A Brush With Porn Greatness!
Well, tonight is our last night in PTown! Whaaaaaa! Tomorrow morning we are headed to Mashpee to hang with Dusty and Karl’s parental unit for a couple of days. We saw the glamorous Miss Richfield 1981 perform tonight. She was a blast! And, it sounds like she is about to have her own syndicated TV show called “Cooking Is A Drag!” Should be funny!
Oh! So, there is a really cool store in PTown called Symbology — best known for their stock of “Ruff Rider” t-shirts. Anyway, I have visited the shop a couple of times trying to decide if I wanted to purchase a Merc London messenger bag. A few days ago I went in and the clerk let me check out the bag at length. I opted not to purchase. He was very friendly and put it back up on the shelf for me and tripped as he walked back to the register stand commenting that he was a klutz. He was also most cute. He looked a great deal like and had identical tattoos to my current gay porn idol, Johnny Hazzard! However, he was quite short and rather effeminate. Certainly not an issue pour moi, but I tossed aside the idea that he could be THE Johnny Hazzard as Johnny is always quite a manly-man in Chi-Chi LaRue’s videos.
However, our pal David also saw the friendly clerk and suspected that this little cute boy could be THE Johnny Hazzard. So, the four of us trekked down to the shop in the west end and were bummed out to discover that the cute little fellow was not working. However, David spoke right up to the other person working the counter and it was confirmed. THE Johnny Hazzard waited on me and I did not even know it!!!! Ah, it kills me that I didn’t get to secure his autograph and a picture of the two of us together!
I have to say, tho, my porn fantasy has been a bit tarnished. The Johnny Hazzard of my dreams does not sew and is at least 6 feet. Oh well. He is still the best thing to happen to porn since Joey Stefano, if you ask me. And, unlike poor Joey, Johnny (real first name is Frankie) seemed to be quite sweet and non-drug-addled. He also exhibited no attitude! Cool! I wonder if he has quit the biz. Hmmm….
We have really had a nice time in PTown, but I miss Dusty something awful and I am really anxious to see her!
The PTown Definition of a Pearl Necklace…
…As defined by the wondrous Varla Jean Merman (“love child” of Ethel Merman and Ernst Bornign) is probably exactly what you perverts suspect! We saw her show tonight and it rocked! Much fun was had by all.
Our pals, David and Chad, are hanging with us as of today. Today was David’s birthday. We didn’t know until after Ms. Merman’s performance at the Post Office Cabaret — but we were able to treat him to a delightful chocolate confection at the Cafe Blase.
The weather is looking up and tomorrow should be a great beach day! Having loads of fun, eating too much, spending more than I should and just enjoying myself! Sorry for the dull posting, but I just got through reviewing about 100 emails for work and it is almost 2am and I am sooooo tired! Talk to you kids later!
Kisses from Gay Town!
The weather was not good today so we did not make it to the beach. However, a pal of ours arrived in Ptown this morning and we hung with him for a while and walked to the very end of the Ptown Getty! Karl told me that the walk was 1 mile each way. I fear he was mistaken. I am fairly certain that we walked approximately 10 miles each way. I was so tired that I collapsed on the sofa at this nice condo and slept away the afternoon.
We then met up with our friend after a very nice dinner at The Crown & Anchor. We saw Ryan Landry’s summer production, “The Septic Wives” It was a most enjoyable bit of entertainment from Mr. Landry’s Goldust Orphans! Certainly not up to the standards of his last, “Pussy on the House” — but a fun send-up of “The Stepford Wives”
Tomorrow Karl will be going to the beach and I will be taking some “alone” time to shop. Karl is very nervous about that, but I love my shopping while on vacation in PTown!! Our friends, David and Chad arrive tomorrow afternoon and will be staying with us thru the rest of our vacation. I do not believe that either of them have been here during “the season” so it should be a lot of fun!
Karl let me look at all the pictures he has taken since we arrived here. It is a good thing that my best pal, Bethie, is going to get me on a strict work-out routine because I now have the shape of a bell. This is not good. This is even especially bad as I seem to be surrounded by gorgeous man-flesh now. Seems that a whole load of pefection came off the ferry today and are walking about to make me feel most inferior. That is OK. Just wait till next year!!!
The Facts of Life Girls Gone Bad and Posing for a Picture with Lea Delaria! Cool!
We are having a great time despite unseasonably cool weather. Tonight we saw a perverted drag version of “A Lost Episode” of The Facts of Life. It was funny, but a little too long for my taste. However, Karl really enjoyed it. We had a nice guy take a picture of us with the cast. Oh, and we ran into Lea Delaria again. This time I had Karl take a picture of she and I together. I wish I knew how to post pictures to my blog. Some day I will figure it out. At any rate, Karl will be posting to his blog.
