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Bonding with the Kids

We are giving Karl’s brother and sister-in-law a break today. If you ever read Karl’s blog you know that his youngest niece is quite ill and has spent most of her life in hospitals. She is currently in the Boston Floating Children’s Hospital. Anyway, we are about to take the kids for the day and either explore Boston with them or take them to see some lame movie called “SHARKS” or something. I, for one, am all about the air-conditioned theatre! It will be fun to see them interact with Ms. Dusty!

October 16, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Another Day At The Office OR The Doctor Is In

After a very kind warning from a very good friend, I decided I to delete this posting. Not so much because I am worried about losing my job — that could end up being a blessing! — But because I do not want to betray the confidence of someone who came to me for help and could be easily ID’d by my post.

I guess I hadn’t thought about the fact that someone from my office might be reading my blog.

To my pal — Thanks for letting me know! …You would think I would have thought of that!

matt

October 14, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Sick Puppy!!!

I am worried for our little Dusty. I think she may be a bit under-the-weather. She is far too relaxed and lazy with me — just wants to be held. …And, then of course there was the fact that she threw up and peed in her cage.

As Karl and I fight our demons — I think I tend to project on to the little puppy. I worry for her too much and am very needy with her. However, being that she is a bit of a little drama queen, she seems to enjoy it.

Well, no real adventures to report. No one has flashed his nub of a penis at me, no more birds have fallen dead in my path — and my subway rides today went off without much of any issues. Well, OK, there was one slight issue. I left the house at 6:30am and, for some reason, my train was full — however I was able to secure a seat. This pretty young woman (probably in her mid-twenties) dressed in a very nice Ann Taylor suit with a mannerly coiff — tapped me on the headset with perfectly manicured fingernails. I turned off Goldfrapp, and looked at her. She asked me if I could be a gentleman and give up my seat to her. …I said no and focused on Goldfrapp’s awesome performance of TWIST.

I am really excited about the new Barbra movie headed our way for the holidays, but I have been thinking about some of the things I have read by some very obsessive fans who managed to secure tix to see one of those rough cut previews where the audience provides feedback on what works and what doesn’t. Anyway, I guess they have created a most grande entrance for Babs in the movie where the camera pans from her toes to her curly-permed head. However, there were several mentions of a funny scene with Babs demonstrating a fuck chair to DeNiro, Paltrow, Ben Stiller and that girl who plays his fiance — I guess the scene got a lot of laughs, but the studio is wanting a PG-13 rating vs. R-rating — so this scene may have to be cut. I have to confess I sort of want them to cut it. I mean, Babs is a great comic actress, but I don’t want to see Barbra on a fuck chair! I want to see her in gorgeous clothes being bitchy!!!! Oh well, we shall see. If anyone knows anything more — please email me!!!

Thomas — I think you need to fly to Boston to see this movie with me and Karl! It will be THE EVENT of the year! …Well, it will be the event of my year. I get all excited and can’t stop smiling as I watch!

Like, when I was 9 and my mom took me to see A STAR IS BORN and she wanted me to go buy us a soda, gave me the money and I just sat there — clutching the tender in my little hands with eyes glued to the screen for the full 2.5 hours. Oh, and I got my first real hard-on watching Kristofferson in the tub, but that is another blog.

Or, when all of my stoner friends took me to see YENTL on opening night back in 1983 — an Asshole by the name of Hollis, managed to know just when to cover my eyes so that I missed Bab’s first appearance on the screen. By the way, every Barbra film builds up to “THE BARBRA MOMENT” — usually cued by music and lush panning shots. Anways, I bit Hollis and made him pay me more for his weed that week! …the sorry bastard!

kisses from boston!
matt

October 13, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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existential Angst @ The Cineplex!

We had a rather mellow weekend and, somehow I managed to escape any further odd happenings! …And, I rode the subway several times! Our pals, Chad and David, came over for dinner in the North End and we watched a bad gay DVD —- but Scott Speedman is cute anyway. I forget the name of it, but not good.

