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Abandonment Issues, Stunted Puppies and Thoughts of the Retarded

It has been so cool having the chance to really get to know my brother, but he is about to pull out of this village and is headed to that city which never sleeps! Yes, Roy is moving to Brooklyn. I am sad, but I now have a real excuse to get my fat ass to Manhattan from time to time! And, if he is to really further his career in the arts — he needs to be in NYC or LA. I am glad he has decided to go with the east coast. It is just too mellow and beautiful for me in California. I am not very mellow. And, yes, I have tried to be mellow. It just doesn’t work for me. I am hyper and thrive on city noise. Hey, why the hell aren’t I moving to NYC!?!?!? However, I would have to live in Manhattan. Brooklyn is fine, but I would need to be in the actual city. Anyway, Roy plans to be there for August. Seems like he only just arrived in Boston.

Dusty, our retarded puppy, is still teething on any and all things with an edge or shape. Luckily, she is quite cute. Like Julie Kavner and that dude who played John Boy on The Waltons — in that really sappy 1970’s TV movie about the two retarded adults who meet, fall in love and marry —- while their families fret and the social worker encourages them along. Julie and John Boy were cute as retarded. I wasn’t very pleased with Linda Purl and Shaun Cassidy when when they played retarded in another 1970’s TV movie. They were not cute. They were just annoying. Juliette Lewis, who probably is retarded, and that cute actor who played Phoebe’s brother on “Friends”, both played retarded well. And they were both cute. Plus they both had killer bodies one seldom notices on most of the retarded. My uncle was retarded. He was very sweet and cute. I loved him.

Speaking of Juliette Lewis, she is now pursuing a career as a rock-n-roll girrrl. She is still cute, but the retarded shtick probably won’t mix well with the whole Iggy Pop as female thing. I should add that I do truly love Juliette Lewis. I really do. She is the Sandy Dennis of our generation. Every generation needs a Sandy Dennis. You know, some actress who is able to keep it real. …and slightly retarded. I have seen “Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean” and “Natural Born Killers” 20 times each. Sandy and Juliette rock!

I bet Rossie Perez and Anthony Gallo could play cute retarded — with an edge. Whoopie would need to play their caring social worker. Lanie Kazzan could play Rosie’s waitress mother and Paul Dooley could play Anthony’s stockbroker father. We need a sappy TV movie about a couple of retarded citizens falling in love for the naughts! I think I smell a hit for CBS!!! You know, I think Rossie O’Donnell is about to play retarded. That might be a bit uncomfortable.

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June 8, 2004. Uncategorized.

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