Looks like we are in for a good deal of rain for the next two days. Not cool, but we do not care. We will be having fun anyway. We were able to get in a good beach day today, but the water actually got colder. The high temp for the water today was 61 degrees. I did take a dip and managed to stay in a bit longer, but could not stay in for longer than about a minute. If we are to trust the weather Doppler radar, our last several days should be really hot and humid — so my hope is that I will get some relaxing swimming in before we return to reality.
Dueling Bankheads, Pretty Boys, Great Food and Relaxation!
I am not sure I will be blogging much during our vacation, but I had to check my emails at work and decided to go a head create a quick post. We are having a great time. Next to Montreal, Ptown is my favorite place. I got to meet Lea Delaria on Commercial Street — or at least she handed me a flyer promoting her show at Vixen and I told her she rocks. She thanked me, called me honey and patted my shoulder — not sure if that counts as meets, but she seemed quite nice — and, tho I am not sure she would appreciate this, she is pretty. Nice smile and eyes.
We saw the Dueling Bankheads and they were so very funny. I am not sure Karl enjoyed it too much because I am not so sure he knows who the great film star is that these two drag queens play in unison.
Lots of pretty boys, but not so many that I feel inferior. I have actually been, try not to be too shocked, cold! I had to purchase one of those tacky zip up PTown sweat things. I did take a jump into the Atlantic this afternoon while we were at the beach and almost died. It was sooooo cold!!!! Anyway, hope everyone is doing well! We are off to wander the fun that can be found on Commercial Street!
“On Call” in PTown!
Yay! Tomorrow morning we leave for the Cape! We will spend the evening with Karl’s parental unit, have a lovely breakfast at Percy’s (really good food!), leave Dusty with her biggest fans and head off to gay old PTown. It is funny, but I can already feel myself starting to relax.
It was very busy at work today. I had an important meeting with HR — my fellow manager needed to run out and score some caffeine. I agreed and raided the vending machine for M&M’s which I then sorted by color and ate with sips of soda. We had our meeting and accomplished quite a bit, but I was just relieved to be able to focus on one person and eat my sorted M&M’s without worry of any interviews, angry executives or upset employees.
As I was wrapping things up tonight I found myself daydreaming of lying out in the sun with cool music playing in my ears — sometimes raising my head to look at Karl and the ocean. Oh, I can’t wait!
The only downside is that I am “on call” for work the whole time I am out. I will have to check my email and voice mail once a day, touch base with a fellow manager who is standing in for me as Office Manager twice a day and have my pager/cell at the ready 24/7. I am a Democrat. I am not happy with Kerry and Edwards and I am so sick of this fucking DNC! Aside from all of the everyday hassles —- it is the reason I have to be on the ready to jump on a ferry or rent a car to get back to Boston. Such a pain. Everyone gets all twitchy and nervous. I just don’t know.
The one thing I do know is that I am going to PTown for a full week and am going to relax and have a sexy awesome time!!!! …tho, no one is allowed to take my picture while I am on the beach. …at least no shots below the chest. …Fatty does not want to be photographed!
Upon my return, my best friend is putting me on an aggressive work-out routine. She will force me to stick to it and has made it her mission to return my body to its original hard shape when she first meet me. In fact, she told me that she is going to get my ass firmer than it ever knew it could be. …and, she promises that she won’t make me stop with the chocolate and soda. She feels that this would be a losing battle. I love Bethie.
I was going to take my brother, Roy, out to dinner tonight to give him a grande send off to NYC, but he got a migraine and had to go straight home and lay down. I hope he feels better. Feel a little blue because he will have moved to NYC by the time we return from PTown. Of course, I will be going to see him. He and his girlfriend secured a place in Astoria. Jon can correct me, but I think that is located in the very beginning of Queens —- not too deep into it. So, it won’t take them long to get to the city. They will have to come to the city to visit me. I doubt that they will be able to pry me out of Manhattan. The city of life! Bon Voyage, Roy! Start up a new kind of Mudd Club! Get famous quick and hire me to be your PR person. I will get you loads of free stuff and publicity!
Guilt Ridden and Sweaty
I was in a hurry. I had two appointments and had to leave the office promptly at 3pm. As I rushed out of the comfort of our air-conditioned tower I was encompassed by the oppressive heat and humidity that so many of my nutty co-workers are loving. I stumbled through the hellish heat only to be stopped by a caring Democratic pedestrian who asked me, “Would you like to help us get Bush out of the White House?” …well, I mumbled “no” without making eye contact.