I think the big deal for me was seeing Isabelle Huppert in I HEART HUCKABEE’S! Aside from having this exceptional woman in the film — it also has wit, creativity and some priceless performances by Lilly Tomlin, Dustin Hoffman and Marky Mark! A definite must see!! I also saw SHANE OF THE DEAD. It was a cute zombie move, with some funny bits — but not as good as I have been reading about for the past several months. Oh, and I saw Werner Herzog in INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS. I thought he wrote and directed it. …But he didn’t. It was a mock-u-mentary trying to be as good as Waiting for Guffman with a touch of Blair Witch. It just didn’t quite work.

Spent the entire day creating the Outlook for our area at work. For those not in the know of accounting terms — an Outlook is when one takes a look to see how well we are adhering to the budget we created. However, at my firm, the powers-that-be only allow us to have two months of actual spending to check our success or failure. …Normally one would be provided with 6 months of expenditures to check against the budget. Two months does not provide much info. So, we looked good for two months. Not sure how much that really has to say about me.

I have been listening to Goldfrapp’s Black Cherry over and over again today. I love that CD.

kisses from boston!
matt

October 11, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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The Blue Bird of Happiness — Died!

I am a superstitious person. Always have been. I know it is not logical, but I was always afraid to step on cracks. I hate it when I am walking down the street with someone —- we approach a pole, and the person allows the pole to pass between us. One should NEVER split the pole!

However, I am not an expert on all superstitions, but yesterday morning as I was approaching the side entrance of the Hancock Tower, where I work, I thought I saw a small rock fall from up-above and land on the cement infront of the entrance. As I approached I realized that this was not a rock — it was a little blue bird. I guess the wind tunnel killed the poor little thing. Anyway, I thought to myself, “Hmmm..I know it is bad news for a black cat to cross my path, but what sort of horrible thing is going to happen to me should a small blue bird fall dead in my path on the way to work?” I stepped over the little dead bird and went to work.

I think the omen that the Gods were sending had to do with ballet. Specifically, Russian ballet in the form of the Bolshoi Ballet and Orchestra performing DON QUIXOTE at The Wang. I am in no way an expert on the art of ballet. I only know that I enjoy watching it. I love the mix of fragility and strength — the incredible spinnings and leaps filled with grace — and, synchronization. So, I have heard of this ballet company all my life. I rushed for tickets. The performance was last night. The sets kept going up and falling back down during Act II. At first, I thought this was some sort of post-modern twist on the dementia of Sir Quixote, but when we saw one of the ballet dancers step on to back stage from the Exit door holding a can of Diet Coke — and then running back off the stage in fear — We realized that the Bolshoi was having set issues. The windmill came down. Then it went up. Then Down. …and the poor Russian dancers just kept on dancing. We had great seats for a ballet, but I also had a view of back stage left. After this castle came down and then went back up — I could see two men fighting back stage and a tiny anorexic ballet dancer trying to break them up while sill in her tu-tu.
And the Bolshoi dancers did not seem so filled with grace and clompiness. A leap was a bound and a twirl was a human drill. The principals had much bigger legs than I normally see in a ballet. And, worst of all, the ballet performers were never quite in full sync with each other.

Now, most in the sold-out crowd seem to enjoy it. So, we figured that maybe this was what one gets when watching a Russian ballet. I felt ripped of my $100 plus servicing fees. …Or, was this all caused by the little blue bird falling dead in my path? One has to wonder!

Oh, I saw an awesome DVD last night! A Chinese movie called “Oldboy” — A must see for any fan of Asian cinema or suspense/mystery! I figure Disney or Warner Bros will adapt it for Bruce Willis and ruin in at some point in the near future. Hollywood sadness.

October 9, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Meat Me On The Orange Line or The Meat of Strangers

Despite the very busy stuff going on at work, I’ve an appointment that I have to attend to on a weekly basis. However, I had a bit of trouble getting out of the office today so I was running a bit late.

