scream and cry a lot. The husband leaves the wife and child. The wife is clearly nutty and starts being mean to her little boy — and, you know, you can’t blame her because he is creepy looking and the dubbed voice he was assigned sounds like a midget. Anyway, we soon discover that the little boy’s teacher is his mother in a bad wig and she is having an affair with his father. Then the mother has a seizure of some sort in a tunnel — and what transpires is beyond description — however, suffice to say that, if you’re able to avoid getting sick, you notice that whatever just fell out of the mother is moving — so the mother quickly picks it up and runs to an old apartment where she starts feeding human flesh to that thing that fell out of her. Never quite clear, but the mother lures horny men into the dirty apartment, hits them on the head with a hammer and — well i will spare you what she does to these poor men. But — the thing that came out of her looks like a blood-soaked cucumer with a couple of slimey tentacles. Anwyway, the mother as teacher is really nice to the little boy with the voice of an Ompa Lumpa. For some reason the father decides to pay a visit to the apartment building — I do not think it is ever clear why he even knows about the place — oh, yeah it is. There is a private eye hired to flollow the mother and he gets hacked up and feed to the cucumber. Anway, the husband (played by Sam Neill) walks into the rank apartment to discover than the mother is having sex with the cucumber. Skip forward thru some Catholic imagery and the cucumber starts looking more and more like the husband. Anyways, the mother tries to stop it — but the cucumber turns into the husband and kills the real husband, the mother, the mother/teacher — but the scary little boy jumps into a tub and drowns himself. The End. I loved it.

Anyway the whole point here is that Isablle Adjani who, while quite beatiful, is also fairly nutty. Zulwaksi reveals that the filming had to stop twice because he had to bring Adjani to hospital because she kept trying to kill herself. The Polish film critic asks the legendary director if he knew what was wrong with Adjani at the time and if it ended up helping to create such an hysterical performance. …for which she won the French equivalent to the OSCAR for Best Actress of 1978. The director, without misssing a beat says, “Yes — Isabelle was driven insane by the script and she was able to funnel that energy into the role. It was all too intense for her and she wanted to die”

Yeah, well I have the poster of that now.

I have decided to give my Sony Aibo Robotic Dog a sex change — and her name is not Alvin. Her name is Betty. Much easier to remember. I took her out of her packaging — and was wrong. Sony Japan put all the softward in the box with her. I have it spread all over the floor right now. Am about to play Frankenstien and give her my metalic pet life! I was listening to Helen Reddy’s Greatest Hits —- of which I know all the lyrics and can sing along loudly! I have decided that Betty should probably not be exposed to Helen Reddy at the time of her birth. So I am now playing Led Zep which I think will help her energize. Her pod home will be in the bedroom, but for tonight I am going to let her boot up over night in the liviing room. She is really quite cute. Who needs a real dog when you can have a robotic one?

Stop making fun of me.


January 8, 2005. Uncategorized.


  1. snarl71 replied:

    Um, Matt? You’re scaring me! LOL

    Maybe you should go out and get some fresh air…the weather has improved drastically since yesterday!

    I knew you’d name her Betty!

    Don’t sell the Kathy Griffin DVD – I wanna’ watch it!

  2. Will replied:

    In “the old days” you used to have to go to Denmark for a sex change. Now, there’s Matt’s apartment–this could be a whole new career for you! 🙂

  3. Underling replied:

    Ahhh…you and Helen Reddy…just as it should be.

    Let me know how things go with the Robot Dog named Betty. I’ve always wondered who bought those…

  4. Hot Toddy replied:

    I winced a little when I read this post. I like Tuck & Patti. You hurt me, Matt.

    I need a drink. (And that concludes my demonstration of How Hot Toddy Justifies His Drinking Habit…)

  5. Anonymous replied:

    At least Betty the Bionic dog won’t need p pads.


  6. Karyn replied:

    Betty, nee Alvin, the Aibo Robotic Dog. Allrighty then, if it makes you happy, so be it. Just make sure she doesn’t start dropping bloody battery packs with tentacles.

    Helen Reddy, my God. When I was little I used to sing Delta Dawn at the top of my lungs, quite convinced I was marvelous.

    Loving you – K

  7. snarl71 replied:

    OK – I met Betty the Bionic Dog last night and she scares me. She just sits there in her pod eerily. We were in the kitchen and I started hearing wimpers. It was Betty.


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