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The Dentist Wants Me

I went in to see my dentist this afternoon to address a loose cap. As I walked into the dentist’s lair I asked the dental assistant if she could please stay in the room for the duration of my visit. She looked puzzled and asked why. In my own rambling way I said something to the effect that I was unable to work the thing that releases water for me to rinse my mouth. This took me several minutes. She shrugged her shoulders and said she would hang around if I felt I might need her.

I then covered my crotch with my hands and waited for my friendly dentist to arrive. When he arrived he asked me how things were going, how was work, what were my plans for Christmas, what was I doing to celebrate the New Year and if I was enjoying all the snow. I was friendly and answered all questions while keeping my hands placed firmly over my crotch. No free grabs today!!

He took out the loose cap and put it back on with more cement. He asked me to bite down gently on this gauze thing. He told me I would need to bite down on it for 5 minutes. Thus began an awkward 5 minutes of him sitting at my right side looking at me and the dental assistant sitting to my left looking out the window. I decided to shut my eyes. My right arm was starting to fall asleep so I had to give up the guard over my groin area. Toward the end of the 5 minute bit of dental strange-ness — the dentist touched my hair and said, “I really like the way you’ve combed your hair. It looks really good.” I said thank you through a mouth filled with gauze and cement.

He then “cleaned” off the excess cement and patted me on my knee and said, “All set!” He walked me to the counter, touched my back and said to call him at any time should I experience any discomfort and then advised the lady working the front desk that there “was no charge for Matt!” …However, I do not think a dentist would ever charge a patient for fixing a cap the he had put on like this. I guess I could be wrong.

I walked out of his office feeling kind of icky, but also a bit flattered. I am thinking that I might need to get a new dentist. I just hate it because he is really a very good dentist. However, I suspect it is a cavity of a whole different area that is of interest to him and that’s creepy. I mean, he is a dental professional. Of course, I guess they have needs too.

December 16, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Lonely Brunch

Actually, I am not sure if having breakfast/lunch at 11:15am at the counter of a diner could even be called ‘brunch’ —- but I was all alone. Karl didn’t want to go and I hadn’t thought ahead enough to plan anything with anyone.

It always surprises me when strangers start speaking to me — especially in remotely critical ways. To be honest, I think I am kind of shut off from being approached by strangers. That comes from living for over a decade in Boston. Anyway, I brought a couple of those year end wrap-up holiday letters that some folks still send out with their Christmas cards. I really enjoy these types of letters. I like to see how creative my friends/family get — and, even if I do know everything that has happened for the individual over the past year, I really do enjoy reading them. Seems like every year less of my friends do them.

Anyway, I am sitting at the counter protected by the invisible wall which encircles me and the lady next to me says, “Wow. You actually read those. I toss them away. They annoy me.” Then the kid on the other side of me joins in and says, “Yeah, why don’t they just send me an email or call me” —- the lady next to me seems to get a rush out of this and chimes up, “Exactly!”

I try to decide if I am even going to look up from the letters I so enjoy and make any sort of reply. However, for those of you who do know me — I can seldom keep my mouth shut. So, I raise my head up and said — “I’ve been looking forward to reading these. You see, I love my friends and family and take interest in their lives” I then went back into my holiday letters. The two people said nothing further, but I could feel them looking at me as I read.

I did not enjoy eating this particular version of “brunch” alone, but what are ya gonna do?

The broker selling our home is having an open house this afternoon so we have to clear out for a couple of hours. We are expecting about 8 inches of snow this afternoon so we are going to go downstairs to the local cinema and see that new movie with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.

Two of our pals, Bill and Dan, are coming over tonight for dinner. I think we are going to walk down the street to one of our local restaurants. However, I worry that Salem will be shutting down early due to snow tonight. …because, well, it is Salem and they just seem to love to close early all of the time. If this happens we are screwed as we really do not have anything much to serve at home. I am looking forward to getting back to Boston!

