+A Prayer+

I have always found Christmas to be a mixture of sadness and happiness. …and, of confusion. Do people look forward to it as a celebration for the birth of their God or is it just another day off from work with gifts to boot? I believe in a higher power. I am unable to believe in the Christian faith because I find too much anger and hate within it. Or, perhaps it is that so many mis-read or mis-understand the guidance which The Bible provides.

I guess I have never quite found a faith that feels completely right to me.

However, I do know in my heart of hearts that there is a God and that this being is all love —- and, I guess I feel that this life is a sort of test for all of us to be the best people we can be. …a tougher order than one realizes when the mind fully contemplates it. How many of us can say that we try to be the best people we can be all of the time. It is a quest that seems to go against the grain of humanity. At any rate, I always find myself praying on Christmas Eve to the God I feel in music — that I feel in my heart, and that I sometimes see in the light of others.

I wanted to record my prayer this year. Not sure why. If pressed, I think I want to record it in hopes of getting us all to stop and think for a few minutes. To forget about the presents, the extra time away from work or school, the joys and burdens of our families and the pain of loneliness that many of us feel at this time of year. Instead, I hope that more of us can look inward and nurture our souls so that we can nurture others.

I pray that the world finds a way to peace and that our country’s leaders decide to change our course and will play a major role in helping the world get to that place. I pray for the innocent children, women, men and the brave soldiers who have been pulled into wars that defy logic. I pray for those people who have been beaten down for so many generations that the only hope they can find is to die in an act of violence.

And, I pray for those of us, like myself, who sat — and continue — to sit while it all happens — without doing much to make a difference.

I pray that my friends and family find the happiness and joy that they all deserve.

I pray that I find the strength to continue to fight the battle to heal the scars burned into my soul when I was far too young to protect myself. I pray for those who tried to harm my soul — and, for those who hid in the shadows and allowed them to do it.

I pray for the depth of vision to see a path toward true happiness.

I whisper a prayer for the things that we all need —- comfort, safety, support, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, trust and love.

And, I pray with all my heart that this higher power will hear all of our prayers and pain — and, that this power will help to ease it all.


December 23, 2004. Uncategorized.


  1. Anonymous replied:

    That was great. Well written, well said.
    You should submit it to the globe as an editorial.
    Have a great Holiday.

  2. Jon replied:

    I agree with David- may you find peace this holiday season and solace in the fact that God is nonjudgemental fat black lesbian 😉 Merry Christmas, next year will be better than the last for you, I know it!

  3. Underling replied:

    Wonderful Matt.

    I know this year the holidays must be tough on you, but you’ll make it through shining and smiling. I even added you onto my prayer last night. So, you pray for yourself and others will be praying for you to.

  4. Karyn replied:

    I love you Matt. (And your bedding, too.) I don’t know if I deserve joy or love or any of that stuff but this was a great prayer to share… hang tight, little camper, you’ll get through it. -K

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