I caught the Green Line (forgive me, this is Boston lingo for our horrid little trolley/subway system) —- jumped off the Green Line at Park Street and ran to catch the Orange Line to take me to Harvard Square. Now, sometimes our trains are jam packed with people and other times there is just no one on them at all. Well, I jumped on the second train and it was me, a sleeping bum and an odd looking fellow. Naturally, the odd looking fellow opted to sit directly across from me. This was an older man. I would guess he was in his late 60’s. While I could tell that he had a nice brief case —- the only problem was that it was sort of stuffed into an old Marshall’s shopping bag along with a lot of other crap.

I turned up my walkman to top volume to drown out the sounds — which I could do the same for the smells! UGH! Anyway, I have FatBoySlim’s new song “Don’t Let The Man Get You Down” on continuous replay because I really like it.

So, I am trying to breath thru my mouth because I swear I could smell his every twitchy move. Despite my desire to not look at him, I was unable to not notice that the odd fellow was starting to shimmy about.

And, then it happened — our eyes met. Now, once your eyes meet another’s — things can get strange really fast. Keep in mind that this all happened quite quickly because the Park Street Station is very close to the next stop.

Before I could look away he was talking to me as I could see his lips move. I pretended not to notice and looked past him out at the passing tunnel. We were approaching the point in the tunnel when we come out into the open air of the Charles River Stop. He banged his feet hard on the floor of the train. It woke up the sleeping bum.

Then this fellow stood up, his pants fell to his ankles, his tongue came out, he shook his hips and his erect penis swished back and forth. …I write “swish” because everything looked way too moist!

Why me? This all I could think — the train emerged from the tunnel. The bum started yelling something at him. I was a little worried to move because I knew I would just die if that sad little diseased stump touched my person. The train stopped and I bolted out the door and ran to the first train.

I thought about reporting it, but then I thought, “why bother?” …so, approx 10 minutes later I stepped off the train at Harvard Square. I had to turn and look back at the second train. …and there he sat. …itching his crotch and yawning. It is no secret that I have been around the block more than a few times, but I don’t think I have ever been flashed.

Am I living in a John Water’s movie????

October 6, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Soft-core Lesbian Sex Can Be Fun!!!

Now, for a man, I am about as gay as they come. However, even I got a hard-on when I first saw some Catherine Deneuve on Susan Sarandon action in THE HUNGER. I was 15 and my pal was 16 —- we dressed up in hopes of securing tix to see the movie which we knew featured our idols of the 80’s, David Bowie and Bauhaus. Nothing could prepare us for the coolness which unfolded before our stoned and fragile eyes. THE HUNGER is one of the all time coolest movies ever made — so I was all excited upon receiving it via UPS today!

…Bela LaGosi’s dead. …undead, undead. Awesome movie!

Thus far my anus seems to be OK and Dusty is acting more normal toward me this evening. I made her eat 3 breath-enhancing doggie biscuits last night and drink lots of water. So, I guess her licks are OK. …just don’t bend over to pick up the soap!

October 5, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Rimming Should Never Even Come Into the Picture Regarding Puppy Love!

OK, so this post may contain more info that you would ever want to know about me or my precious little puppy, Miss Dusty, — but something most disturbing happened today. I was violated by my puppy.

See, I got home, slipped out of my clothes and was ready to take a shower. Then I thought to myself, “Let me boot up the stupid PC because it takes approx 20 minutes to get it up and running. So, there I was — kneeling naked infront of the PC going thru all of the stupid prompt errors we now get — and, then I noticed Dusty was licking the bottoms of my feet. Now, granted I did get a pedicure while in NYC, but I would rather Dusty not lick the bottom of my feet. So, I stayed focused on the PC and said, “NO,Dusty!” …I continued to sift thru the many odd screens that pop up as we try to get on line. And, then it happened. So fast — I could not predict or even stop it. Yes, with one swift push, Dusty inserted her puppy tongue into a place where a pet owner’s pet’s tongue should NEVER GO!!! I jumped about three feet into the air with the squeal of an 8th grade girl and Dusty barked and ran to her cage.