December 14, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Loose Cap

Had a dental appointment this afternoon to have my teeth cleaned and scaled. There is something about having my teeth scaled which I find satisfying. You know, like they are really cleaning my teeth. No cavities or anything, but I’ve a loose cap that needs to be removed and re-cemented back on. They will take care of that bit of fun on Tuesday. I can’t wait.

Anyway, due to some surgery I had in the mid-90’s I have to take a load of anti-biotics prior to any dental visit. I was stupid and failed to eat breakfast or lunch prior to the appointment and ended up feeling quite sick. We had to cancel plans to meet a friend for dinner.

So we came home. Karl did whatever it is he does on the computer for about 4 hours while I watched DVD’s of Fynny Girl and Spun. An interesting, but oddly well-matched double feature. I am not sleepy. I might watch All That Jazz which I purchased a while back but never watched.

Well, thus far this has been my exciting weekend. Oh, we did look at 4 condos today. Liked 2 of the 4, but not enough to pursue. I suspect we will end up renting at a luxury apartment building and taking our time finding the perfect place — I just know it is out there.

Gee, this is a quite dull posting. Sorry. I will try to do better next time!

December 13, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Sometimes People Can Really Surprise You…

…and, sometimes it can even be in good ways. Like tonight — I was very tired and left work around 6:45pm. I walked thru the black melting snow, as I was slipping my subway pass thru the little swipe thing that allows me to push thru those metal bars that hurt if not in release position — I dropped my wallet into what I hope was mush that was former snow vs. some form of human secretion, I wiped it off on my socks and then I got on the subway to head toward the commuter rail to come home.

The train was full. Everyone looked suspect to me and then —- a man entered the train and slipped. He went crashing down on the subway floor. Much to my surprise 6 people jumped out of their seats (at risk for losing them) to help the guy! As I sat and watched the dude trip and fall it really made me feel good to see so many offer to help.

…then I realized I hadn’t moved a muscle to assist. Oh well.

I am really rather worried about my wallet and the goo I dropped it in.

I have been so busy at work I’ve not had time to create any posts. Sorry. And, now I am must check on all my fave blogs like Homoesque and Dear Daniel so I will know what is going on for my buds in Oklahoma and England!

December 11, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Snow, Snow and Even More Snow…

New England is a real winter wonderland. …and the snow is still falling here in Salem. It should be stopping soon according to the news. Yes, snow is pretty and I do enjoy it, but tomorrow I fear it will all be ice. I figure I will have a lot of fun making my way to the commuter rail and to work. I also figure that only about 3 administrative assistants will show up for work and I will have about 50 partners mad at me. But once again, the way I figure it — that’s life.

So, has anyone purchased the new Cyndi Lauper CD? I have. It is a recording of mostly standards which opens with “At Last” —- I really like it, but find the arrangements and vocal approaches unusual. On first listen, I wasn’t quite sure I liked it, but on the second run-thru — I loved it. Just curious if anyone else had picked it up. The new Tori Amos CD is a greatest hits package, but it contains a couple of new songs. I really like one of them — I believe it is called “Trapping Angels” — but I am not able to understand anything she is singing. I just like the tune and make up my own words as I drive.

Our pals, Pete and Duncan, wanted us to come look at their tree last night — during a blizzard — so we did. They declined to come look at ours last night because of the blizzard. ? but they said they would come see it today. They never showed or called. I suspect that P&D do not love us anymore. Either that or they only want us to get pelted with ice and snow or they do not care to see our lovely tree.

The tree really is pretty this year! I bought a new ornament of a pinapple (sp?) lady! She is about 8″ tall and wears funky shoes. She looks way cool. I have her hanging near my Barbra Streisand globe. I was also able to find a wonderous Elvis ornament circa 1955 — he is hanging from the lowest branch and adds a great deal of holiday sex appeal. Our tree is a class act!