Half a block later the guilt hit me. I turned around and walked back to the nice young man with the clipboard. He seemed all excited to see me again. I told him I was sorry that I had been so rude and that, yes, I would love to get Bush out of the White House —- I then told him that I was in a hurry and dying in the heat. As sweat poured down my face and I began to melt he began to recite a bunch of stuff. I tried to stay polite, but I stopped him and told him I didn’t have time to listen. I then added that he was preaching to the choir. What did he want from me to help his organization get Bush out of the White House. He told me $200.
I told him that I have given quite generously to the Kerry campaign. …not true, but I wasn’t giving some kid with a clipboard $200. In truth, I think I donated $40 to Human Rights Campaign. That is all I have done aside from sign a bunch of petitions.
Drenched in sweat I made my way back to the subway and headed on to my appointments. I looked like hell, but I think my deodorant has held up. I smell good. I just look like a bit of melted sludge.
Anniversary Gas — Or, Maybe a Bit More Than You Really Want to Know
Tonight Karl and I celebrate our anniversary! This is our 9th one! As many of you have been kind enough to let me “vent” with you off-line, some know that this has been a rather challenging couple of years for the two of us. However, I was sitting at my desk trying to focus on a report and I realized how much joy Karl brings to my life and how very much I love him. And, so it is with a great deal of love that I write, “Happy Anniversary, Karl! Thank you for sharing your life and love with me!”
Now, I am not sure that what I am about to relate has anything at all to do with our anniversary — but I feel compelled to share. My job is a bit on the unique side. I do not really manage the office as much as I attempt to manage people. I think I do my job well. I spend my days persuading, negotiating, evaluating, facilitating, resolving, convincing and reprimanding people. The folks who work for my company are normally quite committed to what they do and approach their work with a great deal of focus. Very often boundaries get crossed. This morning one was crossed. A male in a position of some power at my firm was wanting to discuss an issue with me and was soliciting my advice regarding how he should go about handling a rather sensitive issue. Nature had been calling me for several minutes prior to his entering my office. I asked if I could follow-up with him after I took a quick run to the restroom.
…He said yes, but his actions just begged “no” —- he followed me as I walked toward the men’s room and continued to speak to me about something that was really a rather private topic. I suggested that we hold off till we could get to either his office or back to mine. I offered to swing back to his office — and, yet he continued to talk and question. He followed me into the can and, had I not secured the door to the stall, I think he would have entered with me.
And, then it happened. He said, “Well, I will wait a minute” —- and, I could hear him sighing and pacing on the tile floor. A slow, steady and quite powerful squeal began to flow from my ass. I could no longer hear him pacing, but I could hear him breathing not too far from my stall. The squeal changed level to more of a moanin’ low sort of intestinal squall — then it turned to a sort of high-pitched gush of sound and odor. I couldn’t stop it. My ass just kept playing a sort of melody of fart that went on for at least 4 minutes! And, I assure you that I am not exaggerating.
At last, the longest fart in history came to a close and my “client” stated — “Listen, why don’t we get together on this tomorrow! Take care, Matt!”
…oh, the humanity.
A Very Gay Sunday Afternoon!
I do believe that my back is almost back to 100%! It damn well should be! After a most dreary day at work on Friday, I came home and have done nothing but lay on my back and stare at DVD’s on the TV. I only just started moving around normally about 3 hours ago. I have spent my afternoon watching Judy Garland in her last movie with the gorgeous Dirk Bogarde, “I Could Go On Singing!” — with our little Shih-Tzu puppy. Somehow, the only way it could have been any more gay would have been for me to have had one of those pretty drinks with a pink umbrella floating in it! The movie is not good, but it is so totally 1963 that one just is just unable to look away. — And, there are some great musical moments!
Hope everyone had a glorious weekend!
Just four more working days till Karl and I head to PTown!!!! I will be on call for work, but my hope is that I will not have to rush back to Boston during the DNC. …but, we shall see!
What Are You Going To Do About The Tears?
People and their application of “logic” and “religion” always manages to surprise me. I hope Towleroad! will not mind, but I found this horrid little website and article this article thanks to his awesome website.
While I do not think anything near a hate crime was being committed and do not entirely agree with her response, I applaud the “…very sloppily put together Marilyn Monroe look-alike” — as the writer describes her. She sounds fucking beautiful to me!
So much is revealed by this “ex-gay” dude when he writes, “I can only imagine how the Lord feels” — I can only imagine too, but from the other perspective. If there are tears falling from Heaven, I would venture to suggest that they are falling for the sad folks behind this website and such sad atrocities as this “war” we are never going to be able to “win” — Somehow, I do not think loving gay parents, gay/lesbian couples holding hands, or the revilers of hetro spring break or us homos partying in PTown is cause for holy alarm. People really need to get a grip.