Working Through It —- The Best I Can

Someone posted a comment to my blog that was ugly and I decided to remove it. What the person had to say was valid and made me stop and think about how I am working my way thru the process to what will essentially be a new chapter in my life. Karl is doing the same. The reason I decided to remove the post was due to the rather mean way the author chose to express him/her self. However, the reader posted a comment that stated I should have more consideration for how Karl feels and that it might be nicer of me to wait until we are completely dissolved before discussing future plans. I touched base with Karl. As I suspected, he was not upset by my posts or my choices. A couple of things I have written and discussed with him hurt a bit, but that is true on both sides. Karl and I have to be able to be honest with each other and move on — if we are to remain friends. It took me a while to realize it, but as Karl told me 7 or 8 months ago — we have been living as roommates for about 2 years now.

Several pals (both online and off) have expressed concern that I am jumping forward too fast. However, I have always moved fast in life. Over the past 6 years most of my gay male friends have moved out of state and I have lost touch with the others. I really need to reconnect with the world and make some friends. I know I have joked about “slutting out” — but that was really a reflection of some of my own frustrations as I work out of this. As I pursue new friendships, I am also keeping the door open for dating. I would be foolish not to do so.

Karl has really pushed himself to be more social and has been able to make some good friends via online chatting and so forth. He has a stronger network of local friends with whom he can talk. I need that too. In addition — this is my blog. I write what is going on for me and what I am thinking. It is never my intention to hurt anyone — especially Karl, with whom I shared some very wonderful years. I guess things just do not work out the way we plan them. It is time to move on and forward.

…And, to the individual who made posted the comment which has driven this one. I do want to thank you for making me stand back and reflect. I also want to let that reader know that Karl and I have discussed. We are ok with it. We are both moving forward. And, Karl understands that I need to reconnect with gay friends. Please feel free to post your comments and be honest — but I would ask that you try not to be so judgmental and ugly in the way you express yourself. It really isn’t cool. I’ve a funny feeling that what I wrote will probably piss you off. …that is what several people have warned me about. I hope it doesn’t. I really do.

November 15, 2004. Uncategorized.


  1. Anonymous replied:

    Karl here.

    Hey, BabyHed. Well put.

    Perhaps you should look into the venues you used the last time you made new friends: reading groups, volunteer opportunities, chatting people up in coffee shops/book stores…maybe joing that independent movie group?

    Of course, slutting about could make you popular, too…but in a whole different way. I suggest you try the other alternatives.

  2. Jon replied:

    I’ve never found your writing to be offensive- honest, yes, but not painfully blunt. Just tell it like it is!

  3. JayMaster replied:

    Hey Matt, I am sure that you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I broke up with a partner of 8 years in October 2002. Although this is over 2 years ago and I am happily living with a new partner I still find myself remembering things my ex and me did together. You don’t want to spend years brooding, but don’t be in a hurry to get over things too quickly. You and Karl have a long history that deserves to be recognised and don’t feel guilty about making time to do that. Take care. Jay x

  4. Anonymous replied:


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