December 7, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Dans Ma Peau or How I Spent the Day of the Season’s First Snow Storm

The snow was falling hard and Karl was planning to spend the day inside “studying” for school — which I suspect translates to surfing the net for porn — tho I could be wrong. Anyway, that wasn’t going to do it pour moi. I decided to venture out in the beautiful falling snow, take the commuter rail into Boston, jump on the subway to Cambridge and see that French film, “Dans Ma Peau/In My Skin”.

Now this film has been writen/directed by the woman who has co-written and produced almost all of Francois Ozon’s films. Ozon happens to be, in my opinion, the most interesting/talented of the current crop of film directors. So, I was quite interested to see what she had created on her own. She also stars in this film which I had read follows a woman’s horrific journey into an affliction which symbolizes all of the issues society dumps on women. It sounded even more interesting with the political slant into a horror movie.

There were approx. 10 other people who ventured out to see this film — I think. I really wasn’t counting, but I heard people behind me and there were two ladies infront of me. The movie is unrated, but Landmark is only selling tickets to those who are 17 or older. I decided the rating must be for wild French sex. I was wrong.

The only symbolism I found in the really gross movie was a woman’s journey into madness and the fact that she related to her body as food – or, rather, she was so detached from her body she treated it as this numb bit of baggage which she seemed to want to destroy. She injures her leg, takes pleasure in digging deeper into the cuts and by the film’s end is basically carving bits of skin/meat from herself and eating it. The movie seemed to be taking “cutting” to a whole other level.

I have never been able to look away from a screen — I have to watch what happens. I rarely walk out of a movie. This movie turned my stomach more than a few times, but I continued to watch. When the mercy of end titles emerged I noticed that there were only 2 viewers who sat through the whole thing — Me and another man behind me.

As I was walking to the men’s room I noticed that I had that soda after taste in my mouth. I thought of the mess I had just watched and barely made it to a toilet to toss all of my cookies. Ugh! Talk about spoil a lovely walk through the snow!

By the time I got home I just wanted to lay down, but Karl and I had plans to join our pals, Pete and Duncan, for dinner. I was glad I went as I ended up feeling better.

The snow continues to fall and I guess will be falling well into tomorrow. It is so pretty, but there is certainly a good amount of the stuff! We lost electricity for about 3 hours.

December 6, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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M&M’s

There is something you should know about me —- it is regarding the way I have to eat M&M’s. I am unable to just pop them in my mouth willy-nilly. No. I have to eat one color at a time. Right now I’ve a splayed package of M&M’s on my desk and I have sorted the various candies into color-groupings. Now, I can eat the colors in any order, but I must eat one group at a time. So — I am unable to eat a red M&M until I have consumed all of the yellow ones, etc.

This means I am unable to eat M&M’s in the dark. Goobers are my candy of choice when viewing a movie in a theatre. Which is a shame, really —- because I totally love M&M’s.

…it isn’t easy being me.

December 5, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Hair Dream

I am worried. My dreams have really become so very dull.

Last night I dreamed that I was in my high school gym locker room. I was all alone, but sweaty — so I took a shower. I got dressed. I stopped by the mirror to mess my hair a bit (as I do) and saw that I had a really full head of hair. So I decided to comb it so that I had bangs. I had to angle my head down to comb — when I would look up at the mirror my current hair was back on my head. If I angled my head down, the hair of my youth returned. I decided that all I needed to do was locate a can of Aqua Net, douse my hair while looking down and my hair of youth would stay. Luckily, I found a can near the tub of jock straps. I sprayed a ton of the stuff in my hair only to realize that it wasn’t Aqua Net —it was Windex. I looked up in the mirror and all that happened was that my current 37 year-old hair was doused with cleaning fluid and it was dripping all over my shirt. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and said, “shit” …then I woke up.

What is wrong with me?

