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My 3 Favorite Songs and A Sandwich Called ‘Joan’

In case anyone cares, I shall list my 3 favorite songs of all time. The order is intentional and does indicate that I prefer the first song to the second and third. Here they are:

1. Evergreen (Love Theme for A Star Is Born) by God, uh, I mean Barbra
2. Sara by Fleetwood Mac
3. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Now I must add that I do have a 4th favorite song, but I don’t feel like listing it. However, it is a beautiful piece of popera.

Ah, Evergreen. So sublime and pretty. If only love could be like an easy chair! This song is all about romance and sex on big fluffy pillows for me. I experienced my first erection watching Kris Kristofferson doing Babs in that bathtub surrounded by candles in beer cans. Ah, that is romantic and hot! However, the erection surprised me. This resulted in my asking my Mom about sex. I think this was my second or third time I asked her about it. She decided to explain the act of sexual intercourse using my poster of Captain and Tennille as the guiding example. “First the Captain gets an erection like you did, and then he inserts his erect penis into Tennille’s vagina…”

I had to take down my poster that night. It still kind of disturbs me. I mean watching Kris without his shirt doing Babs is one thing, but having to imagine the Captain poking Tennille is really more than a 9 year old can handle.

Then of course is the witchy 1979 Stevie Nicks twirling about a stage singing of that poet of her heart! …And there was a heartbeat and it never really died. Oh, I just love that song! I saw her perform it in 1981 during the Tusk tour in Houston. …Don’t tell my mother. She doesn’t know. I actually only remember the part of the show where Stevie got on her knees and banged her tambourine. The rest is all a sort of drug-induced fog. Blame it on my wild heart. …or this freaky girl I hung out with for years.

And, how can one resist the song stylings of Jim Steinman (sp?) — I mean Total Eclipse of the Heart is like this all time great white trash rock opera piece! One has to love it and no one could sing it better than Ms. Bonnie Tyler. Of course, one does have to worry about all of those scary choir boys floating about in the video. I think they were meant to be demons representing Bonnie’s pent up sexual attraction young boys. …or maybe that was the video director’s issue? Hmmmmm…

Oh, my administrative assistant’s mother-in-law made this really interesting sandwich for her the other day. It was like a big leaf wrapped up in string. When Jane (not her real name!) cut the strings, I discovered that the leaf was protecting a dish of sweet rice, peanuts and pork! It looked so good! However, she is pregnant I felt it would be cruel to steal her lunch. Anyway, she was kind enough to have her mother-in-law make one for me! I asked her what this delicious sandwich was called and she said “Joan”. I asked her how to spell it, but she wasn’t sure. Anyway, I love eating “Joan” — the sandwich. …And, ‘Jane’ advised me that it wasn’t really a sandwich. However, she could not explain what it was — nor was she really sure how it was prepared. Like me, she doesn’t cook. However she explained that most people of her generation do not understand the cooking ways of their elders. I thought this was sad. I mean, to think that ‘Jane’ will not know how to teach or share the dish of “Joan” with her children — or, more importantly me, is quite sad. She told me to get a grip. I guess “Joan” is available at most Dim-Sum’s — tho, I don’t think I have ever noticed it. ?

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June 23, 2004. Uncategorized.

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