It took several soul-searching moments to come to the realization that my puppy had just attempted to rim me. This was most certainly not in the Shih Tzu training manual! To be honest, I am not sure I will ever be able to trust my puppy again.

So, the next time any of you are around our puppy, keep the above in mind as she tries to kiss you. — AND, whatever you do, DON’T TURN YOUR BACK AND BEND DOWN! She will take advantage!

I did take a shower and am feeling a bit better. Dusty has been trying to win me back by crying for me to pick her up. …which I did. I guess she might not have realized what she did. Oi!

…Welcome to my world of bestiality.

October 4, 2004. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

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A Perfectly Fucktious Sunday!

Ok, so I have been trying to create a link to a posting by Jerome regarding Victorian-era gay erotica, but with no luck! Tim, if you should pop by my page please help me and post a link in the comments section! However, just stroll by Tim‘s blog and follow his link! A fun read with a cool new variation of the word “fuck” I had not known before! However, Jon has been kind enough to share a true erotic adventure of his own. I tell ya, these are the things of which great porn are made!

By the way, Karl and I saw A DIRTY SHAME this afternoon. My second viewing as I had promised I would not see it without him and then broke my promise when my pal, Alan, came for a visit. Anyway, is it just me or has anyone else noticed a number of references to Goddard in the movie???? I was explaining this to Karl on our walk home —- why? I do not know as I realized that he did not know who Goddard was and I do not really think he cared to know. Oh well.

October 3, 2004. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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The Minnie Pearl of Pants

I have not posted in a several days and I have not had a chance to even check on my emails. Work has been crazy — we are starting a major year long re-construction project and will be moving approximately 500 people to swing space located 3 city blocks from the office tower floors we have to demolish and rebuild. Fun stuff. Actually, if I were someone who actually enjoyed facilities work this would be a cool project. However, at the moment is seems to be a vortex of enegry and time. Then there is the rollercoaster ride called “Karl and Matt’s Relationship” — the loops pop up unexpectedly and we drop and then swivel upside down for days. But, we are still sticking the ride out trying to figure out if we have stayed too long at the fair or maybe we just need to jump on to another ride. Forgive the analogy — it is close to 2am. lol. Oh well.

Dusty got her second hair cut today! Or, I guess we should call that a grooming experience —- I felt really sorry for the poor guy who was washing and cutting Ms. Dusty. However, they both got through it. …as did the other customers and animals at PetCo who looked thru the glass in horror at the shrieks and high pitched screams coming from a tiny dog. She really is tiny, too! She was all hair! She has a “puppy cut” and is most cute! I also picked out two really styling sweaters for the coming winter for our princess bitch! One is from the newly-released Barbie Pet Collection! Gorgeous little pink number which is sure to be all the rages for female puppies in the know. Also found a way cool fringe – 1970’s inspired fringe hot pink sweater for the girly puppy who like to get the groove goin’ when she prances out for a wiz in the snow! Dusty also got several new plush toys designed by the folks at Barbie for Pets. She really loves them!

Last night me and Jen took in a movie. We saw the Stephen Fry flim, BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS, which was quite good. A couple of the male actors were sooooo cute, but seemed like babies leaving Jen and I to feel a bit pervish. However, I should stress that all were of “legal tender” — Speaking of movie boy stars, New England is being assaulted with Jude Law posters of his 21 Century re-make of “Alfie” — which I figure will either feature a hip-hop version of that old song by Lil Kim or Dido. Anyway, I know that Jude Law is attractive, but he really does not do much for me. I mean, what is the big deal? I am sorry, but Johnny Knoxfield and all those JackAss/Wild Boys men are much hotter. I might have Johnny’s last name wrong — but you know of whom I speak!

Anyway, I had to run by the restroom before the start of the movie. I was wearing a new pair of casual dress pants. …Jen didn’t notice. sigh. Anyway, as I was, um, relieving myself I noticed that there was a price tag hanging on the inside of the pants. So, took a look in the mirror, and sure enough, there was a sticker price tag just below my belt. Color me embarrassed.

I guess I should head to bed! I will need to catch up with all my blog pals!

October 2, 2004. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

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