One of my favorite monthly reads, PAPER MAGAZINE, is going to publish an email I sent them in their December issue! I feel so validated! However, I guess I should not feel too good about it because the editor person called me “Mike” in his email requesting my city/state information. Still, even tho they do not know my name — they are going to print my letter! I am all excited. …well, not really. But I am pleased and can’t wait to see who will be on the cover!!! Knowing my luck in life, the cover boy will probably be Dom DeLuise.

This was my e-mail for all of the world to see this coming December:

Just one of my many favorite sections of Paper Magazine is Ann Magnuson’s LA Woman column. The world needs more of Ann! “THE HUNGER” finally found its way to DVD and I think a number of us are dying to know what it was really like to deep kiss David Bowie as he scored second base! That had to be an experience worthy of remembering!!

A Former Bongwater Groupie!
Matt Stanfield

I really would love to read or hear what she would have to say about that movie acting experience!

And, I really was a Bongwater groupie. I was crushed when they ended and even more crushed to find out that Kramer had been such a jerk to her! At one point in early 1992 — I sent a letter to Kramer offering myself as a sex slave to both he and Ann if they would let me work at Shimmy Disc and give me a cot on which to sleep.

…The cool thing is that he did write back and he even sent me a way cool shirt and some cute little voodoo dolls. …the bummer of it was what he wrote: “Thanks for the offer, but we already have a sex slave. Best wishes, Kramer”

oh well. you’ve got to give it your best shot.

Whatever happended to Kramer? He did a couple of solo CD’s before Shimmy went under. Kind of sucked because he was the first to give such groups as Gwar, Ween and even Daniel Johnson their first record deals. They all left him for major label deals. Then he tried to screw Ann out of royalties. I guess the last I heard or saw of him was a couple of years ago. He was doing some shows at The Knitting Factory in NYC —- I think they bought out his former label’s catalog. He also released an experimental CD which I could not really understand.

Kramer, are you out there somewhere? Are you in need of a sex slave? I am now in my late 30’s with a bit of xtra weight that I shall soon be shedding. …I still have hair! However, my basic requirements still stand. I have to insist on a paying job of some sort and a cot. I know you are straight, but I can help you work thru that.


Oh, and on the positive side — I actually talked about me and Karl to a co-worker and managed to not get sick or cry. I figure that is a step in the right direction. The sad thing is — I feel like I really am losing everything that matters to me. I wish I could just get a break. …maybe the letter in Paper is a sign of good things to come.

a boy can dream.

October 28, 2004. Uncategorized.

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