If I were any normal sort of snap-happy gay fellow I would have dreamt that the shower was full of hot jocks who bathed me and did other unmentionable things to my person. I would have emerged from the shower sporting perfect pecs, a 6-pack and really defined legs — you know, like, with big calves. A hunky hair dresser would meet me at the mirror and brush through my thick mane of hair. I would look fabulous. Cute male cheerleaders would beg me to come play with them in the tub of jock straps, but I would decline and fly out of the locker room and into the sky for further erotic adventures with hot asian men.

But, no. I get to dream about bad hair and cleaning fluid.

I am worried that I am turning into that character played by the comedian whom I can’t remember in that movie for which I forget the title — you know the one I mean? The one where the guy dreams he is sitting at a table sipping soup. It is all he ever dreams. …I really don’t wanna be that guy.

December 4, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Old Man

I do not enjoy public transit. I really hate it. I can deal with the subway, but not when the MBTA fails to have enough cars to accomodate the public. This was the case last night.

In addition to being packed in like a sardine, I noticed that most of the folks I was merging into were hippie-wanna-be college age kids with poor hygiene. As the doors to of the subway car opened at the Fleet Center (also home of the commuter rails to the North Shore of New England) I was actually carried with the crowd down to the Fleet Center. There were thousand of these kids who were now drunk and blocking my way to catch my train.

I hated them.

I finally gathered that they were all there to “participate” in a Phish concert.

I hate Phish. I don’t even know what they sound like, but their audience was leaving much to be desired.

This was all one more reminder that I am really getting old and grumpy. Well, that is my rant for the day. …other than it is really quite cold outside —- Christmas is right around the corner!

December 3, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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Some Random Thoughts

I hate saying goodbye to people I care about. I just hate it. My friend Alan left today to return to San Francisco. We met in the city for lunch. Having him visit made me realize how much I miss him —- so I gave him my best sales job to lure him back to New England. Anyway, I know enough to keep goodbyes short. However that doesn’t prevent me from getting sad. I hugged him goodbye and told him I loved him and then came back into work and tried to focus on the work of the day, but I am dragging. Still, we had an awesome time and had a chance to catch up on our lives. My hope is that Karl and I will be visiting Alan in late spring/early summer. …Maybe I will just force him to come back with us when we do! ha!

The festive holiday plants came in for my office’s lobby. Several of them arrived on the verge of death and the poinsettia topiaries are way too short. The silk holiday arrangment I ordered for our coffee table is just too small. I am just not happy with the work of our vendor. I left a voice mail, but they are all over the city delivering holiday plants today. My hope is that I can get everything corrected before my boss returns to the office tomorrow afternoon!

Saturday afternoon I was a total dork and put my credit/debit card into an ATM at one of the local malls in Danvers and walked off without taking it back. So I had to call the banking institution’s 24 hour line to cancel the card. Had to stop by the bank this morning to make sure all is OK with my account. I will not receive my replacement card for 7 to 10 business days. For now, I will just have to get my butt into the bank to secure cash. Ugh.

And, I think my fingernails look odd. They seem too wide somehow. Why can’t I have normal fingernails? Maybe they are normal. I don’t know — but they look strange to me today.

Oh! We watched the “controversial” CBS TV movie, “The Reagans”, which the network dumped and gave to Showtime. I didn’t see the big “controversy” — Seemed like the producers played it pretty safe. They were hardest on Nancy — or as Ron called her, “Nancy-Pants/Mommy” — but even still they basically presented her as a sympathetic character who really cared for her husband —— who seemed to be out to lunch due to Alts during his last 3 years as president. Big deal. I thought they were far too easy on President Reagan and his refusual to address the then-pending AIDS epidemic.

…I wonder if Babs is upset that her husband can look so much like Ronald Reagan? I wonder if he calls her “Barbie-pants/Mommy”

Oh, and there are no plans to release the new Kylie Minouge CD in the US anytime soon. Looks like I will end up having to pay out the ass for an import copy if I want it before spring of next year. …which I do. However, Karl has me on a no-shopping clause till after Christmas. Maybe I will find it under the tree on the 24th. I hope.

December 1, 2003. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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